Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 about same man my previous (now deleted (by myself)) threads where about, for the people who already followed them In short: met a man from the internet about 3 weeks ago, we did foreplay, when he arrived home he directly appeared online and went camming with a friend (feminin) in other country and day after he left for two weeks. Before we met he was the one who took initiative and made lot of attempts to meet and loads of compliments and even about he wanted to be a couple and found me very attractive,.. he answered once last week at messenger by saying he was still at work and excuses not sure what to expect or what he could mean if he means something at all think I will give it some more time, I keep in mind it could also be his jetlag (which could take up to a week, I've heard) and busy with work Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 don't expect much. you don't know the guy that well yet. Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 thnx (can't stop thinking about him like whole the time Link to comment
D_Lish Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Not meaning to sound harsh here, but I'd forget about him and move on... He's not showing enough interest, that would make me want to stick around anyway. Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 ok thnx for sharing opinion and giving advice did you read the deleted thread(s) btw ? just wondering Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 i did. it seems to me like you got too emotionally involved in the first guy that came around. Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 also sounds confusing to me he didn't want real sex first meeting (he typed in advance, before we met) and he hasn't removed me or s'thing from messenger or reacted bad or anything like that Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 wish I know what it means how he acts and what his plans are Link to comment
D_Lish Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 No I didn't unfortunatley, just basing my opinion upon what you say here. I just think that if guys are 'really' interested in us, they make more of a an effort for us....online or offline. They will chat to us more, call us or text regularly on the phone, they would want to meet and would be arranging to meet us again... And he's not doing any of this... Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 and thanks for having followed the previous, sry eventually for the people especially who posted b/c it's deleted now but I did it b/c I thought I had enough at the opinions and advice I received and I don't like to give that much information about other person so hard to combine several threads so deleted it b/c it seemed less necesairy to me to keep it Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 No I didn't unfortunatley, just basing my opinion upon what you say here. I just think that if guys are 'really' interested in us, they make more of a an effort for us....online or offline. They will chat to us more, call us or text regularly on the phone, they would want to meet and would be arranging to meet us again... And he's not doing any of this... he did very much the about a month before we met (while I usually didn't react very enthousiastic and almost never took any initiative). And the trip he took day after meeting must have been planned before he could get opinion of me being in reality so shouldn't have anything to do with that. And I can understand he would be more busy week afterwards b/c even before he left he had a lot of visits of friends and visited them himself as well and more busy with work. And that combined with jetlag.. So that's why I decided to give it some more time. Also could be it pushed him bit away or more case that he decided to put things on a lower level now that I started taking so much initiative and having so much enthousiasm. He's also following islam. So we are having different cultures. Could bring a lot of differences and by knowing that there could be a lot of other reasons, I think. Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 so then I expect you might expect the same in my situation could play a role (but then more in the opposite direction (of gender) ) would be kind of great if it would be that or even if it's partly b/c of that Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 I didn't date anyone before who wasn't a friend of a friend either (except about 8 months ago, who became my sexbuddy) but that's not really same kind of date as in 'love' Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 Reason for me why I wasn't enthousiastic (or especially: why I didn't show it) before we met was b/c I had in mind it would be again a kind of player and that it would hurt me more if I 'take' the compliments as serious as they were sounding. And b/c of the thought he would change his mind after meeting b/c I have several (normally temporarily) health issues or maybe b/c of outside that would be less good than he would have expected too Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 For me I found it bit hard to trust especially when he just arrived and also b/c we did foreplay so when there aren't much other people in the building at that moment and door is closed and other is much stronger of course.. I mean, it's true that I can never know and have to be careful. I don't plan to let it happen again to meet directly at my room with someone I haven't met before and also not preferable that late in the evening. Everything went fine though but I won't recommend it of course. This time I thought by myself: I would take the 'risk' for only this time (he also called me when he already was in his car and we planned to meet that day) and I informed several people about it. