Could it be his? Long, but please help

[tabbycat41]

My boyfriend dated this girl for about a month, right before he met me. (End of July). The last day he could have possibly had sex with her was on day 8 of her cycle, and he thinks it was a day or two before that. He also thinks they used a condom, since it was so right after her period, he didn't want any icky stuff on him.

 

He broke up with her and met me. A month later, she tells him she's pregnant and that's it's some other guy's. Then she changes her mind and says well it COULD be yours.

 

I'm pretty sure a week after your period starts is not ideal time for most people to get pregnant. And around the time in her cycle where most people would ovulate she was with this other guy and having sex with him. i don't know if condoms were used. this is the guy she first claimed to be the father.

 

for the next 9 months she totally screwed with my bf's head because she wanted to be with him and he didn't want to be with her. she told him she was sure the baby was his and was trying to weasel her way back into his life. meanwhile i talked to the other guy she was with. he told me she told him she was 95% the baby was his (the other guy) but didn't want to be with him. he said he had a feeling the baby was indeed his.

 

she then ended up getting together with this guy and they were suddenly so in love. he was taking responsibility for the fatherhood and was going to get a paternity test and let us know the results. meanwhile she is still telling my bf the baby is yours but your not going to have anything to do with it this other guy will raise it.

 

the average conception date for the due date she was given was more than a week after her and my bf were last together. the baby was born a week after the due date.

 

this other guy is proudly acting like the father and his whole family has embraced the baby. he decided not to do a paternity test because he felt sure the baby was his and decided he didn't care if the baby wasn't.

 

i just want to know... how possible is it to be my boyfriends? we just don't want her to show up a few years from now and say surprise u have another kid! especially since we are thinking of having one of our own.

 

i am not sure what the cycles of this girl were like but she was very very thin prior to getting pregnant. the due date she was given was based on a 28 day cycle and she gave birth a week after that due date.

[greywolf]

It is possible, but maybe not very likely. Girls have been known to get pregnant while on their period.

[tabbycat41]

i should also add that she has not contacted or spoken to my bf since the baby was born. logic is telling me it can't be his but i want to hear what everyone else thinks

[BeStrongBeHappy]

It sounds like odds are good it is not his baby, BUT sperm can live sometimes for up to 5 days. So her date of conception could be up to 5 days after they have sex.

 

The only way really to know is a paternity test. Your boyfriend could demand one, but then if the answer is yes, he could also be ordered to pay child support.

 

And legally, she can go after him for child support up until the child is 18. There is no retroactive child support (i.e., she would only be entitled to child support from the time she took him to court and proved paternity).

 

It really looks like she was angling for SOMEBODY to play father to her baby, and if she has someone, she may leave your boyfriend alone (assuming the guy stays with her). But no way to ensure she won't come after him later, but it very well might not be his child anyway.

[tabbycat41]

We both don't really think it is his. She didn't want the break up in the first place, and we think she was just trying to convince him it was because she wanted it to be. He has caught her in a lot of lies over the time he has known her, and she told him she wasn't attracted to the other guy, and didn't like him, blah blah. Part of the reason we think she's lying is because she said "It's yours. I know it's yours." After she initially told her there's no way it could be, and she had sex with this other guy a lot closer to the estimated conception date. It was on a weekend, and spent that entire weekend with him, and they were both drunk all weekend.

 

The other guy signed the birth certificate and gave the baby his last name. She told everyone from the start that the other guy was the father, and she told him she was 95% sure it was his.

[tabbycat41]

And also from what I hear sperm can only live up to 5 days in optimal conditions like the fluid she would have if she was ovulating. not fluid she'd have if she just ended her period. from what im finding it sounds like the sperm only live a day or two

[Aleadragonhawk]

Tabbycat, anything other than a paternity test is going to be speculation. The only way you can know for sure if this baby is his is by having a DNA test run. Nothing else can tell you for 100% that it's not his child.

[Hope75]

Actually the perfect 28 day cycle with ovulation on day 14 is mostly a myth. Some women ovulate on an earlier cycle day (even right after their period is possible) and others ovulate later on. And yes, sperm can live up to 5 days in the body.

 

If your boyfriend had unprotected sex with her at any time it is possible he is the father and he should have a paternity test done.

 

Also, it's concerning that he was having unprotected sex with someone who slept so quickly unprotected with someone else. Has he been tested for STI's? Have you?

[TheSmilingTurnip]

If she is not coming to him for child support or otherwise intruding on your lives, I would try to put this behind me. If the day comes when she asks for child support or something, then you can always get the paternity testing done. It sounds like the child is not his.

[ImThatGirl]

It could be possible.

 

What are you and your boyfriends intentions specifically.

 

I think it would be in his best interest to have a dna test done rather than sitting back wondering if he has a child out there.

 

As far as child support / legalities go... I had a guy friend who was in this situation years ago. The girl told him the baby was not his. Married another guy and had the guy sign the birth cert. Five years later, guy who married her and she got a divorce. She went after my friend requesting dna test and child support. He is the father. He's lost so many years with his daughter, has to pay child support, and doesn't get regular visitation because there's no bond with his daughter (and I suspect because of lack of effort on his part.)