I'm worried about her...

[ilovethatgirl]

She has no self-respect at all anymore... ever since having sex with that guy, she is hating herself. When I mention something about how she is great, she replies with something about how evil, black, and twisted her soul is. She mentions how according to all her friends and even some teachers that she is just "damaged goods" now. I hate all her friends and teachers and plan to exact horrible vengeance on them later, but for now, what can I do to help make her feel better? I'm worried, she's been suicidal before.

 

 

 

(PS ok so I'm not going to be exacting horrible vengeance on anyone)

[EQD]

don't try and 'save her' thats not your job. when it comes down to it the only person that can help her is herself. i say stay away and let her go. we all fall.

[ilovethatgirl]

I'm not trying to save her, I just want to make sure she doesn't kill herself!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

With the way she is behaving, it is no wonder people don't respect her...it seems she will have to learn the hard way...if she hates herself that much she should be doing some good honest to goodness thinking about her behaviours. If she is not willing to change her behaviours, then all of her "woe is me, I am so horrible" talk, is just more of the same attention-seeking behaviour...and she has a good audience for that...YOU. Sometimes the best love is tough love...not the enabling type that you are giving her.

[CandyKins]

I don't think there's much you can do when it comes to 'self-(whatever)' to another human being. They have to understand, correct and help themselves (with help and support from another). But what you can do is guide them and help them. Trying to make them understand and view what they view in a different way.

 

Talk to her. Tell her you concerns and tell her that you're worried.

[just M.E.]

Does she have anyone in her family that you think is helpful or anyone that could point her to a good counseling program? You can't be the one to save her from herself, but you might be able to let someone who can help her know your concerns. Just be careful, sometimes helping someone can back fire. In this situation she will need to go to these people herself. As a friend you can encourage her to get the help she needs, but she has to do it.

 

We all make mistakes, what makes us better than our mistakes, is how we pick ourselves up and move forward. She needs to understand that and one of the best ways for her to feel better about herself is to do just that.

[EQD]

exactly. refer to the above two posts. if you give her all this attention it will only enable her. if she wants to talk to you about her problems then be an open ear, thats all you can do. don't baby her, dont kiss her butt. chances are someone who takes your compliment and turns it into 'i'm horrible blah blah' is someone who just wants an audience or is fishing for sympathy.