spainman_88 Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 So I've been NC with the ex for about 5 months (after she dumped me, then we talked a little bit for a few months but it faded out and I knew she was dating someone else...). I made a point to never initiate contact with her as my way of healing, and I havent in months. Recently she called me and left a message saying 'Hi, we havent talked in a while, Let's catch up. I miss you.' So my question is, is it considered me breaking NC to call her back? I mean, clearly I know we would then be in contact again, but it isnt me initiating it in the first place. She hurt me a lot and I was angry for a long time (kinda still am). But in a way I'd like to see how shes doing because I always cared about her. She has for some reason decided to contact me. I'm proud of myself though for the 5 months NC.....do I negate all of this by calling her back? Link to comment
nickbroken Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Nope, you don't owe her anything, go on with your life. She left you. Link to comment
DN Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 What would be the point of responding? I take it you would not want her as a friend but as a girlfriend if you wanted her at all? Link to comment
spainman_88 Posted May 14, 2008 Author Share Posted May 14, 2008 Actually I do NOT want her as a GF after how she treated me, and what I've realized about her since. She did hurt me, but I dont want her back in that way. My reason for thinking of responding is that I do care about her still, and I know she doesn't have many supportive people in her life. I'm not a part of her life anymore, but I think its the nice thing to do, respond and check in. I don't want her to be hurt that someone is ignoring her. But I don't want to sacrafice my months of NC and hard work getting over her. Link to comment
DN Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Actually I do NOT want her as a GF after how she treated me, and what I've realized about her since. She did hurt me, but I dont want her back in that way. My reason for thinking of responding is that I do care about her still, and I know she doesn't have many supportive people in her life. I'm not a part of her life anymore, but I think its the nice thing to do, respond and check in. I don't want her to be hurt that someone is ignoring her. But I don't want to sacrafice my months of NC and hard work getting over her.If you think that is likely - then don't respond. She has to deal with the consequences of what she did and that means losing you as a friend as well as a boyfriend. You can decide to let her be a friend if you want to - but not at the expense of your own peace of mind. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 I agree with DN. You don't owe her anything....she dumped you and started dating someone else...let her get support from that other person. Don't feel guilty just because she doesn't have a lot of support systems...if how you say she treated you is how she treats others, maybe that is why she doesn't have a good support network. Not your problem....she made her choices, let her live by them. It is clear from her message that getting back together with you is not on the agenda, so why bother with her if you say that you are not happy with the way she treated you. Link to comment
nickbroken Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Ya I am in the full belief once they break up with you, it's just better to set your sails and not look back, they lose all rights to you, more or less it seems she tried to rebound and it didn't work so now she wants to go back to something she knows because she still has feelings. Link to comment
NoPainNoGain Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Stay in no contact with this woman forever. Even if she comes crawling on her knees. Link to comment
bluestar Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 Why did she leave you? What were her reasons? Link to comment
Theo Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 If you think that is likely - then don't respond. She has to deal with the consequences of what she did and that means losing you as a friend as well as a boyfriend. You can decide to let her be a friend if you want to - but not at the expense of your own peace of mind. Wow, this is like war. Yes, spainman. I think his logic is right and you should ignore her politely. If she really wanted your friendship, then she probably wouldn't have done the things she did. It would take a huge turnaround on her part to get you back. Link to comment
NoPainNoGain Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 Dont step on your own diggnity... forget her! Link to comment
birdie89 Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 I would have to agree with the majority of the posters on here.....what do you expect to accomplish by being in contact with her, it will only hurt and your months of no contact will be a waste..... don't do it buddy. Link to comment
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