i went out last night - disaster will this ever end? help

[prettyhate]

THIS is a * * * * ty day so i saw my ex we drove past his shop and he looked good and it KILLED me but i didnt go in or anything remaining NC

then i went out... last night with a friend from work

ihated it

pretentious drunk drug taking places in sydney they gave me a few drinks made me worse i felt SO ALONE iwould go out with him to places i liked after club hopping i was so upset i got in a cab at 2am and left

ijust cant do this i cant deal with society yet or going out

i just hate it everyone wants sex i feelso gross and i felt even worse thinking he is out prob hooking up

why hasnt he contacted me its 3 weeks today

it is just * * * *

i feel so so so ugly

 

part of me wants to get os hot and part of me wants to just wallow

i keep hoping it will be a big mistake and he will realise and i just want himto suffer this is so childish im 26 i know but its so unfair that he can go out get laid and i want to snoop his hotmail so badly

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You broke up 3 weeks ago so it is still fresh...naturally you are feeling like crap. It will get better as time goes on. You don't have to go out if you don't want to..but make sure you find distractions even if you are sitting at home. You are not ugly just because one guy rejected you. You are still the same person you were before he dumped you...you have so much to do in your life..don't waste it on someone like him.

[undercover007]

I know that feeling after getting heart broken and then your friends trying to help by going out and getting you drunk but in the end you just feel worse cause all you want is to be with your ex.

 

I think that maybe you could use this time to just focus on yourself.. and don't think about him as hard as that is. But cut off all contact with him.. put everything that reminds you of him away.. and just focus on you. Get a make over.. go to the gym.. do something to make yourself look and feel better.

 

If he really loves you then he'll come back.. if he doesnt then you know it wasn't meant to be and you'll find someone thats better.

[cs90453]

I'm sure that you've heard this but I'll say it again....these things take time. I feel alot like you too. I am going out around talking to friends but it's not easy but I do it anyways. I do it because I know that things are going to be uncomfortable for the time being until I get used to doing things for myself. It's getting easier for me with everytime I go out and I promise that it will be the same for you. The bar scene probably isn't the answer and I'm sure that your friends have the best of intentions. Do what you find comfortable to you. Stay strong...it'll get better.

[islandj]

I went out last night after 7 weeks and felt similar, however I tried to enjoy yet as mmuch as I could as there is no reason for me to feel guilty if I hookup with someone, I am single and there's no reason for me to remain faithful to someone thats no longer part of my life and besides, he's (my ex) has been having fun.. i bet..

 

however, its only been 3 weeks for you, so in my opinion, its very recent!!

[prettyhate]

thanks... im watching loads of seinfeld its rainy here and work is tomorrow

its so hard i just think he is not suffering at all out and about probably having sex feeling relieved thathe doesnt have to ever deal with his cheating again

i just feelrotten ima really quiet person well i like dinner and movies i like talking i like concerts not clubs

its just so hard i am trying to meet friends but a lot went overseas my good friends

its so fresh but even my counsellor is like wow u are remarkable but am i

its just maybe a familiar feeling im so used to this

why wont he suffer](*,)

[GottaLetItBurn]

Well I don't know if it's really healthy to want him to suffer if you really cared about. I know you want him to feel the pain you are going through so you think maybe he will know how he is making you feel and that he will call you. Not going to happen. Some people really just don't get it, they hurt you and don't realize it until it happens to them what they did. It's a long road to healing but you'll get there quiet some time down the road.

 

You'll start having fun on some random day and realize you don't need him to feel whole, safe, and secure. If you really love someone though I just don't see how you could wish suffering on them. The best thing to do in these situations, and the hardest, is to do nothing. Just do nothing. Don't call him, try to write him, show that your angry with him. Just focus on yourself.

 

I hope you feel better asap. Though you should know the heart takes a long time to heal.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I think the feeling of wanting the dumper to suffer and hurt is a normal feeling in the early days after a breakup. The dumpee feels such rip roaring pain that it just feels so unfair that the dumper could walk away unscathed. So while it may be normal to wish he suffers, it is not healthy for you to focus on that. One day karma will come back to bite him on the butt...but your concern is to heal yourself, take care of yourself, and recognize that you are better off without him. This just takes time. Don't force yourself to do things that you don't want to do...that will just magnify the loneliness. See if your friends will be interested in doing what you enjoy doing, dinner, movies concerts etc. Instead of going to a Saturday night movie, why not go to a matinee, this way you avoid having to deal with all the couples on dates. Go to fun restaurants which attract a lot of groups of friends rather than those intimate dinner places.

[shattered heart.]

thanks... im watching loads of seinfeld its rainy here and work is tomorrow

its so hard i just think he is not suffering at all out and about probably having sex feeling relieved thathe doesnt have to ever deal with his cheating again

i just feelrotten ima really quiet person well i like dinner and movies i like talking i like concerts not clubs

its just so hard i am trying to meet friends but a lot went overseas my good friends

its so fresh but even my counsellor is like wow u are remarkable but am i

its just maybe a familiar feeling im so used to this

why wont he suffer](*,)

 

Prettyhate, this isn't a time to be wondering what HE is doing. It's a time for you to be focusing on productive activities and thoughts about YOU.

This train of thought, although normal, is very self destructive..I think you should slow your ideals of "going out" a bit..Instead of hitting the bars and clubs, why not ask a friend or two to go to a movie, or go shopping...Take it slow.