prettydeadroses Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 update: hey everyone. sorry to bother you alll again: i recently talked with him again last night cause it was still bothering me. the first time i talked to him about it he said he just wanted to have some pics of my family cause he didn't have any and that he didn't remember seeing any other pictures. then last night when i showed him a picture of me and he said it was hot i said aww u think everyone is hot and he said no just you and i said except my sis and he said he didnt think she was cute. but the first time he said he just wanted pics of my family and didnt remember seeing the others then last night he said he was going to go back and get the others but never got around to it. here is the convo. i just wanted to know if you all think he's lying about that picture or not. cause it seems he said 2 differnet things. do you all think he's being truthful or just saying whatever. i can't decide so i need help. about a week ago: me: but how come u saved a picture of my sister? - lol it was in one my albums u had lol. u like her pic or something? lol. him: no, i hust didnt have a picture of ur family and i wanted to have some. me: but u only saved hers. its was from that day we went to georgetown. and none of the rest. just that one. him: dont remembers see any others, u have picts of mine but i didnt have any of yours me: yeah it was a lot i posted al ong time ago of us in georgetown when we went to meet our neighbors. u only saved hers though lol. i was like crap. lol. i posted a whole album before. back in october when we went. him: i cant remember seeing the others, i properly didnt finished copying the rest of them. then last night: him: wooo HOT! me: lol. u think everyone is hot. him: no, just u, lol me: lol really? lol. him: yes really, lol. me: lol. me: well except for my sis - lol. him: no, ur better looking then ur sister. me: lmao. so u dont think she's cute ? lmao him: no, lol me: lmao. u dont have to say no if u do. lol. i just figured u did. lol him: i meant it, shes not cute. me: lmao. oh. i just thought that when i saw the pic on here. lol and none of the others that day. so i kept thinking it anyway. and i thought it sucked . lol. is it my turn yet? lol him: yeah its your turn, lol. me: no comment? lmao him: oh, u want a comment, lol, well i once said before i never finshed download the the rest of them. me: so u liked hers the best cuz thats the only one u saved out of all of them. lol him: ur not listening, i said she was not cute, i never finished downloaded the rest of them. me: i read what u said. him: k then. me: it still dont make sense though him: nothing makes sense to u. me: whatever me: why would u jsut save 1 picture? him: because again, never finished download the rest of them, i just did one, then i quit, and i was gonna go back later get the rest. i never got around to it. me: then why hers? out of all of them? him: i dont know, i guess when i open the pic thingy urs came up first, so i downloaded then i said to my self i just get the rest later, i guess decide to quit, maybe i was to tired to do the rest. me: but the other day u said u didnt remember seeing anymore from that day. and i know i didnt post hers first when i posted them all. him maybe i was to freaken tired to remember when i was doing it. and below is the first post i just wanted to edit w/an update. i was looking at our pictures on my fiances computer. and its just pictures of me and us. and then i came accross this one picture in a folder of just my sister. he never even met her or anything. its a picture of my sister i had posted on my site last year when we went to visit some friends. i dont see any of the other ones of me or the rest of the people from that day. he just saved a picture of her. why? does he thinks she's hot or something? he never even met her or anything. so why would he save just a photo of her? should i ask him about it and what should i say? now i'm wondering if he has pictures of other girls saved like on his flash drives or somewhere else? i feel hurt because i just see the picture of her from that day. its just a closeup of her wearing a usc shirt. he likes usc so i dont know if thats why or not but why would he be looking at my sister in that way? i feel like crap now. : ( he must've forgot it was on here or something. and i wasn't snooping i was just looking through our photos for some to upload to my site. and it was saved by itself in one of the folders. i asked him about it finally and he said that he saved it cause he didn't have any pictures of my famiy and he wanted some. but why didn't he save pictures of my mom from that day too or me on that day. it was just that one? he said i had pictures of some of his family but he didn't. he did have pictures of my mom and uncle. he never even met my sister. one time before i saw photo he saved with my aunt, sister, and me and he saved that but not ones of my mom or anything. so why does he keeps saving hers? me and my sister arent even that close. should i believe what he says or do you think hes just saying that and really just liked her picture or thought she was hot or something? do you guys or girls save pictures like that when your other posts them on a website do you just save the photo of someone? he had to get it from my site. 