hopeless66 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 He's probebly just being a little slimey... If he told a guy he's got a girlfriend than he's probebly not lying. If he tells a girl he's single, then its 50/50.... Just to see his options. He's probebly just loving the attention. There is a few things you can do to see what his intentions are... If you see him at the gym, finish up when he does. Talk to him and say something like..."I've had the longest day, I was supposed to grab a drink with one of my girls and she just flaked on me..." That is as close to askin him out without doin it... See his reaction... Your second option is have one of your guy friends come up to you when you guys are at the gym and flirt with you a little... See if that sparks anything from his end... Have ur friend say something after a few minutes like, "I hope to see you around soon.." before he walks off.. If he is interested this will push him so not to "lose the opportunity"... Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 Even though he hasn't asked me out, his actions stand out to me. I mean I've made a ton of friends at the gym, male and female. He puts in more effort. Maybe things are going badly with her? God who knows. I mean it's not just like, oh hey we ran into each other. He'll specifically come over to where I'm working out to talk. The other thing is even though I know he has a girlfriend, I'm having trouble believing that he's a jerk like that. I think I'm a good judge of character and he just doesn't seem like that type of person. Maybe I'm just a fool then lol. The thing that truly gets to me is that he hasn't mentioned his girlfriend once. There's been plenty of opportunities. If he is just a friendly type of guy...wouldn't she come up? Even in just talking about his life? Ugh annie I'm sorry about that guy. At least you got out before you were too attached. At least you know to trust your gut when you feel like something is up. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 Well he didn't flat out say he has a girlfriend to the guy I know. My friend said "What happened to your girl?" He responded by saying that she's been busy with school, which is why she hasn't been at the gym. So it's implied. And that's the other thing I think I said before. What is he doing talking to someone like that at the same gym his girlfriend goes to? I mean as far as he's concerned, I have no clue about her. So what if she was there one day and I go up to him talking like we usually do? She'd get pissed off! And...I mean I only know this from my facebook stalking...but we have friends in common. These friends he knows through his girlfriend. I've mentioned them to him because they're all in med school and he's applying and he asked who I know in med school. So he knows about the connection. Wouldn't he be afraid it'll get back to her? I think too much. Link to comment
hopeless66 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 Never put anything past a guy... Sucks to say but guys can be very shady.... Girls aren't angels either...lol If you were with someone and a guy came up to you that you found very attractive and started flirting and having an enjoyable convo with I'm sure you wouldn't be quick to blurt out you were taken. Especially since its just talking innocently. Everybody loves attention... Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 I wouldn't expect him to blurt it out...but we both go to the gym on almost a daily basis so we see each other a lot and talk every time. So I'd think eventually it would come up. I know that the times I've been in a relationship, my boyfriend has always just naturally come up in conversation because he was a main part of my life. Link to comment
hopeless66 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 Yea but there hasn't been anything said to put him on the spot to put it out there..... Of course there has been opportunity, doesn't mean he's gna take it... Just keep in mind that there is a good chance that he is taken... Keep yourself guarded, the last thing you want to do is be caught up in the middle if that is the situation...... If you really want to know, next time you are in conversation, tell him you've noticed he's been going there for a while. Tell him you used to see him with a girl and gently ask who she was... Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 Yea I'm going to. As long as there's not a lot of people around. I just want to hear from him that he has a girlfriend so I can leave it alone. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 OK..I asked about the girl. Nothing. So he wasn't at the gym while I was there. I'm walking home and I thought I saw him drive by. He pulls over to park at this apartment a block away from me and sees me walking down the street. He's like, "Aw I missed you! I was just going to grab my shorts and go over!" I told him I just lived a block away and he said he'd walk me home. So we stood outside of my apartment talking for like a half hour. At one point we talked about how it's hard to meet new people since he's only been here for a year. I said, what about that girl you always used to come to the gym with? He goes, oh yea, (insert name). I go, well at least you have her, right? And he goes, yea but I mean as far as a group of guy friends, I don't really have any. So...I opened up that door...still nothing. Still didn't ask me to hang out or for my number. But he did say he'd try to get to the gym when I'm going tomorrow. I'd feel like an idiot flat out asking, do you have a girlfriend...but god do I have to at this point? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 it sort of sounds like she's his gf, but yeah, he's definitely not being clear! i dunno what his deal is.... maybe he has a minor crush on you, but he is still with this girl? either that or he is the dumbest guy ever! sigh. Link to comment
bijoux27 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 I think he's just interested in making new friends... Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 I was the one that brought up the issue of meeting people though..so I could segway into that girl. Maybe he is just looking for a friend. But when wouldn't he bring up a girlfriend to make that clear? When someone acts like that, it's easy to think they're interested. And if he has a girlfriend, why does he not have plans with her? He said he spent last night home alone and will be spending tonight home alone. Crap I should have invited him out with my friend and me tonight, lol. That was stupid. Link to comment
stella74 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 Well, at this point I'd ask you - do you really want to date someone who either has a girlfriend and flirts with other women or is not a clear communicator? For me personally, the way he's behaving would be a turn-off. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 He doesn't know I'm aware of any of this though. If he has a girlfriend, then he's a jerk. But if he doesn't, he's probably just putting out the feelers. He's got no clue what's going on in my head. Or that I'm apparently crazy lol. My friend and I were talking. Since he keeps saying that he doesn't really have people to hang out with, I could invite him to the Halloween party I'm going to. If he has a girlfriend, he shouldn't be able to go since usually couples would spend that night together. Link to comment
