sapho Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Women can wait months, years before she feels sexual attraction to a man. Men are different. I want to understand this phenomenon. When a man pushes himself on a woman sexually too early.....but she finds him sexually attractive and doesn't resist as much as she should because she finds him physically attractive. She's being spontaneous and just following her instincts. But her instincts don't extend to capturing the guy's heart enough to make him stay with her. He doesn't appreciate what it took for her to give herself to him - that rare man - whilst so many men are begging her for her affections. She's an attractive, sensual woman turning men's heads everywhere - so much that she always feels watched in public. She can never just blend in with a crowd. Men find her 'striking.' She's not frigid. She's learned all about how to self-love and finds it satisfying to a point - better than being with a man who doesn't know what he's doing - better than being with a man who isn't into her on many levels. How can men rub their genitals up against a strange woman's genitals without really knowing her - he doesn't care if she's dead or alive the next day - he doesn't take her to breakfast and plan to be with her again.? How come women need to be the receptive receptacle, relying heavily on her personal allure magnetism to attract, draw a man to her? What if after a man 'activates' her interest by pushing himself on her too soon before she knows whether he'll stay with her.....almost rapes but she doesn't want to admit that.....she wants to try and make him follow through with her.....to make things right.....to build a respect that wasn't there at first.....? Do other women have this happen? When can a woman ever make the decision to be with a man - she chooses to be with - not because he chooses?? not because he's 'activated' her interest - her bonding - to him? do you understand what i'm trying to understand? In porn films, youtube porn it's visibly noticeable that the women are doing that for money - not for real sensuality - not for anything close to love......it's there in their demeanour, comportment, the way she is so stiff and business like about the sex - being so close to his genitals - all for just money or exhibitionism or whatever.....the superficiality is so obvious. Ok, she's working. But when it's not working.....why are men so oblivious to this phenomenon about women? She's a real woman in the real world - she isn't working so why treat her as if she were? Do men ever stop and think about this? Do they ever ask themselves why women wait so long before she can share her affections? Why she says no to so many men who are there for the picking? Doesn't he appreciate how special and important he is to her if she chooses him to be the one she focuses her sexual attentions on? For once in my life I'd like the man I respond to with my affections to say, "Wow, I'm really special. She actually wants me that way!" Why don't men see this? Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 When can a woman ever make the decision to be with a man - she chooses to be with - not because he chooses? I don't necessarily agree. That makes us sound like we're just victims. In fact, I have always seen it this way. Women are the ones in power because they are the ones who can accept or reject the guy. We have the last word. How can men rub their genitals up against a strange woman's genitals without really knowing her Easy... it's called being horny. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I think men do...I think that some women are just as guilty of having what you're referring to...a one night stand? Not so sure I understand your post. If a man is willing to wait for a woman long enough, then the relationship lasts. If it's just sex, then I think at times both men and women will just "give in", and have sex. Link to comment
amure Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 to a degree most of us do, but never follow through with showing our feelings on the matter. we think other things are important, when 96% of the time there not. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I don't necessarily agree. That makes us sound like we're just victims. In fact, I have always seen it this way. Women are the ones in power because they are the ones who can accept or reject the guy. We have the last word. I agree with this post. Otherwise, what you're really describing is a one night stand. Link to comment
KG Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I don't necessarily agree. That makes us sound like we're just victims. In fact, I have always seen it this way. Women are the ones in power because they are the ones who can accept or reject the guy. We have the last word. Easy... it's called being horny. I think that you are correct....the guy is usually the aggressor, the woman is the regulator. He can't get anything until she agrees. It's just human nature! Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 He has sex with her body... She has sex with his personality... That's all... Link to comment
