guys: 19-29, would you lose attraction for someone you just met?

[ghost69]

How could you be committed to them? Are you still with them? Commitment is a commitment so it lasts, ghost.

 

And yeah, marriage is the real commitment. As long as its done by people who are genuine and not ignorant of what they are getting into.

 

how can you say that? commitment is commitment? you think every relationship lasts forever? then you are more naive than i thought.

 

and now i'm not genuine and ignorant because my relationships never made it to marriage? haha, wow, very mature statement. you might have some deep rooted issues.

[amtjrtcet]

How could you be committed to them? Are you still with them? Commitment is a commitment so it lasts, ghost.

 

And yeah, marriage is the real commitment. As long as its done by people who are genuine and not ignorant of what they are getting into.

 

You can be committed for 2 wks or 2 yrs....its still a committment.

[Caterina]

how can you say that? commitment is commitment? you think every relationship lasts forever? then you are more naive than i thought.

 

and now i'm not genuine and ignorant because my relationships never made it to marriage? haha, wow, very mature statement. you might have some deep rooted issues.

 

You interpreted wrong. If you look it up, a commitment is something that lasts...thats it. I'm not saying anythign about whether relationships should last forever. I'm not trying to make you mad, but I just think that you need to recognize taht there is nothing wrong with wanting to get married...b/c you make it out like there is.

 

And I wasn't saying you were not genuine, JEEESH. I was saying that people who enter into marriage blind folded aren't.

 

You're saying that I have deep seated issues b/c you think I'm attacking you. I"m not. I don't really want to talk about this anymore.

 

Thanks a lot though. I never said you had deep seated issues. That was really hurtful to say...but whatever.

[starlight40]

Ooh guys.......each to their own i say! Live and let live!

[Caterina]

This has gotten off topic. Probably my fault, but still, off topic.

[ghost69]

You interpreted wrong. If you look it up, a commitment is something that lasts...thats it. I'm not saying anythign about whether relationships should last forever. I'm not trying to make you mad, but I just think that you need to recognize taht there is nothing wrong with wanting to get married...b/c you make it out like there is.

 

And I wasn't saying you were not genuine, JEEESH. I was saying that people who enter into marriage blind folded aren't.

 

You're saying that I have deep seated issues b/c you think I'm attacking you. I"m not. I don't really want to talk about this anymore.

 

Thanks a lot though. I never said you had deep seated issues. That was really hurtful to say...but whatever.

 

 

wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. just my opinion. and the definition of commitment does not say 'forever'.

[ProtestTheHero]

Would hearing this make you lose attraction for a girl? Say you just met her and you were friendly with her and then you heard a conversation between her and other girls. THe other girls said that they attracted weird guys and the girl said, "I don't know what I attract. I attract Nothing!"

 

No, that in and of itself would not turn me off. If anything I'd just think she had a taste for self-depricating humor and liked to take things lightly. If she said 10-20 comments like this in a serious tone, I'd think she might be a little crazy.

 

Caterina, I think I understand your position more than most. I come from a Christian background, so in my mind the word committment has a lot of longetivity to it. It's not a word I would use when dating. I "dated" someone for almost 2 years. Was I "committed" to her? I don't know, because I didn't feel like I could marry her in the end, so I refrained from using that word. Marriage and commitment are synonymous to me. That doesn't mean that I view Ghost, Drew, and other guys here as being wrong, I just use the word differently.

 

This much I will say: If any guy can smell a burning desire to lifetime commitmment within the first few dates, you WILL scare most of them off until you find someone as desperate as yourself, in which case you guys can second guess each other's commitment and fall prey to jealousy for years to come.

 

I was under the impression that you were in your early 20's...like 20-23 right? If you're expecting 20-23 year old guys to be receptive to this type of thinking than I can understand your frustration and problems. What you need to do is find a guy and show each other a good time first. That doesn't mean you have to have sex, but you need to be fun to be around. You can still have moments of intimacy in your convos and in your time together, so it would be best to find a guy willing to wait for sex or someone who viewed sex like you do.

 

Just don't bring up the topic of marriage. Let things flow naturally instead of letting your desire control it. Desparation for marriage and problems in the dating world share a positive relationship, as one increases so does the other.

[madmarten]

Would hearing this make you lose attraction for a girl? Say you just met her and you were friendly with her and then you heard a conversation between her and other girls. THe other girls said that they attracted weird guys and the girl said, "I don't know what I attract. I attract Nothing!"

 

The fact that you even post a question likes this means you are thinking too much!!! The short answer is no, not really. On first thought, it is just some girl who is a little frustrated with dating. Who isn't? Most guys (and girls) don't hang on someones next word trying to shoot them down.

 

Now if a person kept making such statements, I would think they have some serious self-esteem issues.

[My Advice]

caterina don't worry about it. If he likes you it will if anything be a signal to him that you are available and wanting someone.

[My Advice]

what's wrong with just wanting sex from a person? I don't want to marry every woman I have sex with.