Want to break up. How do I break up with her?

[Demonblade]

For the past couple days I've been thinking about my relationship between me and my GF. I've been thinking about breaking up with her but I'm not sure how. I know she is happy with me, but she isn't very affectionate. Whenever I mention her not being affectionate with me she gives some excuse like "Your breath stinks" or whatever, but when I talk to someone and mention that I have bad breath none of them can even smell my breath. My needs aren't really being met, I've even talked to her about it. It's been a few days since I've talked to her about it and nothing has really changed.

 

I was on the phone with her a couple hours ago and she (once again) asked if she could give a girl a chance, if she could date her AND me at the same time. I told her no and she kept asking why I'm being mean. Saying that she'll put me first and that she won't see her very often and that she doesn't think it'll last and that I was fine before with her dating girls while dating me. I told her that the only reason was because I wanted her to be happy and then she continued saying exactly what she said before (won't see her very often, put me first, etc).

 

She says she wants me and her to be together. I was talking to mutual friend and she told me that my GF was crying about her having to move away and leaving me. Two weeks ago she had told me she had to move away. Last week she told me that sh convinced her parents to let her stay here.

 

Conversation comes extremely hard for both of us. She doesn't flirt with me. She makes fun of me (as in "small penis" and among other insulting things, she hasn't even seen me naked so). When I confronted her about it she said that making fun of me is her way of flirting. Which I know is BS. When I say that I feel insulted she says that I need to "learn to take a joke". I can take a joke extremely well, its just when its "jokes" like "you have small penis" that I get offended by.

 

That's where I need help, I don't know how to break up with her. I still like her and I know she likes me (maybe even loves, but I doubt she does). But my reasons are obvious. But I also don't want to hurt her.

Also, there is another girl I like. She and I are close friends (known each other for almost 2 years) and she seems to take care of my needs very well and treats me the way I like to be treated already. We've been writing to each other and she just told me today that she's had a crush on me since last year.

 

She and I are going to be hanging out at her house tomorrow night to watch some movies. She invited me over a couple days ago. Today she asked me if I wanted to come over a little early tomorrow to eat dinner with her and her family. She and my GF are more aquaintances than friends. She knows that I've been thinking about breaking up with my GF.

[annie24]

wow, your gf sounds like a witch!!!!! i would just tell her, 'hey - we gave it a shot, but this relationship isn't working out. let's break up. and now you have your chance to finally go for a girl, have fun.'

 

i think you are better off without her. she sounds wretched.

[DN]

I agree with Annie. Break up with her. But be careful about any fallout from dating the new girl if she is a friend of your current g/f.

[amystar]

Hi there,

 

Wow, I can't believe she wants to date somebody else while she is dating you. It really doesn't sound like she wants to be with you. I know how it is with the insults disguised as "jokes", my ex used to do that to me all the time. It really chips away at your self confidence after a while, so please don't put up with that especially if you have already told her it insults you.

[arcadefire]

Okay, so this girl insults you, suggests that she wants to date someone else, and does not enjoy being affectionate with you. Is this something you look for in a girlfriend?

 

As for breaking up with her, talk to her nicely about it. Say things weren't working out and you're sorry about how things turned out. Say goodbye and don't ever say you want to remain friends or that you hope you two can work it out in the future.

[Demonblade]

i would just tell her, 'hey - we gave it a shot, but this relationship isn't working out. let's break up. and now you have your chance to finally go for a girl, have fun.'

 

i think you are better off without her. she sounds wretched.

 

This is the 4th time my we have gotten back together. When we weren't together, we were friends (very good friends, actually). I want to break up with her but not in a way that will hurt her. I want to stay friends with her because, really we are much better off as friends. There is only a week left of school. Should I just hang out with the other girl (not date) for a couple weeks and break up with my GF over summer vacation?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

It will create more hard feelings if she knows you started seeing a new girl before breaking up with her. There is no easy way to break up (or 'right' time).

 

Once you know the relationship is over, it is best to just sit the person down and say it isn't working out. Remind her that she wants to date other people, so it is best you just end it now and part as friends. Keep it short and non-emotional and don't let her belittle you. If she starts, just tell her, look that confirms it, you don't even seem to like me so lets just call it a day.

[annie24]

This is the 4th time my we have gotten back together. When we weren't together, we were friends (very good friends, actually). I want to break up with her but not in a way that will hurt her. I want to stay friends with her because, really we are much better off as friends. There is only a week left of school. Should I just hang out with the other girl (not date) for a couple weeks and break up with my GF over summer vacation?

 

then it's time to make the next breakup the last. be firm. just tell her, and then start hanging out with the new girl. she wants to hang out with girls too, so let her.

[Demonblade]

I don't really know what to do now. Apparently a mutual friend of all three of us told my GF that she thinks that I like the other girl more than my GF and started telling her about how me and the other girl are always talking, joking around, and laughing. She was upset all day and was extremely affectionate all day. She kept saying that she loves me. When I asked what was wrong she told me what the girl said. She kept saying how me and the other girl seem to have much more in common and get along better, then saying how she doesn't want to lose me. She said that she is fine with me hanging out with the other girl as long as it's just friends and neither of us do anything.

Honestly, I do still love my GF. But this entire thing is just confusing me. Should I just give it another month? Just to test her and see if she is serious? She looked like she was about to cry and sounded like it too.

[drewciouS281]

dude kick her to the curb. shes a bi curious waste of time. you said it yourself. Your needs arent met and chances are when you dump her she is gonna say goodbye to the skinbong and hello to the taco. Be happy for yourself and leave her.

[DN]

So she thinks it's OK if she pursues this other girl but not OK if you do?

 

Too problematical - I would leave.

[annie24]

dude kick her to the curb. shes a bi curious waste of time. you said it yourself. Your needs arent met and chances are when you dump her she is gonna say goodbye to the skinbong and hello to the taco. Be happy for yourself and leave her.

 

lol. 'bi-curious waste of time.' i love it. i need to use that phrase more often. i've dated a bi guy and it's pretty awful. just my POV. it doesn't work for me at all.

 

i would really break up with this girl. i think one day when you do have a normal, loving relationship, you'll wonder why you stuck with this weirdo for so long!

 

she's only affectionate now because it's a game.