so he's back (from trip to other country)

[Belgian girl]

so maybe I shouldn't start to him about sex again (until he gives signs he's into it)

aw, sounds kind of positive that he doesn't want sex with me yet, then

if you have more ideas for me about how I could make it more comfortable for him instead of his religion/culture it's welcome

his mother seems just belgium btw

[D_Lish]

interesting to read about it, thnx

 

You should look up and google further info on Islam and Muslims...

 

May help you get some more understanding, of this guy you have become involved with.

 

I know a bit because as I said I have a Muslim friend and he tells me things....lol.

 

Some pretty odd views, but I judge people as I find them and 'face to face'...not on whatever colour, background, culture, religion they come from....

[Belgian girl]

Neither do I I like to be open minded and often want to see things with my own eyes before judging I'm also open for other cultures etc.. I'm open for a lot but at least as long as I still can decide myself what I want and what not.

 

It's now that it remarks me that things we talked about and his reactions all had to do with other things than real sex. Asking myself if he maybe even doesn't take real sex at those partner clubs.

 

O.K., am going to search

[amipushy]

Honey, you can do better than an old bisexual a**head who cams someone else immediately after leaving you (and you know what he does on cam) and who doesn't even think enough of you to call you, whatever his religion.

[D_Lish]

Honey, you can do better than an old bisexual a**head who cams someone else immediately after leaving you (and you know what he does on cam) and who doesn't even think enough of you to call you, whatever his religion.

 

I just noticed that bit where she mentions he's 'bi sexual'....and when she said camming with a friend, I'd thought she meant 'camping' with a friend...

 

I think she could do better to.

[Belgian girl]

thnx for posting

I keep in mind he planned the trip before we met and he answered himself by telling he was going to cam with her

when I asked (a bit to laugh and to find out more) if he takes camsex with so many or what ( he answered only with me

and well, I give it more chance it could be just camming b/c he was having almost his flight

but it's true I should take enough care about not losing my self respect and keeping enough value on myself

also very possible and happened before that man seems to get scared a bit when they find out my situation since meeting up in reality, especially my health issues

[amipushy]

thnx for posting

I keep in mind he planned the trip before we met and he answered himself by telling he was going to cam with her

when I asked (a bit to laugh and to find out more) if he takes camsex with so many or what ( he answered only with me

and well, I give it more chance it could be just camming b/c he was having almost his flight

but it's true I should take enough care about not losing my self respect and keeping enough value on myself

also very possible and happened before that man seems to get scared a bit when they find out my situation since meeting up in reality, especially my health issues

 

I don't believe a word he says and neither should you, of course he cams others the way he does you, don't be naive, infact he couldn't even spend a day without doing it.

 

 

Listen, I'm being harsh for a reason, he worked hard with the flattery to get you but now he has had what he came for and now he has gone and the reason he hasn't come back if because he is afraid of you wanting more or being hurt by his rejection so he is staying away. And even if he does come back, it will because he needs his ego fix, not you.

 

Lots of us have been there and we think "Nooooo not me, not him, he wouldn't do that to me", but he will, he does and he has and all we can do is learn from it.

 

If he calls back don't answer.

[Belgian girl]

thnx

I'll keep it in mind and start thinking about it again

[Belgian girl]

Agree and am already sure he tells a lot of lies. In reality almost every sentence. But also not sure why he would even afterwards try to leave a good impression or where the whole thing of lying is about, I mean.. so many and some so clearly or that he can know I remark it..

[Batya33]

Good rule of thumb - if you're at the point of trying to measure interest from a man by 'well he didn't remove me from his instant messenger" you have your answer that he's just not into you. From your prior threads and skmming this thread sounds like he is bad news anyway.

[Belgian girl]

nice to hear from you as well

thing is he seems so attractive to me and it's like he reached my psychically inside by the things he said and the cuddling and gentleness and acting like he wants me so much.. and I'm not fully sure yet if even that are lies

[Batya33]

nice to hear from you as well

thing is he seems so attractive to me and it's like he reached my psychically inside by the things he said and the cuddling and gentleness and acting like he wants me so much.. and I'm not fully sure yet if even that are lies

 

That's called confusing lust and sex with sincere caring and sincere feelings for you as a person. You're ignoring all his other actions which not only are red flags but pretty clearly reflect an interest in getting inside you only sexually and not in any other way. If he was sincerely interested in getting to know you as a person he would call you and ask you out on a proper date in public he planned for the two of you in advance. He certainly wouldn't be camming another woman, trolling for sex on the internet and ignoring you as he is doing now.

