I will never get married

[emmyspartan20]

Hey,

I am 20 years old and attend Michigan State University. I am blonde I'm 5'1 and moderately attractive. In high school I was "that girl" the one that all the boys wanted but didn't ask out cuz I was "too pretty". Now I am in college and I feel like I am an average face in a beautiful crowd. I dated this guy for a long while and we broke up, and are still talking and what not. But I feel like if I don't meet anyone in college then I will never meet a guy because I am going to be an elementary teacher. I feel like I will never get asked out on a date, even thought I am single. And i only have two more years in college and then its over! I am never going to get married and have the life i wanted. And i'm not ugly. This makes me depressed. I guess I just am not pretty enough to hack it in college. HELP!

[Maverick44]

Hey emmy,

 

While I know marriage is important to people, and to a degree, even to me, I don't think you should place so much emphasis on finding the person at this point in your life.

 

College, at your age, is more about finding YOURSELF then finding someone else. If right now you feel that you need someone in your life to complete your life (i.e. marriage), is that healthy? The thing is - look at the life that you want - and ask yourself, why do I want it? How does it make me a better person? Does it make me a better person because I am with someone and now complete?

 

Ok, past that part, I think you should also consider that even if by the time you finish college you don't find somebody, does that really mean you WON'T ever find someone? Umm, no. BUT it does mean that you should get involved with different types of hobbies/groups/interests to you. For example, would there be a teacher's group of sort that you would be able to join? How about a cooking group or class? Life doesn't end at 22 because you're not in college. It does mean that YOU have to make an effort to find things and people who you can be around.

 

Hope this is something that you can consider.

 

Maverick

[jayne]

Remember...you are an attractive, smart, wonderful woman. Stop thinking about it and enjoy your independence...guys will see and feel your confidence and be drawn to you like flys to honey. Trust me on this one! Guys can smell desperation a mile away...I hope this helps.

[captain_nemo]

hello Emmyspartan

 

U r not alone who feels that he/she should not marry. I also feel like u. U r still in college and u feel that u will find nobody as u hven't found anyone till now. I m 27, my college days are over and now I m in job and till now I was never asked 4 a date.

 

I really feel I should not marry. Why should anybody marry me? I don't hve any quality I should be proud of. I am physically weak, my penis is small, I m not good in either of sports, arts, music or anything else. I am really an average if not below avg one. I don't hve right to destroy anyone's life.

 

I am trying to prepare myself for a lonely life.

[Hero_99]

Hey,

I am 20 years old and attend Michigan State University. I am blonde I'm 5'1 and moderately attractive. In high school I was "that girl" the one that all the boys wanted but didn't ask out cuz I was "too pretty".

 

Well, I've never really helped a girl with her problems before, so I don't know how effective my advice would be or whether you should take it or not (I am use to giving other men advice), but I'll give it a shot.

 

First off I would like to say that you are not the first girl who feels this way. While it might be hard to understand why guys do not seem as interested in you as you think they should be, there are actually several diffrent reasons why (maybe more than I list) that could possibly help you atleast understand why.

 

I guess you happen to be one of these girls that have what I like to call "too fine of an appearance." While guys do say that they want a beautiful girl that they can look at for the rest of their life; guys can get turned off by this type of woman for these reasons.

 

1. competition (that another guy will want to steal you and you'll let him)

2. intimidation (from your beauty, possibly as well from other men)

3. inexperienced (men will feel they arn't experienced enough to handle you)

 

Maybe other men can give their input here as well, as I am sure there are other reasons, but basically what it boils down to is that men sometimes feel that women such as you are more maintenance than you are worth meerly because of your looks without judging you by your personality.

 

Now, I am not saying that all men will let your beauty bother them as such, as I know that there are men out there that believe themselves strong enough to handle you.

 

The problem is that the average man is lazy, messy, doesn't live up to his potential, and completely ignores and denies his manhood.

 

READ THIS ABOVE AGAIN: THAT IS THE REASON WHY MEN DO NOT ASK YOU OUT ON DATES. I REPEAT, READ IT AGAIN..... MEN ESPECIALLY!!!

