Purple1 Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 My blog excerpt! I’m writing this post to help anyone going through a breakup no matter what stage you are in. I’m not trying to sound like I know it all….I’m not saying your circumstances aren’t different to mine. But I’ve pretty much got over a 6 ½ year relationship in approx 9 months. I still have scars but they have just about healed. It was hard. It took time. I feel like I owe this forum my thoughts on the subject because it helped me soooo much! I know in the beginning it hurts so bad you feel like you can’t breathe. You can’t imagine life without your ex. You cry, you call them and try to plead with them (or you may be stronger than I was and don’t!) You feel like you will never find anyone else to replace them. No matter what problems you had. You miss the conversations and you feel like you’ve lost your best friend in the whole world. What do you do now?? Well I can promise you all… it will get better day by day. Some days you may feel worse than others. You may feel like you take one step forward and then one step back even after months of being apart. But still…. It will get better! One of the most important things I’ve learned through this breakup experience (my first love, or love of my life!) is you have to think positive no matter what your brain is telling you to think! Everytime you have a negative thought… cancel it out with a positive. It might not work right away… eventually it will! Write a diary. In that diary go through all your feelings. As often as you can. Put aside two pages of your diary and in one write a list of all the things you miss about your ex. On the other page write down all the things that annoyed you about them (and be honest here! Was he crap in bed? Did he have smelly feet?? Write em all down!) On your bad days re read it! When you feel better stop writing the diary about him/her and start a new one… about your new life! NC is absolutely compulsory! I was forced into it thankfully! It helped me sooo much! My ex did not contact me at all… in fact still hasn’t but I couldn’t care less now! My ex didn’t just leave me… he left the city… the county and even the country (hence the forced NC bit!) But, this was the best thing that could have happened! If you are really struggling…. Seek therapy! If you can’t afford it… buy a self help book… I highly recommend It’s called a breakup because it’s broken…. Then “he’s just not that into you” Don’t sit on your butt all day pining! Okay It’s fine in the beginning… sulk as you need but eventually you will have to get it together. I highly recommend doing something new and exciting! Even if you can’t think of something you’d like to do… just pick something randomly! Try and do something that frightens you every day! This could be anything from trying your mum’s cooking to skydiving! I also recommend cosmic ordering, if you don’t know what it is then google it! Go on dates… but don’t be a serial dater. You may find yourself comparing them to your ex too much. If this happens take a step back. Re-bounds are good with the right person. Personally my rebound was lovely to me but now when I realise how much I didn’t fancy him I feel a bit sick about sleeping with him… but hey whatever helps right! Eventually… it might not take as long as you think… you’ll get your confidence back and realise that your ex…. Is really your ex and not someone you would consider dating EVER again! The key is to keep the right mentality. You’ve got to tell yourself that you WILL get through it. You WILL get over them! One of my fears was that I would always wonder what if? What if I hadn’t of done this and we still were together? Why did I treat him like that when I could have done this?? I forced myself to stop thinking this way. And hey 9 months down the line… I know that the right decision was made for us to break up! In fact not only am I happy we broke up. I am completely content on my own. I love my own company and, I don’t need anyone else. I don’t care if I end up being the old woman with lots of cats so long as I’ve followed my goals in life. And to top it all off I’ve just got my skydiving licence today! Link to comment
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