[Belgian girl]

Thnx but think if I wait about a week longer it's higher reliable that it's like that b/c now there still are the factors 'jetlag', more busy with working and seeing people back, maybe confused about me reacting much more enthousiastic than before,.. and he didn't want real sex

[Belgian girl]

just read at a link posted at my latest thread that even if there are no visible wounds at the vagina it still could receive hiv if it gets in contact with infected fluid (without necesairily getting penetrated, I mean). Scared me a bit

[amipushy]

Generally after one sexual encounter men think differently about sex than women.

 

Women think "Now he's had me, he won't want anyone else." But men think "OK Now I've had what I wanted from her, who's next?!!"

 

If he does come back, it will be to finish the job he started and to go all the way. Treat this like a one night stand already and move on to someone who thinks more of you, and just be thankful you didnt go all the way with this guy.

[Batya33]

Thnx but think if I wait about a week longer it's higher reliable that it's like that b/c now there still are the factors 'jetlag', more busy with working and seeing people back, maybe confused about me reacting much more enthousiastic than before,.. and he didn't want real sex

 

Those are not factors that keep a person who is sincerely interested in another person from getting in touch and planning a date in advance -- i.e. even if he was jetlagged and busy it takes two minutes to call and make a plan for the following week. A person who is sincerely interested would never want to risk waiting a week, after being away for a week or more, to contact because the other person could get the impression of lack of sincere interest.

 

Have you considered seeking counseling given the harmful risks you are taking with your physical health (as well as emotional)?

[Belgian girl]

the counseling, you mean the problems I had before as well ? (like depressions, a lot of issues due to too much stress like total hairloss (alopecia areata), swollen gland at neck, slept 16-20 hours/24 hours during 2/3th year, life dangerous astma attacks during summer, most symptoms or all of them of chronic tiredness syndrome (c.v.s. but guess it's called bit different in english),..)

[Batya33]

the counseling, you mean the problems I had before as well ? (like depressions, a lot of issues due to too much stress like total hairloss (alopecia areata), swollen gland at neck, slept 16-20 hours/24 hours during 2/3th year, life dangerous astma attacks during summer, most symptoms or all of them of chronic tiredness syndrome (c.v.s. but guess it's called bit different in english),..)

 

That plus your self-destructive behavior in exposing yourself to STDs with strangers you meet on a sex site and then focusing on them to the degree you are as if you were actually dating the person or forming a relationship with the person.

[Belgian girl]

hmm.. other person btw said in advance he's dominating and guess I prefer to play a more submissive role (as long as it's to someone I like and stand behind and could work together with)

I stopped counseling, haven't found any good effect of it.

STD's I'm with almost everyone still very scared for but didn't swallow btw so think that time there won't have been much chance but agree I disliked it that he used same hand on me as the one he used long time at doing to himself (while I already told him before to try to avoid).

[amipushy]

So how many days has he been back and not called now?

[Belgian girl]

since last Friday I think so about a week

expect he's at his hometown b/c he goes every month

[Batya33]

There are no phones, e-mail or regular mail there for him to get in touch with you if he wants to?

[Belgian girl]

he has his mobile phone

messenger and profile sites he really doesn't use when he's in other countries, I think

[Belgian girl]

I just plan to keep on working at myself so I try to stop pulling out my hair, studying and housekeeping like usual, networking, trying to stay awake longer and longer so I can build my condition

 

I also keep in mind someone who says he's lightly bisexual could mean lightly towards woman. Luckily I almost prefer anal sex towards vaginal so maybe b/c of sex it won't be such a bad combi.

[amipushy]

Ugh, a pretty young woman like yourself trying to justify and excuse?

 

I think it's time you moved on and found someone worthy of you.