Moving In

[ComputerGuy]

OK I'm not sure where this should go but seeing as its a big commitment I figure this is as good a place as any, Avman or someone feel free to move it if its in the wrong spot.

 

Anyway, here is the deal, I have been seeing a girl for just over 2 months now however she lives around 250km's away (Around 150miles) away. We spend every weekend together and occaisionally some time through the week depending on what happens. This week she is coming to stay for a week at my place as she has finished her tafe stuff and doesnt start her job for another 1.5 weeks after this weekend.

 

The travel is getting really expensive (1000km's (625 Miles) a weekend) or like 9 hours of bus travel for her. We decided that if we are still together after her birthday in September she should move in, that would put us at 6 months together at that stage.

 

I'm a fairly easy going person and not very much bothers me so any bad habits or whatever wouldn't phase me and she's the same...about the only thing I do that annoys her is snore but I'm working on that with a mouthguard thingy I got

 

I am 24 in November she will be 19 in September.

 

The question is, do you think it's too early to do something like that (Taking into account our circumstances)?

[Jayar]

Okay, HONESTLY I think she should live on her own a bit before moving in with you. Is she still at home with her parents? If so, encourage her to get a place out near you. She can start a job, a life, and if you're still happy together after a year or so (you know, like her apartment lease term) then maybe move her in.

 

I think she will change tremendously who she is now versus even a couple years from now. You have to let her do that. Good luck!

[annie24]

hey cg!!!! nice to see you back! congrats on your budding relationship!

 

anyways, i think that moving in together to save money is kind of a bad idea. better for you guys to move in together when you are SURE you want to take the next step in the relationship, and not as a trial 'get to know each other' thing. what about moving closer to one another - maybe in the same town, but not moving in together just yet? i think it's kind of a mistake to move in together to see if you two are a match, it can lead to many many complications, and i have to say 2 months or 6 months, i think it's still too early. but, that's just me.

 

think of it this way - if she lived in your city, would you be this enthusiastic to move in together by the end of the summer? probably not.

[BellaDonna]

Hey Computer Guy, it's nice to see you around. I do think that 2 months is far too soon to talk about moving in.

 

think of it this way - if she lived in your city, would you be this enthusiastic to move in together by the end of the summer? probably not.

 

I think that is very sound advice. Unless the core reason is to have the relationship become more serious and permanent- I would strongly advise against moving in this fast. Do you know enough about her to want to live with her day and night? I think you should take it slow and re-assess the situation in September.

 

BellaDonna

[arwen]

Hey CG, nice to see you back!!! You look really well in the picture Happy to hear you have met an interesting girl.

 

I think that definitely moving in together is too fast. Especially due to the distance, a couple that is together for only 6 months really wouldn't have enough experience with each other to be able to estimate how well living together would be. It's a very big step- it's a type of commitment that has to be there before you move in together, living together won't create that 'readiness' of the couple.

 

Another thing is that she is quite young. Not too young to be in a relationship- but young to live together, especially after only half a year. A lot changes in a life between 18 and 25, the period where a person starts a study and a career.

[feelinblu]

Hey there. Based on my personal experience, I think it's too soon to be moving in. Your situation sounds a little smilar to my last relationship. It was a far drive for me to take every weekend, and we began talking about me moving in after only 2 months. We waited to actually start moving me in until about 8 months in, but honestly it ruined our relationship. We're broken up now. Me moving in and so far away put a lot of stress on me, and we began arguing constantly. I think it might be better, especially given her age that she has a place of her own for a bit, and then you decide if it's still going well to move in together. I'm sure my ex and I would still be together if we hadn't rushed it