i want to sleep

[EmptySoul]

hey everyone. i wrote this sometime last year, when i was really depressed. i still get depressed, but never this bad anymore. the point of me posting this is that hopefully, this will help anyone else who feels like this know that they are not the only one. thanks in advance.

 

I feel like my life has been going on forever, when everyone elses is just beginning. My world and everything in it seem more suffocating every day. Sometimes I just want someone to be there for me and make me feel okay, but the person in view is constantly changing and they never stay. I'm tired of this life, but there's too many things I love in it that I can't seem to make myself leave.

I seem to live on others' love for me and when it doesn't come I feel myself slowly sinking into a place that is becoming more and more familiar. I no longer know what I want or need, so I just blindly sit and wait for someone to notice that I'm dying without whatever it is that I'm looking for.

I look at everything I've ever done and I see no future. Some part of me refuses to change, no matter what I try to do. I seem to be destined to make the same mistakes over and over, as something in me suffocates the slightest breath of hope.

I look in the mirror every day and wonder what it is that makes people love me. Nobody knows me. Who is it they love? I see the true me, and then I'm afraid because I wonder if everyone can see right through my false confidence and compassion.

I don't know who I am and I hate who I'm pretending to be. The world just keeps spinning while I sit here all alone. I just wish I had the nerve to leave all that I love behind and go to sleep. Or at least do something to change it all. I wish I could just sleep for a while...... I hope my dreams are good.

 

*I don't like to dream...it hurts too bad when I wake up and have to compare reality to what I thought was real*

[neva_black_n_white]

i believe that dreams, are things that we allow ourselves to believe and as we gain experiance of life, we allow our minds to trick us, as its no longer fictional in what we dream off but what we truelly desire. i know the same feelings. as people see only but the false you. your poetry if that is what youve labelled it, was very inspirational. im glad you have become somewhat better in these beliefs and yet sorry that you still partcially have them.

 

to want to sleep is something that i believe a lot of us have gone through, for at this period of time, even though possibly not with another, i personally have yet to feel alone.

 

i wish that we could all gain what we deserve, the right to be ourselves, express ourselves, gain from each others thoughts yet supply our own.

 

you have got talent in the way you write, and it expresses how you feel a great deal. im glad that you shared that as it made and is still making me think about issues that i need to change in my life.

 

i wish you well and that you grow even further in the sense that you feel better with the world. everyone always told me, that despite me feeling alone, i was loved, it just wasnt said yet given off by what was done, and strong enough to be felt. at least thats why is stick around lol.

 

kel

have a great year ahead, and let it bring a lighter time and peace.