d24 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 the earnest is on the man to initiate ad the woman to accept. i can't see how women could have any more power? having sex for a man is less worrysome because it's not them whose gunna get pregnant, and i understand this is probably the only reason why women get/need that emotional connection more than men. That's why the men chase, and the women regulate. Quick (VERY generalised) question: If you want something and 'someone' says no: Do you repect power or resent it? Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 i can't see how women could have any more power? [/i] what do you mean by this? That you don't think they have more power, or that women have so much more power that they couldn't possible have more. As for your other question, I don't quite understand what you mean either. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I totally get you on the part about spontaneity. And "He doesn't appreciate what it took for her to give herself to him - that rare man - whilst so many men are begging her for her affections." A lot of guys don't, but a lot of them DO. I know my boyfriend appreciates the fact that I make him wait, all our issues aside. A lot of guys I've dated was bummed out about not kissing me but they respected that. I talked to a few of my guy friends and they all say they appreciate it more when the girl makes them wait. HOWEVER, it's not fair that we have to make them wait in order for them to appreciate it. Like, I understand the principles and all... but why do WE have to stop it. Don't we have sex drive? Just because we don't have a penis poking out of our pants doesn't mean we don't get turned on when they touch us. So.. why is the responsibility up to us? And if we are unable to hold off for the same reasons men want sex, horniness, or plain curiosity... we're seen as weak, stupid and easy?? Link to comment
richmonder80 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I hear your concern...I am so happy to see that a woman like you is still out there and is in existence!!! Brings hope for decent guys like us. There are a lot of sl*ts out there, both men and women who value $ex as nothing more than a physical act. With so much emphasis on $ex by the popular media (tv, movies, magazines, billboards...you name it), we have become a nation of need for immediate satisfaction. I feel your frustration because so many people put so little value in intimacy. Yes, too each their own but what do we hold sacred now days? Marriage or intimacay...it has all become such a joke. I guess it all comes down to self love...learning to love one's self to realize how special each person is...in doing so we learn to not be so damn selfish because we realize that our partner or that woman/man is really a person and not just a $exual object. Link to comment
richmonder80 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Well by nature of evolution...a man's first priority is to spead his gene...to as many as he can to make sure his genes survive. However, in order to make sure his off springs survive, its offspring needs a nurturer who will be there for them, a woman/nurturer who will not abandon his offspring by mating with other males (because that supercedes his off-springs needs for the other male's off spring)...and this is the key to why men respects and stays with a woman that makes him wait. It is wired into human-kind after millions of years of revolution that we, males, seek females who can resists other man's pursuit of having them because that shows that the female will be faithful to caretaking his off spring. Although, this sounds too scientic it is applied in everyday life. For example, Im sure you all have a {Mod Edit} friend...is she ever able to have a meaningful long term relationship? I bet the answer is no...why? because the man goes into the relationship of never fully trusting her because he know if she was that easy to hope into bed, than it is certain that in the future she will hope into bed with another man without much effort. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 this is not the same for every man. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 He has sex with her body... She has sex with his personality... That's all... Excellent quote - very perceptive Link to comment
sapho Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 Yes, Pinkelephant, that's more along the lines of what I'm talking about....why do women have to play the man's game? When can I choose the man I'm attracted to....not just accept the man who's attracted to me....the man who comes on to me....? When can I initiate contact with the man I find attractive - not wait for him to come to me....to let his masculine ego believe he first had me in his sights? And be applauded and appreciated for my initiative? If women have the power why do I feel so helpless in a man's world? Why must I always hold back and wait around his schedule, his moods, his readiness? Why must I always tippy-toe around his delicate, fragile ego? It surely can't be that this was meant to be natural? If women have the power....why can't she pick up the phone and call him when she feels like it? What can she do to get the real love that's there but it's mis-managed somehow in a masculine controlled world? When will men learn about tantric, slow love, ecstasy, expansion, cosmic sexuality.....? not violent, aggressive, quarrel & fight first to raise sexual arousal then have quick short-term explosive tension filled sex.....? Link to comment
