helping a brother...

[soul_soother]

So I won't make this long, background:

 

My older brother (now 20) was quite the outcast in school, tried to commit suicide, and wasn't to favored by the ladies. He dropped out his sophomore year and began to play World of Warcraft, for 2 years straight while running off my parents house. He went to a "military academy" for a couple months and received his GED. Then went back in a 8 month long, playing WoW off my parents house. He now finally at the ripe age of 20 decided to move out and get a job During highschool he managed to find a girl once every 2 years or so that had the image in their head that he was existed.

 

The problem is he tends to scare these girls off by being like a 16 year old school girl who's obsessive. He pretty much acts like they've been married and just is extremely extremely clingy by the end of one day. As in I wouldn't be surprised if he bought you a house and asked for kids on the second date, kind of creepy. He just jumps the gun in every single aspect of women..

 

Well he meet a girl who is 23 who plays WoW more then he does, and fell head over heels for her (she doesn't live here, somewhere on East Coast) and directly they are dating now. He bought her a ONE WAY ticket for her to come live here after some like month or so, and she agreed to it. Well right before she was suppose to come here, she decided she was way too scared about this idea, so now he bought a ticket to go see her for a week.

 

I've tried talking to him about not being so damn clingy and not being so, gosh possibly girly. He talks to her on the phone and he over does everything "Baby, but baby I just thought my babe would miss her baby ya know baby?" thats honestly what it is like listening to. Anyway he's staying there for a week any pointers on key things I can tell him... I don't want him to scare this one away because, I fear it will add to the denying pool of depthness inside his heart, and possibly try to commit suicide again.

[Carmine]

Being someone who once spent over 12 hours a day playing computer games, I say that your brother NEEDS to get away from it, no matter how painful it might be for him. His situation is far more drastic than mine since this all happened when I was 15 and I stayed in school. He's an adult but he's not acting like one. Before he can be in a relationship, he needs to work on himself a lot. I can't give you any suggestions about what to say to him about this girl, because quite frankly I don't think that'll solve anything even if this girl will accept your brother for who he is.

 

Your brother needs to find other things to do away from the computer. The first thing I did once I tore myself away from my pc games was workout. Working out is a GREAT way to build self-esteem. The more you do it, the better you feel mentally and physically. When I started working out, I saw goals that I deemed impossible suddenly become feasible. I realized that I actually had value.

 

Your brother needs hobbies. but the thing is you can't force anything on him. He needs to find something he's interested in on his own and decide by his own will that he'll pursue it. When I was younger, people tried to force hobbies and interests on me, and it ended up just pushing me away further. Does your brother like music? If so, I greatly suggest he takes up a musical instrument. Music is the other thing that really broke me away from the life of a social hermit.

 

Your brother needs to go through a lot of self-improvement if he wants a better life. The hardest part is motivating him to do it, but if he has the smallest spark of will and the smallest desire to achieve something, he CAN act on it.

[Supa_gurl]

WAW....is what I play! Wives Against WoW...(my husband has gotten a little better)

 

As for your brother. It seems that is just the way he is made. He needs to make his own mistakes and learn from them. The only thing you can do is be there for him to pick up the pieces if things don't work out. He may need medication to help deal with his depressive nature, but he will need to cross that bridge when he comes to it. As his sibling I say just be there for him. And that is the best advice I can offer.

[soul_soother]

WAW lol that is great.. haha, anyway my brother was on medication for a while and thats what caused him to try to commit suicide. I've told him before "I know your going down there for just a little bit but remember, too much may ruin it".. I'm not sure I just know he can't take a rejection like this because he's been telling people he's "never felt this way" and "fell head over heels for her " ... Who knows?