I hate people and social places

[BronzedSkin123]

I went out with my friend tonight and the same thing happened again. I get completely ignored by the opposite sex when she is around. It's official I hate people and I will continue to stay in my room all day long and never leave the house like I always do.

 

I thought going out would be a good idea from all the stress that I get from my parents but it was the worse idea that I could do. The waiter didn't even look me in the eye while he was talking to us, and then some young guys tried to hit on her. And then another guy. I feel so ugly and I wanted to leave immediately. I was very uncomfortable and was in a daze. When we left the restaurant I kept my head down the entire time because I figured there was no point in me keeping it up. It's not like any men wanted to talk to me or have anything to do with me

 

I know it's because she is lighter than me. I am going to search all over the internet to find something to make me white and beautiful that way men will notice me more. I feel like ripping the skin off of my body

[Seraphim]

It has nothing to do with the colour of your skin or because your friend is white or pretty or anything else. It is how you see yourself. Think positively about yourself and others will too. Believe me when we think that most people do not like us that is simply not true.People for the most part 99% not worried about what we look like but are concerned with their own looks. They are not looking at you to be critical, they are morely likely thinking of themself and how they look. I can guarnantee that.

[hers]

I'm sure a lot of it has to do with body language. I guarantee that the second you started feeling uncomfrotable there, people saw it. If onlookers didn't see it, then your friend probably did. No matter how much you try to hide it, yuou can always spot the uncomfortable one. Maybe that's why they didn't approach you? Maybe you looked unapproachable?

 

Have you considered approaching guys yourself instead of them approaching you?

[redhearts]

OR get friends who aren't super models. Because I bet your gorgeous but this girl is just probably a little barbie!

[BronzedSkin123]

OR get friends who aren't super models. Because I bet your gorgeous but this girl is just probably a little barbie!

 

 

This makes me want to start my car in the garage and just die

[redhearts]

Okay I'm sorry, how did that offend you?!! =[ Its so much better to be unique than look like a barbie, those kind of girls are everywhere and too fake in my opinion, but sorry!

 

Well what do you think is wrong with you and maybe we could help that way? You said your friend is lighter, so why not try to go on a bit of a diet if you feel that you want to be lighter? Do something instead of complain and feel sorry for yourself.

 

(didn't mean that in a bad way!)

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I'm sure a lot of it has to do with body language. I guarantee that the second you started feeling uncomfrotable there, people saw it. If onlookers didn't see it, then your friend probably did. No matter how much you try to hide it, yuou can always spot the uncomfortable one. Maybe that's why they didn't approach you? Maybe you looked unapproachable?

 

Have you considered approaching guys yourself instead of them approaching you?

 

 

I agree. Negativity and insecurity feeds on itself...the more you don't like yourself, the more that will come accross in social situations and you will be giving a "back off" vibe..if the waiter couldn't even look at you then there is clearly some vibe you are giving off.

[BronzedSkin123]

Okay I'm sorry, how did that offend you?!! =[ Its so much better to be unique than look like a barbie, those kind of girls are everywhere and too fake in my opinion, but sorry!

 

Well what do you think is wrong with you and maybe we could help that way? You said your friend is lighter, so why not try to go on a bit of a diet if you feel that you want to be lighter? Do something instead of complain and feel sorry for yourself.

 

(didn't mean that in a bad way!)

 

 

I'm the problem. I"m just not pretty enough, light enough or good enough for any man. I've wondered to myself why am I still alive since my existence is pretty useless. up until this point i haven't really had a real relationship and no luck with men. i feel like i shouldn't even be alive since i am weak and useless

[hers]

I'm the problem. I"m just not pretty enough, light enough or good enough for any man.

 

have you ever had a man tell you this? in these words?

[BronzedSkin123]

have you ever had a man tell you this? in these words?

 

 

no. but my dad and my brothers all think lightskin women are the most attractive. and i've heard black men speak so highly of getting a lighter complected woman that i really don't feel like much of a prize.

[hers]

no. but my dad and my brothers all think lightskin women are the most attractive. and i've heard black men speak so highly of getting a lighter complected woman that i really don't feel like much of a prize.

 

but you're not trying to date your dad or your brothers.

 

have you heard every black man in the world speak highly of lighter-skinned women?

[Karmageddon]

Well I can almost guarantee you that your problem probably has nothing to do with your looks and 100% to do with your attitude.

 

No one wants to talk to someone who is completely self defeated & negative. If you could brighten up your attitude you will probably see a huge difference, if not, it will just continue to be a self fulfilling prophecy.

[BronzedSkin123]

but you're not trying to date your dad or your brothers.

 

have you heard every black man in the world speak highly of lighter-skinned women?

 

No, I haven't heard every black man say that but I've heard enough of it to make an impact on me. It's gotten worse now. I just stay home all day in my room so I don't have to face the world. I am usually in a better state of mind until I go out with some friends and hear something or get overlooked by a guy..I fall into a depression like right now

[Godless_Heathen]

but my dad and my brothers all think lightskin women are the most attractive. and i've heard black men speak so highly of getting a lighter complected woman that i really don't feel like much of a prize.

 

I'd heard rumors that this was a common attitude, and I find it fascinating to get even anecdotal support for that. I can't imagine why.

 

I'm pasty-pink myself, and I've been told repeatedly that this is unattractive as well. The message has always been tan, tan, tan. Maybe it's a conspiracy that everyone is supposed to be the same mid-range color.

 

Regardless of your looks, confidence and charm probably have more to do with it than anything else. As others have said. If you like yourself and are self-assured, that comes accross without having to say a thing. Humans are highly evolved to spot that sort of thing from accross the room.

