matman Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Men will only be friends with a girl if: (a) they are interested and want some future hook up / relationship (b) have already had some sort of hook up © have already kissed the girl Discuss Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 A & B.. are the ones i have come accross.. personal experince.. I find it hard to be friends with girls that i am attracted to.... few times in high school i was friends with girls that i wasnt attracted too.. and we just didnt have much in common i am more of an alpha male.. but it was good because those girls always had friends that would hook you up because the already knew you.... I think if you can be friends with a girl.. that your attracted or not.. it gives lots of oppurtunities at her friends... Link to comment
SupaflyTNT Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Mean will only be friends with a girl if: (a) they are interested and want some future hook up / relationship (b) have already had some sort of hook up © have already kissed the girl Discuss Or are not attracted to the girl but met the girl through work or some other function with mutual friends. I wholeheartedly agree with this. I think they hope b and c lead into a, by the way. Link to comment
Superfreak Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 No, not at all. I'm not carrying a torch for any of the female friends I hang out with on a regular basis. If I do have a female friend I'm attracted to, it's usually more of a "I'd have sex with her if the opportunity came up, but I'm not interested in seriously dating her". Secretly crushing on female friends is something I gave up when I graduated highschool. Link to comment
matman Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 No, not at all. I'm not carrying a torch for any of the female friends I hang out with on a regular basis. If I do have a female friend I'm attracted to, it's usually more of a "I'd have sex with her if the opportunity came up, but I'm not interested in seriously dating her". Secretly crushing on female friends is something I gave up when I graduated highschool. "If I do have a female friend I'm attracted to, it's usually more of a "I'd have sex with her if the opportunity came up" That's not friendship. You have just stated you have another, albeit hidden, interest. Have you been with any of your female friends? Link to comment
bobwoddle Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I think C should actually be: C) Are hoping the girl will introduce him to other girls that he might be able to hook up with. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Men will only be friends with a girl if: (a) they are interested and want some future hook up / relationship (b) have already had some sort of hook up © have already kissed the girl You forgot option D... I have a female friend that does not fall under a thru c. We are friends because we both work together and play online games. Link to comment
matman Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 You forgot option D... I have a female friend that does not fall under a thru c. We are friends because we both work together and play online games. If she came onto you would you go for it? Link to comment
Superfreak Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 "If I do have a female friend I'm attracted to, it's usually more of a "I'd have sex with her if the opportunity came up" That's not friendship. You have just stated you have another, albeit hidden, interest. Have you been with any of your female friends? How is it not friendship? I'm not secretely plotting to have sex with any of them. When I said that I meant that they're attractive enough for me to not be repulsed by the thought of having sex with them, meaning that I could see myself having sex with them the way I could with any other attractive woman that offered no strings attached sex. The few female friends I do think are attractive also are never my close female friends I see regularely, rather they're the type that maybe I chat to only once in a while. I've never been with any of my female friends because I prefer to date women outside my social circle. Link to comment
melrich Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 men are only friends with girls because... Men will only be friends with a girl if: (a) they are interested and want some future hook up / relationship (b) have already had some sort of hook up © have already kissed the girl If you change "men" to "boys" you might be a little bit closer to a passable generalisation. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 If she came onto you would you go for it? Nope. I don't have any feelings for her like that at all. Not that she isn't good looking or anything but we are strictly friends. It would be to weird for me, kinda like a sister coming on to me. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 If you change "men" to "boys" you might be a little bit closer to a passable generalisation. I agree with Melrich. This topic hits a bit close to home because I just had to end what I thought was a friendship and it turned out the guy was just trying to get into my pants. Sad, but it happens. I just wish they wouldn't lead you on about it. Link to comment
WaterIsLife Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Men will only be friends with a girl if: (a) they are interested and want some future hook up / relationship (b) have already had some sort of hook up © have already kissed the girl Discuss Nope. Don't get me wrong, its natural to want to know someone better that you are interested in, but I don't see how (or why) that sort of interest would be the only reason to be friends. At the moment the friends that I hang out with most are females, and I'm not looking to hook up with any of them. If you change "men" to "boys" you might be a little bit closer to a passable generalisation. Agreed. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 If you change "men" to "boys" you might be a little bit closer to a passable generalisation. Nice one! I agree. Link to comment
