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Its breaking us up..


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I was sexually abused as a child for three years by two relatives, my boyfriend knows of it but he doesnt kno what happened exactly. My boyfriend and i have been together two and a half years, and are in love. We have been having sex for a year and lost our virginity to eachother. When we first began having sex we did it about five times a day, and i wanted it, but after about 3 months my interest in sex disappeared and we only had it bout once every week. Now one year and six months on, we only have sex once every three months, as i have completely lost my sex drive. Also i have noticed that i am very sensitive to men staring, even my dad. My abused filled past doesnt make me upset but i know its affecting my sex life. I dont want to be in a sex less relationship.Although my boyfriends understanding, he doesnt deserve to have a girlfriend like this. Sometimes when me and my boyfriend are in bed he may touch me, on the arm or in between my legs, and if i dont want him to at that second i get so angry and shout at him, its tearing us apart.

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Sounds like you are having a bout of post traumatic stress...and things long-buried from the past are re-surfacing and affecting your relationship. Don't let the people who hurt you in the past keep affecting you...this will not go away. Even if you figure out how to re-bury it again...it comes back unpredictably so...and usually even more vividly. Get some help. Find a professional to talk to. You need to get this out so that you can enjoy your life. Empowering yourself will take the power away that those people took from you as a kid. You can do it ! Take care.

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You definitely need psychiatric help. Most people can't deal with something like this themselves, and do need guidance. In any case, you'll keep breaking down relationships in your life until you do resolve this.

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"Although my boyfriends understanding, he doesnt deserve to have a girlfriend like this."


Please, don't think like that. It's just hurting the two of you.

What I think you need to do is see some sort of a therapist for your age-bracket. Even ask if you can bring your BF in on a few sessions.

Also, I think you need to be very open about what you're feeling.

It seems like you have low self-esteem and are depressed, so that could account for the loss of libido.

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Thanks everyone


I was looking on the internet this morning for advice and solutions to this problem, and i found this website and signed up, you have all been very helpful, thank you xxx.

I have been seeing a phsycologist for about 2 years, but not because of this, because i was adopted. I havent been for a session for a year, and my phsycologist doesnt know about the abuse. I have an appointment for wednesday, and i am going to try and talk about it, really not looking 4ward to it x

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