[Luke Skywalker]

You have to keep things in perspective and make sure you are not making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe it was just one or a few guys for example, or maybe your friend could have introduced you, or maybe it's just being blown out of proportion because of the rise you got out of all of it.

 

It's best to keep ways to make yourself objective, such as writing a diary and instances where this type of stuff is happening. It may not be as bad as you think.

[BronzedSkin123]

It is that bad. And I am so sick of this happening. I really don't plan on leaving the house or going to any more social events again. I'll just play my video games all day long like usual. I was fine until I left the house now I feel like killing myself again. I feel like if I were dead then I'd be a peace, no more stress or worries.

[Karmageddon]

I think you logically know that the color of your skin has nothing to do with how beautiful you are. Granted everyone has different tastes. My very good friend was a very very beautiful Japanese girl & she got plenty of attention when we went out. I would have guys come up to me...so they could find out about her...so I get what you are saying! But that is just a "type" & if I had sat there in a corner with my head down and got all p*ssy about it, no one would want to talk to me either. You are lacking in self confidence, thats all.

[BronzedSkin123]

Nobody wants to talk to me anyway. You know I hate being the one that is not as pretty. I hate how a guy will compliment one friend, and say nothing about the other (me), I felt humilated and ugly. I felt embarrassed and foolish to even go out today. I don't know what I was thinking. I wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there for the rest of my existence.I have so much anger and frustration pint up inside of me that I feel like slitting my wrists.

[Aver]

It must be really hard to feel that way. Your looks have nothing to do with who you are and other people's opinions of your looks shouldn't make you feel like anything less.

 

I have a bit of "ethnicity" in my blood (East Asian). In the summer my skin gets really dark and kind people describe me as "exotic". Pretty much I'm a mutt and it shows. I lived in an area of heavy Scandinavians, pretty much a poster town for the Aryan race. I felt extremely out of place and experienced similar treatment. My lovely blond-haired, blue eyed friend get hit on ALL constantly. At times I felt I should walk around and ask people if I just wasn't white enough. When I moved to a new city I made sure to hang out in the more socially diverse areas. This helped a lot and now when I go back to visit I'm proud of my unique appearance and grateful I don't have cookie-cutter looks.

 

Looks aren't the most important thing anyway. Do you really want a guy who is only interested in your body? Like others have said, it's all about attitude. People are really attracted to confidence and it's much more meaningful when someone likes you because of WHO you are and not what you'll look like on their arm.

[Karmageddon]

Nobody wants to talk to me anyway. You know I hate being the one that is not as pretty. I hate how a guy will compliment one friend, and say nothing about the other (me), I felt humilated and ugly. I felt embarrassed and foolish to even go out today. I don't know what I was thinking. I wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there for the rest of my existence.I have so much anger and frustration pint up inside of me that I feel like slitting my wrists.

 

If you want to slit your wrists b/c some guy you don't even know didn't say hello to you, then you have some problems that cannot be addressed here. That is far from normal and you should definitely look into seeing a professional and discussing this issue with them as well.

[BronzedSkin123]

Looks are important. That's what men look for when they seek a mate is a woman who is attractive. I just really don't care about men or dating. I'll live alone and not ever marry. My experiences have just made me want to hide myself from the rest of the world. I have never had luck with men at all, I don't think it will ever get any better. I am going to have to accept it no matter how hard it may be. I really regret leaving the house today, I truly do. I will never view myself in a positive light the same again.

[Aver]

Looks are important. That's what men look for when they seek a mate is a woman who is attractive.

 

Maybe their more important to you? What kind of man do you want?

 

All the decent men I've known would list qualities such as: confidence, intelligence, humor, interesting, exciting, well-rounded, open-minded, kind, loving, nurturing, independent. Actually, I've never known a nice guy who has said "Looks are the most important thing to me. I will only date an attractive woman."

 

Are you looking for a *donkey*hole who's going to treat you like a piece of meat?

[Karmageddon]

I will never view myself in a positive light the same again.

 

So really what you are saying is that you are only going to view the negative things people have to say as truth. Anything positive is a lie and thereforee discounted. And the fact that no one wants to take the time to chip through the walls of your big pity party, must mean it's because of your looks.

 

And if anyone should recommend that you actually see someone who can help you with this issue, they are systematically ignored b/c being happy doesn't really seem to be the ultimate goal.

 

I don't mean to sound harsh, but your attitude stinks & obviously everyone around you can see that & is probably just tired of dealing with you not trying. It's your choice to do something about it or not its your life. You wanna live in your room & play video games til your eyes fall out, go ahead Good luck to you sweetie.

[Ruede]

Hun, I have the same sort of problems... I wouldn't bring it down to my skin colour, but for some reason I'm just not physically attractive to the opposite sex the way a lot of my friends are. And I get very depressed over this sometimes... I'm a bit of an agoraphobe too. Sometimes I feel worse after going out than I do staying at home.

 

It seems that a lot of girls who put up an act (it's not even just the appearance of their skin or anything specifically physical for that matter) or girls that are 'high maintenance' in appearance get heaps of attention. I've been outright ignored by guys in front of some of my female friends who are like this.

 

Unfortunately, for people like you and me, it's a bit of a battle with ourselves to try to demand more attention. But seriously... take care of yourself first... and someone will come to you. This feeling of inadequacy, I learned, won't go away just by actually finding one boyfriend finally.

[DaBladeRoden]

I know how you feel, my best friend is my only option for a wingman, but I won't be able to get any ladies with him around since he's skinnier/more spontaneous/talkative than I am. So now I have to do it all alone, which makes me a creep.