stella74 Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 But the point is that he's not communicating directly with you. If he was really interested in you, he would want you to know that the other girl was not his girlfriend. He would make it clear to you that he was single. Otherwise, he runs the risk of losing you. If you are feeling this confused now, just think how confusing it would be to date this guy! LOL Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 Haha I see what you mean. Maybe they're on the outs or something. I'll just have to tread carefully on this one. This is just a funny thought that my friend and I were discussing yesterday...but the guy that asked him about his girlfriend has a thing for me. He's always telling me that I'm attractive...it can get kind of weird sometimes. But he's also a nice guy. It would never happen because he's 13 years older, legally separated and has a twelve year old daughter. Anyway, my friend and I were joking that maybe he made it up to sabotage anything from happening haha. When we talk now, he's like, there are other guys besides him...there are other fish in the sea...it's funny. Link to comment
stella74 Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Hmm, it's possible he might have said that so you'd be into him instead of the other guy. That's pretty funny. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 God...the drama never ends. I being kinda sneaky. From that facebook stalking I did, I learned that he's friends with three girls I know who are in the same med school year as his possible girlfriend. Well one of my good friends from home is also in the program and I had already been telling her about him. So I knew that once I mentioned her name, since he did yesterday, it would click. And it did. She said that she saw him at a med school get together yesterday, but the girl wasn't there. She went up to him and asked him where she was and he said she's out of town visiting her family. Well that explains why he has no plans for the weekend. Still weird he never mentioned her. So I'm just going to assume he's just looking for friends and treat it that way. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 28, 2008 Author Share Posted October 28, 2008 Ugh I don't mean to keep posting on this old thread, but things keep happening and leaving me confused. He hasn't been at the gym in a couple weeks so I was moving on, wanting to give my number to this other guy. Then today...he's back. I walk into the gym and talk to my trainer for a second, and I see out of the corner of my eye that he's waiting for me to come over and approached me immediately saying he had been out of town. We caught up for a bit and then he went to play basketball. After I did my cardio, I went back through the gym intending to go to the weight room and he asks me to play basketball with him and this kid. So I did for a bit. He was pretty flirty and we ended up talking more so the kid left for a bit haha. Then I go to do my weights and he leaves without saying anything. I just don't get it. I'd think that asking me to play basketball with them is kind of a flirty thing to do, right? Or am I just that far off with this whole thing? Link to comment
cutiepie07 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I agree with Stella if he's being this confusing now imagine how confusing it would be to date him? Also, do you really want to be with a guy who's not explicitly showing interest? If you're always wondering about their actions, that's not good. Maybe since you like him, you are reading into his actions too much. I do that too and it's a hard thing to break. But trust me there is a guy out there who will have no problem letting you know his intentions and that he likes you! If you really do want to know, you could just explicitly ask him, or when/if you are going to invite him to your halloween party, you could add on something like 'you can bring your girlfriend too' and see what he says. That should give you an answer unless he's still vague and in that case you should definitely move on. Sorry it's so frustrating! Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 I know I should just forget about it. It's just hard when every time I see him at the gym, he shows me interest like that. I'm not the one approaching him, it's the other way around. And that is not something that happens often for me, so it's a big deal to me when it does happen. All that's happened since I broke up with my ex in April was being set up on a blind date and one kid asking me out that I wasn't interested in. I'm just not the type of girl that gets this kind of attention from a guy, so it's hard for me to just move on like that. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 but he gives you almost absolutely nothing outside the gym right? it's like at his convenience and your expense. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 Well technically I don't give him anything outside of the gym either, right? I know what you're saying though. If he's interested, he should have asked me out by now. I saw him tonight as I was leaving. He mentioned having a school interview on Monday at a school a friend of mine went to. I said if he wants to talk to her just let me know and he said he actually would. So I asked if he's on facebook so I could get them in touch and he gave me his last name so I could find him and then smiled and said we'd be facebook buddies, lol. So we'll see if that leads to anything. I guess I should still ask my friend to give the guy from the football game my number since nothing has technically happened here. I'll give my friend a call tomorrow night. Link to comment
stella74 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I think if he hasn't asked you out by now and hasn't taken any more initiative to get to know you outside of the gym, it's time to move on. If you become his facebook friend, what is it that you expect? That's only going to add you to his growing group of female friends. It won't make him want to ask you out. I'm sure he's enjoying your attention just as much as you're enjoying his. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 The only excuse I can give him is that he's shy when it comes to that...but I can't count on that. I'm going to call my friend tomorrow and ask him to give the guy from the football game my number. Can't pass up an opportunity for something that isn't a guarantee. I can't lie though and say I don't hope that something will happen with the gym guy, but I'm not going to assume anything will happen at all. Link to comment
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