SupaflyTNT Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I'm sure no woman has ever been friends with a man she was secretly interested in and wanted more from. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I'm sure no woman has ever been friends with a man she was secretly interested in and wanted more from. I'm your exception then. Link to comment
Imprecision Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 People who believe this obviously never had loyal female friends. Which leads me to doubt their capacity for loyal friendship in general. I do have female friends who are attractive, but I would never have sex with them even if I could, (nor am I tempted to have sex with them). Clear empirical evidence defeating the hypothesis. Link to comment
bingfei Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 yes,it seems right,but just sometimes Link to comment
Crush85 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I'm friendly with girls, but I don't hang out with them outside of the school or work setting. That's it. Link to comment
Lamprey Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Actually, a *very* good friend of mine is female. However, we did use to date back in HS, never slept together but over the years she's gained more & more weight which made it easier to be friends. Bottom line is, it's hard to be friends with someone you're attracted to. It's just human nature. This is why friendship with an ugly girl is the best, if you're not attracted to her you can hang out with her for who she is. She will give you the female perspective, hook you up with her friends, etc. - all the benefits with none of the hardships. As far as true friendship with an attractive girl: not going to work. If you're both good looking you'll eventually hook up. Disclaimer: if she's hot and you're ugly it might work since you won't hook up, but do you really want to torture yourself so? Link to comment
nicky8989 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I'm friendly with girls, but I don't hang out with them outside of the school or work setting. That's it. thats what my boyfriend and brother say about most girls..esp my bro if hes dating someone. i believe it to an extent. it seems boys/men always have an ulterior motive Link to comment
Imprecision Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Apart what I wrote before about loyal friendship (and the inability of some people to appreciate it) - not all guys are desperate. Just because a girl is attractive doesn't mean I automatically want to have sex with her. If she's a good friend, sex won't even cross my mind, because she would be like my sister. When you guys say, "I can't possibly be friends with an attractive girl," you're shooting yourself in the foot. Basically you're saying you would have sex with anything as long as it looks good. How stupid a.ss is that? How about giving yourself some credit? Actually, the whole hypothesis is incredibly mysogynist, since you're saying that you can never see any value in women apart from sex. Seems funny I'm defending women now. But that's the truth. In conclusion, only two types of people can believe in the hypothesis: a. Desperate. Desperate guys cannot have true friendship with women. For them, sex always comes first. b. Slavish. Here, "slavish" refers to the inability to appreciate human comradery. A slavish person only ever looks out for himself. He cannot have true friends, much less true women friends. He is loyal to no one. Of course, since he doesn't understand loyalty, he can't believe loyalty to exist in anyone else. (If you believe that male/female interaction is always sexual, then how can any spouse remain loyal? Even greeting mailman in the morning requires strenuous discipline in resisting lust.) Maybe some women will back me up on this. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 i'm not friends with any of those. i either try with the girl or move on. the only female friends i have i don't want any extracurricular activities with. Link to comment
Girl79 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I have lots of guy friends, mainly because I have a motorcycle and more men than women ride bikes, so I have established friendships with guys through riding. BUT my bf seems to think that they all secretly want to get in my pants. It's always an argument with us, he thinks that if I gave any of them the opportunity, they'd jump on it in a minute, thereforeee they really aren't my "friends". It pisses me off. I guess it's because I DON'T think of them as ANYTHING but friends, but apparently men think the opposite. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I have lots of guy friends, mainly because I have a motorcycle and more men than women ride bikes, so I have established friendships with guys through riding. BUT my bf seems to think that they all secretly want to get in my pants. It's always an argument with us, he thinks that if I gave any of them the opportunity, they'd jump on it in a minute, thereforeee they really aren't my "friends". It pisses me off. I guess it's because I DON'T think of them as ANYTHING but friends, but apparently men think the opposite. some women don't see that guys around them actually do want them. guys can pick up on it. but it sounds like he doesn't trust you a bit. why would you give them the opportunity? Link to comment
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