Shentar Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 What do you do? Those times when you want to do anything to get that special someone back but you know its pointless but you still want to do something. You go around in a little circle in your head. You chest aches and you feel like quivering. You want to cry but can't. You just don't know how to deal with the present. You know what you should be doing to get over everything, but you just can't. I used to talk to my mother when I feel like I do now, but she had a stroke and is in the hospital herself. I can't bring this to her. I also can't see her since she is 2500 miles away now, so no one around me to hug. I'm alone here in this city I moved to earlier this year, and that makes it harder. My ex was my friend in addition to my lover, so I can't talk to her about it. I still hope every night she will call me. I miss her so. So what do you do? Link to comment
yankeefan74 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Spend time here, talking to people who know how you are feeling. Link to comment
Artop Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 I think you should save your money and go see your Mom after she gets out of the hospital. She will appreciate it and it will take your mind off your ex. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 i call up one of my close friends thats familiar with the situation and talk to them about..im sure there are people that you can lean on also, i will stay busy doing stuff funny that you mention the motorcycle..thats one of my escapes..i get on my bike and escape the world sometimes Link to comment
Shentar Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 I try talking to my roommate about it, but he hasn't dated anyone in 5 years. I helps but not really all that much. I have been planning on going back to see her. She won't get out of rehab for a long time, but I do miss mom. Unfortunately with airline prices, I have to wait two weeks to go. I guess I am still at that point where nothing sounds fun. I love my car and going off into the mountains to drive, but it just doesn't appeal to me now. I race the car too in autocross events, and I even won the regional championship for my class. However, t didn't make me happy or bring me joy. I guess I just have to wait it out. But I am still interested in hearing more ways yall deal with those intense feelings of sadness. Link to comment
COtuner Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 I used to autocross myself or go canyon carve but don't really have the urge since all this happened. Mostly just read and watch tv series and exercise is what I'm doing. Oh yeah, and work more hours - there's always plenty to be done. Link to comment
dead Posted September 13, 2008 Share Posted September 13, 2008 i totally relate Shentar. Horrible place to be. You could even probably write a book yourself on tips on how to move on from this, given the amount of research you have done on the net on how to get over something and yet........you cant move on. Its a bit like when you tell yourself to try to ignore a white elephant.....you just see it right in front of you. Honestly, its like torture. The mine is self perpetuating like that.........you can actually be having an argument in your head....one side is rational " she doesnt want you anymore, ever" and one side says " yes, but...just maybe". Sometimes, my mind is like that and i shout out " argggghhh". how do i deal with it ? well, ym best resource so far has been to take some life coaching over the net. Its relatively cheap. Feel free to email me if you want the site and the chaps name. Link to comment
jcrisph Posted September 13, 2008 Share Posted September 13, 2008 hang out with my friends...we take the car out for a little cruise...then take some pics of the cars..then get dinner or something.you have a lot of time to talk to close friends when your driving to no where...image removed Link to comment
missa_bd Posted September 13, 2008 Share Posted September 13, 2008 What do you do? Those times when you want to do anything to get that special someone back but you know its pointless but you still want to do something. You go around in a little circle in your head. You chest aches and you feel like quivering. You want to cry but can't. You just don't know how to deal with the present. You know what you should be doing to get over everything, but you just can't. So what do you do? i can feel your pain, i can cry tho... i cry a lot actually, but no relief Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted September 13, 2008 Share Posted September 13, 2008 I go for a long drive. Long distance driving is my coping mechanism. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted September 13, 2008 Share Posted September 13, 2008 How long has it been for you Shentar? I usually cope by looking forward to the weekend and going out to get drunk. Not the best way to deal with it and i always feel 10x worse the day after but it gives me a break from feeling like crap for a few hours at least. Link to comment
Shentar Posted September 13, 2008 Author Share Posted September 13, 2008 How long has it been for you Shentar? I usually cope by looking forward to the weekend and going out to get drunk. Not the best way to deal with it and i always feel 10x worse the day after but it gives me a break from feeling like crap for a few hours at least. Since the breakup? about a week. I have strong moments, but I feel like I have more weak ones than strong ones. After work I went to the gym. Ran two miles and lifted weights for an hour. Everytime she jumped in my head, I just pushed harder. I am sore today, but I at least feel like I did something. Sorta wish I could just sleep it off. I had thought about going out to a bar this weekend. Drink a little and at least see that there are cute girls out there. Probably shouldn't talk to any, but at least see them. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted September 13, 2008 Share Posted September 13, 2008 Not long at all then. It will get a lot better but it will take time. You should get yourself out and about. I wouldn't recommend drinking too much though even though I always manage to get completely hammered. No reason why you can't talk to other girls too unless it will make you feel uncomfortable. Get out there and see what is about, you probably aren't ready yet but there is no harm in seeing whats about for when you are ready Link to comment
jimbobdaley Posted September 14, 2008 Share Posted September 14, 2008 Do what i did, pack your bags, get on a plane to London, get off and think "mmmmm now what??" Best thing i ever did, stayed in a hostel till i found a place to live, and made great new friends Link to comment
Shentar Posted September 14, 2008 Author Share Posted September 14, 2008 That does sound like that would help in some ways, but I don't want to run from my problems. For me, that is what it would be if I did do that. I just wish I could heal and get on with life. Or I could cry all the pain out, one or the other. Link to comment
Shentar Posted September 14, 2008 Author Share Posted September 14, 2008 For some reason, I just realized that her and I won't be together and shouldn't be together. Its a calmer feeling flowing over me. I don't feel better, per se. I just feel calmer. Link to comment
jimbobdaley Posted September 14, 2008 Share Posted September 14, 2008 yeah kinda helped, but the baggage was always there I cant believe im posting on here again! I just wanna smile Link to comment
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