Need to end a 5 year relationship, but have no where to go

[Traveler27]

I've finally come to the painful realization that I must end my 5 year relationship with my boyfriend. The problem is that we recently moved from the east coast to California, and now I have nowhere to go. We currently share an apartment, but his parents have been paying his bills for years (this is obviously part of the problem). I cannot afford to get my own place right now, and even living with a roommate would be very tight financially. I have a contract with my job here that I will end in 3 months. If it wasn't for this job, I would just pack my things, buy a plane ticket and go home and stay with my mom. However, since I'm 3000 miles from her, I don't know what to do. I do not want to delay making this horrible decision any longer, but I literally have no support system here --no friends or family. I am so unhappy with him and want to get out. I'm thinking maybe I should stay until I am in a better place in my life- financially, emotionally, have some friends, etc. I don't think I can handle a breakup and not have anyone to turn to for support.

[DN]

I think you should do whatever is necessary to get out now. To stay with someone for financial reasons is unfair, particularly if he or his parents are subsidising you in any way.

[Aschleigh]

yeah, ask mom to give you the money for the plane trip and get out. If you have a car you can drive home. You will make it. Use a credit card for the one way flight . Where there is a will there is a way.

[annie24]

why do you want to break up with your bf?

[Keyman]

If you can't delay it until the end of the contract, then I would suggest you break the contract and head home like the others have said. What about your workmates(assuming you have some)? Could any of them put you up for the rest of the contract? As you really don't have a lot of options, the choice shouldn't be so hard. The hard thing will be to do the breaking up and the moving.

[annie24]

if you live in a college town, look around for summer sublets. a lot of students go away for the summer and are looking to sublease their apartments for half the market rate. since you have 3 months left on your contract, this might work.

 

regarding friends - stay busy. enroll in some class, go to church, go to the gym, just surround yourself with people. even go to a coffee shop and read.

[lady00]

why do you want to break up with your bf?

 

Wondering the same. Would you mind? It may be helpful if you could give a few more details.

 

That said, I don't think you should wait if you have your mind totally made up. As DN said it isn't fair to him if you know now. Unfortunately, that may mean leaving your job and returning to your hometown. I think that is probably the wiser option than staying in an unhappy relationship.

[DN]

why do you want to break up with your bf?

 

[annie24]

without the details, it's hard to know what is wrong in the relationship. if you don't know WHY he's not right for you, i suggest you take some time and think about it. i agree that it would be selfish of you to stay with him until your contract expires. i agree with asking around with the other coworkers, perhaps one of them has a spare bedroom they can rent out? or look around on craigslist.