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ghost69 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 is it just a head shot? why is it so concerning? maybe he did think he saved the others. so you are upset your fiance has pictures from a public website? uh oh.... is it tasteful? is it just a headshot? Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 You know your boyfriend better than any of us do. this is ambiguous, it would depend on the boyfriend to know why he saved it. To me, its weird and its too hard to know. I mean, if he had pics of your family, I wouldn't suspect anything. It could be either: - you have issues/feelings of inadequacy about your sister - he saved it b/c he thought she was pretty - you're being scarily paranoid - he did it b/c its your family - he likes your sister better than you Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I think you may be over reacting about the picture. From reading your other posts, Does this guy still live with his Mother? Link to comment
LanceVanceDance Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 It doesn't sound like a problem to me. If I was in a serious relationship I would also want to have pictures of my partners's siblings (as well as meet them, but I'm not sure why he hasn't met her yet). I think you're probably overreacting. Link to comment
Honesty Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I completely agree with Lance.. I would save a picture of my partner's siblings. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I'd do it for a number of reasons - the main one being so i would remember her name and what she looks like so when I meet her i can appear more "with it"....there's nothing like remembering your "other's" family members names to gain favour! ARe you ...ummm.... looking for trouble or something...just a thought. Link to comment
prettydeadroses Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 not its not just her head. its her head and shirt and her holding my pink cam and kinda a close up picture of her when we were visiting some people and were outside. i asked him if he liked her picture or something he said no he just wanted to have some pictures of my family because he didn't have any. but of course he wont say yeah right? lol. and we are engaged now but he saved this like a year before we were engaged. well not quite a year and we had been together a year already. his best friend knows my sister from a long time ago but he never met her. plus shes married so i was just wondering if he is just saving it cause he like how it looked or if he is really just interested in my family. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 do you have trust issues with him? are you jealous of your sister in some way? do you think she is prettier than you or something? Link to comment
AmIafool Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I'm going to disagree with everyone who says you're overreacting. If there were other pictures of your family along with that photo, I wouldn't worry. But since he designated a lone folder with that lone picture, which he saved from your site.... I can see why this would bother you. I can't say I would be very objective about it if my boyfriend had saved a picture of just my sister and not included photos of my other family members in a folder along with it. Especially if he had access to them. But he didn't save other photos of family members from your site, photos you took the same day as your sister's picture, and had posted at the same time. If he wanted to save other pictures of your family, he had them right there for the taking.... but he singled out your sister. It's like Gratsy said - there's the possibility he finds her attractive, or it could be that he started a folder, just put that one picture in, and forgot to add to it. It's really hard to know, because he's never going to admit he finds her attractive if that is the case. However, he did complain about not having pictures of your family, and he could have had the others you'd posted quite easily. It doesn't take much effort. That is what would make me feel paranoid about the whole thing, as I think it's doing for you. You don't want to jump to conclusions, but it is hard not to question. Couldn't he have just asked you for pictures of your family? Link to comment
kenshinkitten Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 This has happened to me...in a way, my boyfriend became friends with this girl from college that we went to high school with. I became uncomfortable with it, we broke up over it because he took the friendship too far. That Summer I found pictures of her and one of our friend's little sister on his laptop and pc. He said they took them on his computer or they sent them to him...bull * * * * but i loved him and told him i believed him. He saved the pictures, thought they were hot, continued the friendships behind my back. It hurt and always will... Turns out duh, he was lying to me. Talk to him about it. Link to comment
ryan123 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Id suspect he thought she was pretty. Sounds messed up. I hope im not right. Link to comment