 

In fact, when you think about how a solid relationship should work, a healthy man would not be bothered by other men approaching you (women get hit on more than men typically anyways) as he should fully trust that you will stay with him and would be amused by another mans approach, and if you leave him he would handle it like a man and would roam around until another woman attaches on to him.

 

The average man is not healthy, so don't expect to many of the average men to be hitting on you when it does happen. Believe me it will happen some day; I can't promise when...

 

This seems a little awkwards having me tell you to do this, but since the guys you have been around havn't had the nerve to do it; maybe you can try being a bit more aggressive with guys and ask them out for dates or something. Or maybe you can just not find one and leave men regretting missing every chance they had to become romantic with you before they keel to the daisies; sad, but there are a lot more than you think.....

 

REMEMBER GUYS, IT'S NOT HOW YOU HANDLE OTHER MEN; IT IS HOW YOU HANDLE THE WOMAN THAT DETERMINES WHETHER SHE STAYS WITH YOU OR NOT. DON'T LET OTHER MEN DISTRACT YOU....

[Hero_99]

hello Emmyspartan

 

U r not alone who feels that he/she should not marry. I also feel like u. U r still in college and u feel that u will find nobody as u hven't found anyone till now. I m 27, my college days are over and now I m in job and till now I was never asked 4 a date.

 

I really feel I should not marry. Why should anybody marry me? I don't hve any quality I should be proud of. I am physically weak, my penis is small, I m not good in either of sports, arts, music or anything else. I am really an average if not below avg one. I don't hve right to destroy anyone's life.

 

I am trying to prepare myself for a lonely life.

 

Well, I want to help you, but it sounds almost like you want to have a lonely life.

 

But if you are interested in getting married some day and getting over these bad feelings about yourself here are a few suggestions...

 

Why not get some hobbies or learn to play a musical instrument or something? If you like computers go down to the local community college and learn a new programming language or get ones of those dummy books and read it nightly.

 

Maybe you can also learn a foreign language while you are at it, or two, or three, or four...

 

Maybe you can take some dance lessons, that will help get you out of your shell if you are really really shy.

 

Just go out and expend your potential as a man, dwelve into your hobbies, it will help you forget that you are depressed and your life will be full of meaning again..

[routerx]

The average age of marriage is 26 years old now.

 

Looks.. c'mon.. they change over the period of a lifetime. There are girls who were hot in college that I know who are considered ugly now. Why? Because they had ugly hearts and ended up living an ugly life and they are surrounded by ugliness.

 

Make sure you have a beautiful heart and you'll be fine, I promise.

 

If you got married at 21 years old, I'd be willing to bet that you would regret it when you are 31. The reason I say this is because the difference in who you are at 20 and 30 is ... huge.

 

Sounds to me like you aren't really looking forward to your future too much and you placing all of your hopes into a guy to make your future better.

 

To get married because you are afraid of being alone is the wrong reason to get married. Get married because you love your life and the person who loves you appreciates what you have done with your great life as well.

[Victoriangirl]

Hey there,

 

It's not 1956 so stop panicking! You are just barely out of your parents' house and now you're fretting about immediately finding a husband.

Why don't you simply let your relationships dictate when you get married, instead of a preconceived notion of exactly "where people meet their spouses." If you don't meet anyone compatible in college, then so be it!

You never know when you're going to meet the love of your life, so there is no use gazing into the future and trying to predict what is going to happen then getting all upset about it.

Take your life in stride instead of rushing to the altar.

Furthermore, what is this business about "not being pretty enough..."? If only "pretty" people got married, then the wedding business would be in pretty bad shape. Looking like the perfect plastic bride n'groom wedding toppers isn't a prerequisite to actually saying " I do."

[captain_nemo]

hi Hero_99

 

yes u r right. I should take a hobby. after all where the life will lead me to without a hobby. but unfortunately my job doesn't allow me to spend much time on hobbies regularly. but learning to sing, dance and computer programming require regular parctice and time. Can u suggest me some hobbies which don't need regular practice and less time consuming.

 

Nemo