Rabican Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Quick question. My fiance is pregnant and her first doctor appt is tomorrow. Shes almost 4 months along and just now getting her first doctor visit (medicaid took forever to come through) So Im hoping all goes well. Im going with her tomorrow because its the first visit. Ill miss part of a days work, which In itself I dont mind but we really need the money. She has a lot of debt, and I dont make great money, decent... but it could be better. So things are gonna be tight when shes not working. She wants me to go to all of her Dr visits (Im not sure how often she will have to go) but I told her that I cant really afford to miss a lot of work. Am I being a Jerk if I skip out on a routine checkup once a month, or however often she has to go? *note, I count on overtime on my checks as part of my monthly budget. So if I miss a half a day it ends up costing me basically time and a half which I can Ill afford to lose. Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 See if you guys can scedule her doctors visits on your days off. Surely the doctor will allow you to schedule the visits in advance? Link to comment
Stars_n_Guitars Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 You should try to go to every one, if you can make it then see if you can go to the ones that you know they will be doing sonograms on! this is an important part of your lives, you may regret missing it later in life! better to go, miss work, than to not go and miss life! Link to comment
Mindy1607307824 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Go with her. No question. Link to comment
Angel_baby Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 It isn't necessary to have to go to EVERY one. Just be sure to go to the important ones. On a routine check up all they do every time is check the mothers vitals, the baby's heartbeat, the mother has an urine test done and the belly is measured. First one you should go to. Ultrasound you should go to. 8-9 month term appts you should try to make because the mother starts having difficulty doing things then. Edited to add, I have had a child and I didn't find it important for my husband to go to every visit Link to comment
Rabican Posted June 13, 2008 Author Share Posted June 13, 2008 See if you guys can scedule her doctors visits on your days off. Surely the doctor will allow you to schedule the visits in advance? I work mon-fri 10-6 and usually on saturdays (thats my overtime day) So thats not really possible. Link to comment
arwen Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Hey Rabican! Did I know you and your fiancee were expecting? I think not! A belated congrats! Go with her to the important appointments and schedule them either at the end or at the early beginning of a day to minimize the hours. If you don't earn that much, it won't be that much lost money either and some things are invaluable (like the support she needs right now). Link to comment
Hayles Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Doctors can be really sympathetic to your need to work - and her need for you to be there! You sound like a great guy, the fact that you are here, even asking, shows you care and you are torn on this. Have you talked to her about it all? It can be a scary time being pregnant for some women, and she probably just needs to know you are as excited and nervous as she is... Maybe you could be creative - if you can't manage to schedule things to suit better - make sure you pop by a shop in your lunch break or after work and arrive home with something for the baby on that day! Link to comment
Mlost Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Go with her. No question. That's not a reality mindset. If they're struggling for cash right now then there will have to be some sacrifices. He doesn't need to go to every single doctor's appointment. It's not like he's watching the game in a bar with his friends. He's working!!! It's like saying the wedding is the most important day of your lives and everything after that will somehow work itself out. NO!!! This is important, he should prioritize, but also be able to see where the money will be useful in making their future (not to mention the child's future) better. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 When I was pregnant, my husband came to 3 visits: the visit where we discussed family history- genetics and pre-natal testing, the 12 week ultrasound visit, and the 20 week ultrasound visit where where they told us the sex of the baby. Other than that, he did not go to any other prenatal appointments because his work schedule makes it tough. I don't think it is necessary to go to every one. Quick question. My fiance is pregnant and her first doctor appt is tomorrow. Shes almost 4 months along and just now getting her first doctor visit (medicaid took forever to come through) So Im hoping all goes well. This visit might be one of the more "important" ones consdiering that she is already 4 months along. You'll get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time, and potentially even see the baby if they do an ultrasound. They might also discuss prenatal testing. So you should probably be there for that one, if you can. Congrats! Bella Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 I work mon-fri 10-6 and usually on saturdays (thats my overtime day) So thats not really possible. Some doctor appointments schedule as early as 8:30 am. I'm not sure if you have a commute but maybe if she could schedule that early, it won't interfere with you work. There is NO reason for you to go to EVERY appt (coming from a mother of two.) Go to the first one - because it is the first one. (Will they be able to hear the heartbeat at 4 months? - - I'm still tired here!) If you don't get to hear the heartbeat, go again in about 4 weeks maybe. Go when she gets the ultrasound. I personally think that's sufficient. I think it's unrealistic for her to expect you to go to every one. Link to comment
lonelygemini Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 My SO is on probation at his current job. Before he got this job, he was able to go to the appointment where they did the heartbeat (I think I was 12 weeks then). He won’t be able to go to the sonogram because of the time. The dr had to coordinate it with the hospital and everyone there has a funky vacation schedule. They rescheduled it twice, and they have it smack in the middle of the morning, when he can’t make it (he doesn’t get a lunch, plus he has a 45 min commute). I personally have to take a ½ day off because of the way they scheduled the sonogram. I’m sad that he can’t make the sonogram, but he needs to keep that $$ rolling in; we’ll have a mouth to feed soon! If you can afford to, make this appointment (because they’ll most likely do the heartbeat then) and the sonogram, but you don’t have to attend the rest of the appointments (like everyone else said). Link to comment
Paranoid Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 It can be a scary time being pregnant for some women, and she probably just needs to know you are as excited and nervous as she is... Maybe you could be creative - if you can't manage to schedule things to suit better - make sure you pop by a shop in your lunch break or after work and arrive home with something for the baby on that day! That sounds like a good idea to me. Maybe pick up something small either for her or the baby, maybe not though if money is really tight. Maybe you can make dinner for her when you get home from work on the days she has appointments and you can't go, and she can tell you all about the appointment. Or write her a note telling her that you wish you could be there but you are going to have another mouth to feed in a few months. As long as she knows that you want to go, and that you are thinking about her, and that you are interested in her and the baby, I think you should be ok Link to comment
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