I am going to get married at any cost by 30

[Batya33]

...

This is wise...after age 30 a woman's chances of marrying plummet something like by 50%.

 

Huh? Where? Are you talking about just never married women? Where is the basis for that statistic? In my case, I was proposed to more after age 30 than before, I had far more success finding healthy relationships after age 30 - and after age 35 -than before. I've never heard this statistic and it is most certainly not true in the major city I live in. Also, are you referring to chances of happily marrying, marrying anyone, arranged marriages, marrying for love?

 

Sounds like you picked this out of a hat.

[Batya33]

I didn't think you had any statistics to back up your 50% statistic, LOL. Luckily, where I am from and where I still live (major US city) we are well aware that those tired old statistics were shown later not to be true, we are well aware that there are huge numbers of single people in their 30s and 40s who are fabulous, quality people and if anything the people I have met who may have a harder time are those who got married young and divorced before or right around 30 - especially if they have kids - -- if they want to get married again.

 

I've met just as many jaded 25 year olds as 45 year olds (including from what I've read on these boards!) - it all depends how you react to your experiences with people, not your age. I made better choices in men after 30 than earlier in part because once I finished grad school and started my career I had far more confidence.

 

I could have married at 23, and again at 27, but both would have been choices based from a perspective of not the greatest self esteem. What did boost my self esteem also was declining to get married to those men even though many of my friends were getting married around that age and it would have been easier to follow the herd (I think half of them are now divorced or unhappy).

 

So, it may be true where you live (based on your personal opinion since you don't have anything to back it up - not sure why you would quote 50% if you hadn't done the research - I don't need to do the research because I am well aware of what is accurate), and if it is (who knows) it's a good thing that it's not true in my major city which of course is always an option for a single person who chose not to get married before 30 - i.e. to relocate to a major U.S. city or a city which is known to have a high volume of single people. Living in the burbs with mostly families and couples can be a negative.

 

Just to be clear - your statement made me laugh, it didn't concern me in the least nor did I find it offensive, just a bit unhelpful to the OP to give a 50% statistic when it was really just based on your personal opinion and you took that number out of a hat.

 

Here is one of the postings that describes the myth:

 

link removed

[itsallgrand]

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This is wise...after age 30 a woman's chances of marrying plummet something like by 50%.

 

lol. Even if that were true, it doesn't make a good reason to get all desperate to find a hubby.

 

When I hear things like that, I think, who cares? As though being married were the one way to happiness.

 

At what point will we as people let that thing die - that our purpose is to get married.

[CrazyKing]

Huh, what I can say about the phrase "I am going to get married at any cost by 30" is that it sounds like:

 

"It doesn't matter if my partner is a potential murder or something like that, but I just don't want others to laugh about me not being married"

 

Everything great takes time - just look at celebrities who get married over and over again just because everybody around them wants to see them together with someone...

[annie24]

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This is wise...after age 30 a woman's chances of marrying plummet something like by 50%.

 

well, if you are going to be saying alarmist things like this, you'd better have the references to back them up! on one hand, sure, as you get older, people collect more baggage and might be reluctant to remarry. but on the other hand, how many posts have we had here from men who think they are too young to marry?! it's a no-win situation!

 

my mom has been married 3 times - at 21, 36, and 63. clearly, she had no problems finding a spouse after 30. i know more people now getting married in their 30s + rather than in their 20s. only one of my college friends has gotten married. rest are still single or are in long term relationships.

[Batya33]

I agree with Annie. I did not mean to insult you or beat a dead horse. For the OP's sake and others reading this thread who might feel similarly desperate at the "ripe old age" of 29 I felt that your alarmist percentage and statement needed to be addressed and clarified.

 

The OP is focused on getting married by age 30 "at any cost" - so your posting to her that that is a good idea given your view on the percentages is agreeing that she should settle. So, thanks for clarifying that you do not agree that she should settle. That was one reason I replied as I did, to make sure that the OP had opinions on both sides.

[hers]

MissKitty, the biggest problem with the OP's post is her sense of desperation and the fact that she is jealous over her peers' relationships. It's not that she thinks she won't find anyone after 30; it's that she's doing it as competition with others and will settle just to get out of the competition.