bijoux27 Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I saved a pic of my Bf's brother on my computer...cause I wanted to remember what he looked like (this was before we met, but after we have spoken on the phone a couple of times). I am not attracted to him or anything. I just saved it for no real reason. Link to comment
prettydeadroses Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 well the only other time i saw a picture he saved was of me that same sister and my aunt one time. and he saved picturs of me and my son before. the picture i found of her was in a folder that he had my pictues in. the folder had my name and 2007 it was in that one. and he titled it my name sister. i just dont know what to think. i hate to bring it up again so i just came here to see what everyone thought. she did have on a usc gamecock shirt and thats his fave team so maybe he liked thati dont know. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I wouldn't worry about this at all, personally. It had your name...he's just trying to remember who your sister was. I wouldn't care if my bf did this. What I'd care about is if I saw himlooking at her in "that" way if you know what I mean. Link to comment
Maya_A Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 OP wrote; he did have pictures of my mom and uncle. ^^^^ Is that he did save of your mom & uncle as you wrote, or did you mean didn't? If he has your mom, uncle, aunt, then he did not save pics of just your sister. It is hard to tell exactly what is going on/not here from your email as someone said, but from the energy of your email it does feel as though you do have some doubts about your own level of attraction in his eyes (or maybe worries around the wedding & his feelings?) & also some more deep-seated feelings around your sister.... You have known him for a good amount of time. If you feel that he has always been respectful and has integrity in the area of monogamy generally, then that is a good thing of course. If not, then that is a whole other ball of wax. If things have been going well in general I would let this issue go. I would also maybe do some introspection into anything that might be worrying you about your relationship with him & heal the self thoughts that may be causing any fear, doubt, etc. within you. And also discuss anything else that you feel might be related to him, with him, before you get married. Good luck Link to comment
prettydeadroses Posted September 10, 2008 Author Share Posted September 10, 2008 no he only had those pictures on his computer of my mom and uncle caused i saved them on there when downloading them but the one of my sister he saved. now i feel like i hate my sister these last 3 days more then ever. we never had a great relationship anyway so thats why i dont get why he even saved it. and i hate him for saving it. yeah i have trust issues and im insecure but i dont know if its just insecurity or if i should worry about it. im scared that we will get married and then i find out later he has a whole stash of pictures of others or some secrets and i find out later. he always said he didnt want anyone else but maybe he's just secretive. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 wow. i think you need to work on yourself more. you already had pics of your mom and uncle but not your sister. so why not save some of your sister? something is wrong here. you either don't trust him or you have some really deep scars of your sister. Link to comment
Maya_A Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Agree with Ghost... Again - some self work. You very well might sabotage the relationship with your fiance otherwise. If not over this issue, another one will present itself as long as you have certain inner feelings... Take good self care.... Link to comment
prettydeadroses Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 oh and i never saw where he saved any pictures i posted of me and my half sister. how come he didn't save hers or any of my dad that i posted and my dad died years go. how come he didn't save those. i've been moody with him all week. even though he said he just wanted some pictures of my family. it seems like it was just hers. Link to comment
prettydeadroses Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 okay i updated it on the first page i guess i should've posted it back here but i didnt know if anyone would go back this far. Link to comment
bronte Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 I understand why you're upset, but I think you need to let this go--no matter how many times you ask him, he's not going to say, "Yeah, I think your sister is a total hottie!" You're asking him about something that happened a YEAR ago and getting upset that he doesn't seem to remember all the details of what he was thinking at the time. I think his story seems inconsistent because he's trying to come up with something that will satisfy you when he doesn't really remember what happened. A single picture is not proof that he has feelings for your sister, and you've already let him know that it upset you--he should definitely think twice before saving any more pictures. You won't accomplish anything else by continuing to ask him about it, you'll just come accross as insecure and paranoid. You're going to marry this man, so I assume you think he's generally trustworthy--Give him the benefit of the doubt and move on! Link to comment
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