sademma Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 hi, im new to this site but i could really use some help. ill try and fit what i ca into a fw lines but theres a lot there. basically my husband left me 2 weeks ago. im an absolute mess. we have been together for 12 years, married for 6 and have a 10 year old and 2 year old together. about 2 months ago he just started getting distant, then on the day he walked out we had actually booked a holiday, we are meant ot be on that holiday now. everything seemd fine. that evening i sent him a text before he left work just tellig him i loved him, he didnt reply but notmally does. thought it was odd so asked him when he came in why he didnt. he said it ddint feel right. then it came. he had been thinking about leaving on the way home. i know things hadnt been "right" for a couple of months, hes depressed over the death of his father 5 yers ago ( he never got counselling and NEEDED it) and he hates his job. but he upped and left that night, no amount of pleading or begging was stopping him. i KNOW ther eis noone else, and yes i have been told not to be so trusting but it was partly my lack of trust that drove him away. he never cheated on me but i always looked thru his emails and his phone and questiond him about silly things. things i read far too much into. he came and got some more stuff the following day and is now staying with his sister. he says he still loves me and we have had a turbulent couple of weeks, we have spoken everyday and he says he stll loves me. he says he still misses me. but when i asked him why he left he said he cant cause the kids anymore heartache, he thinks our daughter was damaged by arguments. we DID argue and yes, she saw more than she should have done but i dont know what happened to him. he said he is trying to save sammy from a lot of heartache but hes done more damage by walking out than staying. i did a stupid thing th eother day, he came here from work as we were all going to have a pizza together, he had ot go and pick our daughter up. while he was out i found his phone in his car and looked thru it. found some texts that were probably innocent but it was his best mates wife who i know has been a support to him, i phoned her husband and told him about the texts. it was only the ending i didnt like. it said "LOADS xxxx" obviosuly her hsband had a go at me and then told my husband what i had done. he was understandably VERY angry and ended up saying he fell out of love with me when he knew what i had done. i know it was stupid and i was very wrong to look but i had to know the answers. his reasons for leaving me were simply "im not happy, i dont know if anything can make me happy" "i just dont feel right in this marriage anymore, i cant be myself". i have asked him outright if he will ever come back to me and all he said was "i know at this moment in time i have made 100% the right decision". then yesterday we had a convo by text which ended with him saying "im sorry, i cant be more than your friend". then after i replied with "not ever? im happy knowing that you havent ruled us out altogether". to which he replied "i cant say what will happen in the future, but i cant let you wait around for something that might never happen. i didnt just stop loving you. the way i feel about everything has changed lately and regardless of whether or not i still love you its not fair to stay in a relationship that just doesnt feel right. i know its me thats changed and if i could wave a magic wand and make everythign right i would x" today i have realised that seeing him everyday wasnt doing me any good so i have told him i was busy all day so he didnt see the kids today. but we still conversed by text but i didint tell him i missed him or beg him back becuase his mum and everyone else told me to show how strong i can be. to prove i can do this and it may jolt him into thinking about things. i think hes very confused but today has been so hard. he even sent me atext saying whats going on, you are being very odd with me?. i really need some help. i dont know what to do. thank you for reading this far. xx:sad: Link to comment
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