has anyone ever told the other woman's husband about the affair?

[mattyang]

I've never told the wife...there have been times I wanted to - to get back at him in a way but when it comes right down to it, I have no want or right to ruin her world and hurt her any more than I already have. It's a hard position to be in, but technically we never should have been in that position at all. Put aside how you feel and think of the other woman this time, do the right thing.

[CallingAllAngels]

I've never told the wife...there have been times I wanted to - to get back at him in a way but when it comes right down to it, I have no want or right to ruin her world and hurt her any more than I already have. It's a hard position to be in, but technically we never should have been in that position at all. Put aside how you feel and think of the other woman this time, do the right thing.

 

my feelings exactly on contacting the husband....see my post above.

 

great post.

 

~Allie

[tangi39]

Personally, I'd be more inclined to forgive someone who told me.

If I found out years later, I'd be a LOT angrier.

I think it's the right thing to tell, I think you do the spouse a LOT more harm by not telling- Short term pain vs. Long term pain- I'd prefer short-term, but that's just me.

[CallingAllAngels]

Personally, I'd be more inclined to forgive someone who told me.

If I found out years later, I'd be a LOT angrier.

I think it's the right thing to tell, I think you do the spouse a LOT more harm by not telling- Short term pain vs. Long term pain- I'd prefer short-term, but that's just me.

 

In my case, the OW not only was married but had 3 very small children. I did not want to be responsible for making those innocent children the possible product of divorce.

 

I figure she will (and probably already has) get hers some day.

 

Cheaters always get caught.

 

Just my 2cents.

 

~Allie

[tangi39]

In my case, the OW not only was married but had 3 very small children. I did not want to be responsible for making those innocent children the possible product of divorce.

 

I figure she will (and probably already has) get hers some day.

 

Cheaters always get caught.

 

Just my 2cents.

 

~Allie

 

SHE is responsible for her own actions. IMVHO, she should have thought about everyone (Including her children) she may be hurting BEFORE sleeping with a MM. But if her priorities were elsewhere, that was her choice. Reap what you sow.

Don't make a choice to do something if you can't deal with the (possibly) catastrophic consequences.

 

I do agree Allie that most cheaters DO get caught. And I believe in kharma as well.

 

I am so sorry that happened to you Allie. I have nothing but the highest respect for you.

I just believe that if people knew they would be caught, a lot more people would be detoured from cheating- Which is why I always believe in telling- But that's just my 2.