Finally got a text from her yesterday.

[MattyG]

After almost 3 months of NC my ex texted me out of the blue yesterday with simply a "hey long time no talk"..I knew exactly who it was and knew the number. I guess it put me in a state of shock so I simply replied that it had been and asked her what she had been up too. She said that she had been ok and felt bad about the whole situation that happened before with her new boyfriend and if it made me feel any better that things "were going downhill to say the least" in her exact words. So I asked her if she would like to get together and talk. She said yes that she would call me when she got done swimming and come by the house. So long story short her sister ended up calling her and needing something from her so she didnt get over here. So she said today that she would come by after she got done job hunting.

 

So I guess im here to ask where do I go from here? Do I sit here and pray that her relationship with this guy is really going down the crapper and wait it out? And if she comes by today I thought about suggesting dinner sometime this week to simply catch up but didnt know if that was being to forward.

[emalkoc]

just be direct and ask her flat out! you cannot meet her unless she is considering getting back together. if she is wishy-washy, then go NC and move on...

 

she is probably having problems with new bf (about time 3 mos), missing you but perhaps checking out whether you are still on the hook..dont be her backup...everyone easily tempted to reply, talk and get together for lunch or coffee with ex'es...but in reality, it is for their security and ego stroke..at the end, you loose...because all that 3 mos of healing will go donw the drain if you are not direct about it!

 

my two cents

 

eric

[PushingDaisies]

You dont want to become her back up. Keep he meeting short, if she doesnt give an indication of getting back together, say that for your own healing you cant see her anymore.

 

Best of luck

[theredrocket]

just be direct and ask her flat out! you cannot meet her unless she is considering getting back together.

 

I really don't think you can go from NC to let's get back together. It would look desperate and a bit crazy destined for failure.

 

I'm not sure if I would have met her but instead have just talked on phone briefly. With where you are, present a good face, be upbeat and avoid talking about her current relationship if possible.

[Maverick32x]

yep, just to mirror what other people said, shes just using you as an emotional tampon for now..

 

Obviously you still have feelings for her.. and she sees you as a backup.. you deserve better!!!! So unless she really wants to get back together with you, I wouldn't keep her around~

 

Good luck~

[PushingDaisies]

yep, just to mirror what other people said, shes just using you as an emotional tampon for now..

 

LMAO thats origional!

[MattyG]

yep, just to mirror what other people said, shes just using you as an emotional tampon for now..

 

Obviously you still have feelings for her.. and she sees you as a backup.. you deserve better!!!! So unless she really wants to get back together with you, I wouldn't keep her around~

 

Good luck~

 

See this is what gets my goat..shes the kinda woman who can never be strait forward. Even if i do corner her and ask her where this is going she'll just say something like " I dont know" or " I dont know if i still love you"

but like redrocket said I didint pry about the relationship SHE came to me with the info that things wernt going well and on top of that flirted with me yesterday telling me that she was gonna come watch me race and wanted me to autograph her breasts so I guess the next couple hours will tell.

[IMAbadman]

Dude. You're getting played. Drop her. Tell her when she's single maybe you'll consider talking to her but until then you're moving on. It's a game she's playing and your not even a player. You're the ball being tossed about at her whim.

 

Mention something about one of the Track Bunnies you got it in for... that'll help her figure our your moving on too.

[orangesoda]

autograph her breasts?....okayy.

 

and yeah, to echo what everyone else said, you're getting played here - sounds like the honeymoon ended with her new guy, and she's either bored or looking for someone to vent her problems to.

 

look at this way - she's going to drown you with her sorrows but at the end of the day, who's still the boyfriend? yeah, him. not you.

 

i'd find myself suddenly very busy if i were you.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Don't fall into this quicksand. She's had her little fling, and maybe she's had a fight with the guy. But there is no guarantee that if he snaps his fingers she won't go running back.

 

When you see her, make sure you make it clear you aren't interested in anything unless she is totally broken up with the guy. And don't sleep with her until you are really sure it is a good thing to get back with her again, or that she is even being sincere.

 

This can set you WAY back if you think she is sincere, but she is just lonely and wants a shoulder to cry on. some people will ping pong back and forth among people, regardless of how it hurts everyone's feelings and confuses things.