that rotten icky hurt feeling

[prettyhate]

has been hanging around for a week or so now and i feel ROTTEN

its like dread/hurt/ache all clinging i keep running and exercising

i saw him on the weekend when i was out running and i just feel BLAH

i am stil in his headspace ppl tell me to move but why should i give up the beach adn cheap rent

i am sick of sacrificing what i love and enjoy i feel really worried about money adn the future and just anxiety central.

i feel a bit out of hand today. i am at work now trying to be ok but i am not.

i feel dreadful. teary and distraught i have counselling tonight so thats good but i just feel DISASTEROUSLY messy.

this is not fair. he has added a guy i used to like years ago and they are in sorta the same surfing circles

on facebook its just... i am in a real slump today

i have a party in 2 weeks and he will be there and i gotta go for my housemate

but i just want to show them all i am OK and functioning no matter how hard it is i keep thinking how can he NOT care.

[arwen]

Hey pretty,

 

Sorry things are so hard on you. What do you mean by sacrificing what your love? My first (practical) advise is to NOT keep track of his facebook. Him adding people or the things that are written on his wall, all are not helping you in moving on. You are doing things to move on- working out and focusing on work are important things in this process. But keep in mind that you do those things for you. Not to impress him or give him ideas. If you are moving on, it doesn't matter if he is a witness of that. All that matters is that you are starting the new chapter in life that is without him.

 

Things will get better.