novaseeker Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Not all women aike you, however. There are women who sleep around like men do, there are women who do one night stands, flings, affairs, etc. There are women, in other words, who are behaving similar to the way many men do -- and it seems that the younger one goes down the age scale, the more prevalent that is, according to books that have been written about the sexual behaviors of young women in contemporary North America. At the same time, not all men are so sexually charged that they want to get into a woman's panties ASAP. It is true, however, that if you are a stunningly beautiful woman, you will get a lot of men coming after you to get sex -- that comes with the terrain of being stunningly sexually attractive to men, after all. It's easy to generalise, but the world is more complex than that. Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 When will men learn about tantric, slow love, ecstasy, expansion, cosmic sexuality.....? not violent, aggressive, quarrel & fight first to raise sexual arousal then have quick short-term explosive tension filled sex.....? I think men will learn when women stop letting them get away with it. Link to comment
novaseeker Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Yes, Pinkelephant, that's more along the lines of what I'm talking about....why do women have to play the man's game? When can I choose the man I'm attracted to....not just accept the man who's attracted to me....the man who comes on to me....? When can I initiate contact with the man I find attractive - not wait for him to come to me....to let his masculine ego believe he first had me in his sights? And be applauded and appreciated for my initiative? If women have the power why do I feel so helpless in a man's world? Why must I always hold back and wait around his schedule, his moods, his readiness? Why must I always tippy-toe around his delicate, fragile ego? Oh, I think you are overstating the restrictions here. If you are a beautiful woman, you can come on to many men without offending their ego. Men don't mind women initiating as much as you are suggesting. There *is* however a lot of anecdotal evidence (supplied by many of the female posters on ENA among other things) that suggests that relationships that are female initiated are more likely to be problematic and fail than relationships that follow the more traditional male chaser/female chasee approach. Perhaps some of these posters can weigh in on this issue. What can she do to get the real love that's there but it's mis-managed somehow in a masculine controlled world? What exactly do you mean here? When will men learn about tantric, slow love, ecstasy, expansion, cosmic sexuality.....? not violent, aggressive, quarrel & fight first to raise sexual arousal then have quick short-term explosive tension filled sex.....? *cough* Have you seen the thread in this section where the vast majority of women said they preferred rough sex to lovemaking? Maybe your preferences also don't represent women all that well? Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 we have to play it by the men's rule. we can't sleep around. we could, yes. but the names we would get!!! why aren't the men holding off!! why is it that we have to play this role? why are we restricted?! Link to comment
novaseeker Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 we have to play it by the men's rule. we can't sleep around. we could, yes. but the names we would get!!! why aren't the men holding off!! why is it that we have to play this role? why are we restricted?! I dont condone that for men or women, so I am not for de-stigmatizing promiscuity for men or women. Women don't need to reach for the lowest common male-set denominator in order to be complete people, to be honest. Link to comment
luckyyy Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 It's instinct for a man to have sex with a woman and move on, when we in the caves the alpha men would try and have sex with as many women as possible to result in more of their offspring. The beta male would be there for love and intimacy and to bring the child up. Obviously times have changed but us men are still programmed to think like that. Still, I am the type to stick with a girl I like and I do value love and sex, I don't care if that makes me a * * * * * haha. I have had sex with just one girl and that's my current gf. I'm not gonna lie though, If I was unfortunate enough to split up with my gf then I would take the oppotunity to have sex with multiple people that I didn't have any motive to be in a relationship with. That's just the way most men are. Anyhow, if both women and men thought about sex and relationships in the same way that would be far too easy. Life is meant to be hard and complicated remember! Link to comment
Penny_Lane Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 we have to play it by the men's rule. we can't sleep around. we could, yes. but the names we would get!!! why aren't the men holding off!! why is it that we have to play this role? why are we restricted?! Interesting point. I have something to add to this. I'm a girl, I've slept around with alot of women, so many to the point that it's promiscuous. I've always been the hunter, the chaser, the topper. And after all that I've rarely ever get called a sl*t. Instead I get called a "player" . I find it funny because the straight women that are sleeping around with a bunch of guys get called "sl*ts". It's funny because when it comes down to it, we're both doing the same thing. Link to comment
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