how long do you wait to be official-is she using me-what is this , what is us, -my friend wrote this

[joe45]

i been going out with this girl like once a wk for 2 months approx we went out like around 12 times-movie, eat out, hang out, malls...etc i met off POF site. when i asked her to be bf/gf she told me "shes not sure, she doesn't now",and that her previous bf she knew him for one yr as just friend before she even committed with him-they were only bf/gf for a month though. how long would you as a guy or even a girl except some kind of committment -like after how many dates. i got a feeling it would have gone nowhere be it 2 months or 8 months . i don't want to keep on dating her and spending money and find out even after 1 month or even more that shes not even interested in being official. i want to be in a relationship. how long would you go for.

 

another thing is when we go to movie, eat out, i been paying the first couple of x's but a couple of x's i was little short on money and jsut paid my part for the dessert, i ordered my ice cream , and waited for her to buy her own ice cream. from what i observerved on her face-a frown-this frowned face happened right after she notice that i didn;t pay for her dessert. well i did pay for her dinner. i thought it would be nice if she just pay for my dessert too,but oh well i didn't except it. this happen a couple of x's.

 

another time we went to eat out i told her "i'll pay for the dinner and you pay for the tip", i paid for the 25 dollar meal and she put in 1 dollar tip. huh i thought that was cheap though. i didn't say anything. not once did she offer to pay or worst of all, she didn;t even say "thank you".

well i'm a easy going kind of guy,but who wants to be used right, if she doesn;t want to committ or be in a relationship then she should tell me upfront.

 

oh ya and how do you get the girl to offer to pay up sometimes or go 50/50 or do you u just tell them straight up

"hey i paid this time and next time you pay" somehting liek that

[LittleInuit]

Uhm, well first off, she seems a bit rude. If she doesn't treat you right, don't wait for her. You deserve better. The main reason for post a reply is for the paying thing. I've been going out with my boyfriend for over a year now. I don't like that he pays all the time, and sometimes he is short on cash. This is what we do, and maybe it could help. If we see a movie and then get dinner, we usually split it when he doesn't have much money like, " Hey, I'll pay for the movie if you pay for dinner?" Or something like that. Well, I'm not easy to please so I don't mind paying. With todays prices on everything, its hard for the guy to pay for everything now. Hoped I helped

[bijoux27]

Seems like it's a good thing she's not your gf-she doesn't even say "thank you"??

[DN]

Sounds to me like she's using you.

[civilservant]

Sounds like she cares about your wallet more than you, as for waiting a year before giving a commitment, thats a little crazy.

 

I'd be putting it down to experiance and moving on.

[fastball2113]

sounds like a if you ask me. dont pay for her, if shes not your gf then she can pay for herself

[joe45]

after how many dates should i start telling her or any girl the mutual acceptance,

example-i pay for the movie and pop corn and you pay for dinner or vice versa or even the dutch thing.

 

i mean after 2 dates, after 3, . i figure she would at lteast offer to pay like after the 2nd date , i mean i'm not rich at all. i mean i still trying to save up for school if i have to , to get a better job and also a car.

 

after how many dates should u start expecting the girl to start offering to pay or even say "hey let me pay this time", you paid last time"

[sweetooth]

I'm a pretty fair person. If my date buys me dinner, I'll buy icecream, etc. after a date or two. But what provoked me to respond to this thread was your deal on you buying dinner and you making her pay tip--I find THAT cheap. That actually happened to me last week AFTER I paid for admission tickets and drove and then he was the one who suggested dinner (we were supposed to be going to someone's house later but it turneds out it was 7:30 not 6....Yeah thanks for updating me). I felt like I was the "guy" to be honest. Since he did that I dropped him. But anyway, this girl IS rude! Not even a thank you? I would move on.

 

As for asking her to do mutual acceptance...I'm not really sure how to go about that while dating a new person....

[star2008]

It looks like you're in a 'friends with benefits' situation except the benefits are financial and she's the only one getting them. Stop spending money on her. 12 dates is way too long to pay for someone without getting anything back in return. Does she ever ask you out? Or are you the only one ever asking?