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 he did very much the about a month before we met (while I usually didn't react very enthousiastic and almost never took any initiative). And the trip he took day after meeting must have been planned before he could get opinion of me being in reality so shouldn't have anything to do with that. And I can understand he would be more busy week afterwards b/c even before he left he had a lot of visits of friends and visited them himself as well and more busy with work. And that combined with jetlag.. So that's why I decided to give it some more time. Hon if they like you, they are never too busy for you. He sounds very busy in his real life yes, but if you were amongst his top priorities, he would find the time to call and if only to hear your voice....trust me. If you want to give it more time however, then do so.. Just don't call him....let him come to you and he will if he wants too. Also could be it pushed him bit away or more case that he decided to put things on a lower level now that I started taking so much initiative and having so much enthousiasm. Possibly I guess. This is how it tends to work...lol They chase you and you back off, you then chase them and they back off... However, they don't run very far and they make a point of coming back and soon, if there is a 'real' interest.... He's also following islam. So we are having different cultures. Could bring a lot of differences and by knowing that there could be a lot of other reasons, I think. Could be why he didn't have full sex with you. Goes against his religion. Depends upon how seriously he follows it... How old is he? Is he an Asian from Middle East, orignally? Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 We had camsex before. I already knew it's often a good thing to wait with anything that has to do with sex if it's planned to be a potential love/relationship partner but now we decided in advance and well he still had to drive this distance so probably not that logic to meet that often or without really doing something and we talked about a month online and had the camsex too. And well I saw it already as positive that he seemed to have enough at those camming a few times and just talking. And it was b/c I didn't react very enthousiastic that we didn't meet earlier. Otherwise it would probably have been restaurant. I also often prefer to live enough at the moment and to do what I feel like I think is good and to express what I mean instead of much waiting. Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 half tunesian about 37 if I'm not mistaken (or maybe few years younger) hmm.. foreskin was cut for example and he wants the same for his children not sure if not wanting sex at first meeting has to do with religion in this case, I was asking it myself as well. But he's also visiting clubs so think he doesn't follow it that strong. If I'm not mistaken they don't accept homosexuality and he's bisexual and had contacts I'm almost sure. Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 but maybe if it's true he's thinking about something serious with me it could be the reason of him wanting to wait with sex Link to comment
D_Lish Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 We had camsex before. I already knew it's often a good thing to wait with anything that has to do with sex if it's planned to be a potential love/relationship partner but now we decided in advance and well he still had to drive this distance so probably not that logic to meet that often or without really doing something and we talked about a month online and had the camsex too. And well I saw it already as positive that he seemed to have enough at those camming a few times and just talking. And it was b/c I didn't react very enthousiastic that we didn't meet earlier. Otherwise it would probably have been restaurant. I also often prefer to live enough at the moment and to do what I feel like I think is good and to express what I mean instead of much waiting. Cam sex is something I'd never consider and with a strange guy I didn't know. It is hard to tell what some guys may be after online, but a lot are looking for exactly what you gave him....and they will say anything and mostly the things that they think we want to hear, in order for them to 'lure' us in..... Guys will tell women all the time they are 'beautiful' and pay compliment after compliment.....have her believe his 'intentions' are serious ones in regard to her. While all the time he is saying this because he wants 'cam sex' or because he wants to meet for sex... I'd be suspicious of a guy I'd only just met online, paying me compliment after compliment and who seemed to be becoming way to serious about me and way too soon....and a guy who wanted cam sex! I think when guys want to do that, it isn't showing any respect for the woman.... Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 thnx for the reply and agree the camsex wasn't most perfect thing to do as one of the first things (in fact I expected it was a friend of a good friend of mine and that he knew my by him) Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 but it was not kind of dirty camsex, we just talked (typed) in the meantime and was kind of exploring each other and compliments Link to comment
D_Lish Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 half tunesian about 37 if I'm not mistaken (or maybe few years younger) hmm.. foreskin was cut for example and he wants the same for his children not sure if not wanting sex at first meeting has to do with religion in this case, I was asking it myself as well. But he's also visiting clubs so think he doesn't follow it that strong. If I'm not mistaken they don't accept homosexuality and he's bisexual and had contacts I'm almost sure. So he was born into Islam then. I have a Muslim male friend and from what he has told me, their lifestyle, beliefs and culture is very different to that of ours. My Muslim friend, isn't even allowed to have a girlfriend. He cannot date women, who are 'marriage material'. His parents are very strict, so much so that he can't even accept a phonecall from me, if his parents are around.... Their views regarding women are very different to ours.... You would have to adjust to his way of life, were you to become seriously involved with this guy and marry him......that is if his family would even accept you. Anyway Im babbling....lol Link to comment
Belgian girl Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 interesting to read about it, thnx Link to comment
D_Lish Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 but maybe if it's true he's thinking about something serious with me it could be the reason of him wanting to wait with sex Nah, I suspect it's more to do with his religion... They aren't supposed to have 'sexual relations', until married... Link to comment
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