ryan123 Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 Are you all some do-it-by-the-bookers? How many people drink before theyre 21? How many people use recreational narcotics? How many people have sex before they're 16? How many smoke cigarettes before they're 18? How many watch porn before they're 18? Its just like speed limits signs...Its just a guideline that nobody follows. And really what sets 66 MPH from 65 MPH. Is that one extra MPH going to save your life or somebody elses? No one knows for sure, but i'd think not. Is that 1 MPH going to save some animal that runs accross the road? Is 15 and 364 days any different than 16? Is 17 and 364 days different than 18? Sure by one day(maybe 2 for all you wise guys accounting for leap year). Does that one extra day make you mature enough to watch porn and smoke cigarettes? Its total bologna... Stop being the moral police that everyone here tries to be and give the kid the advice he's looking for regardless. Its his life and if he wants to be used, let him. Not saying thats the case...But if it is, its HIS choice. Enotalone is supposed to be a site where you get advice. Not told how everything you're doing is wrong. Life will teach him that. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 I think we all have a moral responsibility to take an interest in the other person. Nobody is telling him what he can and can't do, we are using the benefit of knowledge and experience to try to help prevent someone from making a mistake. Taking an interest and being supportive doesn't always mean telling someone exactly what they want to hear. Yes, people will make mistakes..but at least if people caution him, once he has made the mistake he will never be able to say "why didn't anyone take enough of an interest to warn me what would happen". People should not turn a blind eye if they can impart some wisdom. Sure you might get bashed for speaking the truth and trying to prevent a bad thing...but I would rather be that person bashed than walk away understanding the possible ramifications of someone's actions but not telling them. Link to comment
jengh Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 I had a checking account at 16. hmmm, maybe it's some weird Michigan law. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 People respond on these forums based also on previous posts. They don't only base their answers on the one thread of a particular person. People look at the BIG PICTURE. Being truly helpful is about looking at the BIG picture. If someone were to post in one thread about feeling suicidal...and then in another thread start asking about pills...I think people should be putting two and two together, not just answer the pills question as if the other thread didn't exist. Same kind of thing in this thread. Link to comment
mke11077 Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 People respond on these forums based also on previous posts. They don't only base their answers on the one thread of a particular person. People look at the BIG PICTURE. Being truly helpful is about looking at the BIG picture. If someone were to post in one thread about feeling suicidal...and then in another thread start asking about pills...I think people should be putting two and two together, not just answer the pills question as if the other thread didn't exist. Same kind of thing in this thread. I have responded to a few people on here who said they were suicidal, and yes I did go through previous threads/posts of theirs to get "The Big Picture". The kid here is just asking how he can buy a vibrator. I don't think he's going to harm himself or anyone else with a sex toy. I seriously don't understand how this thread went from a 16 year old asking how to buy a vibrator to a moral issue. When someone goes to a car dealership to buy a car the salesperson doesn't run a background check on them... Link to comment
lillie Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 I have responded to a few people on here who said they were suicidal, and yes I did go through previous threads/posts of theirs to get "The Big Picture". The kid here is just asking how he can buy a vibrator. I don't think he's going to harm himself or anyone else with a sex toy. I seriously don't understand how this thread went from a 16 year old asking how to buy a vibrator to a moral issue. When someone goes to a car dealership to buy a car the salesperson doesn't run a background check on them... I agree.. I respond to posts i sometimes dont agree with,but i will put my judgment aside & try & be helpful.. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 I have responded to a few people on here who said they were suicidal, and yes I did go through previous threads/posts of theirs to get "The Big Picture". The kid here is just asking how he can buy a vibrator. I don't think he's going to harm himself or anyone else with a sex toy. I seriously don't understand how this thread went from a 16 year old asking how to buy a vibrator to a moral issue. When someone goes to a car dealership to buy a car the salesperson doesn't run a background check on them... I am sure if the person is 16 years old they might be more wary and would like the parents around! I believe the OPs ex who he wants to buy the dildo for is 14. If you had a son of 16 and a daughter of 14, would you like strangers to encourage your children to buy dildos??? If the answer is you wouldn't mind, then I guess I have nothing more to say! Link to comment
lillie Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 I am sure if the person is 16 years old they might be more wary and would like the parents around! I believe the OPs ex who he wants to buy the dildo for is 14. If you had a son of 16 and a daughter of 14, would you like strangers to encourage your children to buy dildos??? If the answer is you wouldn't mind, then I guess I have nothing more to say! I would mind...I do see where you are coming from,i have a young daughter.. But that isnt the question that the op has asked. I do have opinions about this vibrator thing & the girl involved,but im trying to be non judgmental & keep my opinions to one side.. Im not saying im right,im just doing what i think is right for me & the op.. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 I would mind...I do see where you are coming from,i have a young daughter.. But that isnt the question that the op has asked. I do have opinions about this vibrator thing & the girl involved,but im trying to be non judgmental & keep my opinions to one side.. Im not saying im right,im just doing what i think is right for me & the op.. I think a lot of the reason why kids run amok is that adults try to treat kids like adults rather than like kids....so they tap dance around things and let the kids experiment with whatever rather than spelling out what the ramifications can be. Kids will try to experiment...it is up to adults to help them identify what is right and what is wrong, even if we are not their parents. It is not enough to say that all teenagers are having sex anyway so may as well turn a blind eye. Sure they are going to do it...but that doesn't mean we have to look away....one day they will figure out that it was not wise...then they will be angry at adults who should know better for turning a blind eye and not warning them of the ramifications. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 You can go to CVS or any drugstore and buy a mastercard debit card. They charge a $10 fee i think. But it works just like a credit card. I have not read all your replies so maybe someone already suggested this. Link to comment
lillie Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 I think a lot of the reason why kids run amok is that adults try to treat kids like adults rather than like kids....so they tap dance around things and let the kids experiment with whatever rather than spelling out what the ramifications can be. Kids will try to experiment...it is up to adults to help them identify what is right and what is wrong, even if we are not their parents. It is not enough to say that all teenagers are having sex anyway so may as well turn a blind eye. Sure they are going to do it...but that doesn't mean we have to look away....one day they will figure out that it was not wise...then they will be angry at adults who should know better for turning a blind eye and not warning them of the ramifications. I completely agree. I was very strict with my daughter. I also talked about everything from sex,virginity & losing it,boys using girls & girls getting a bad reputations. These conversations were contant in our house. I am quite old fashioned & strict. But ilovethatgirl is very eloquent about what he wants,and what he want to do..And i had tried reasoning with him in a previous post but realized he wasnt going to be swayed. So on this thread i took his request for help at face value,as in how can i purchase a sex toy. And he is of legal age to have sex,even though he may not be legal to buy a sex aid. As for the girl..i better not go there because it has already been covered extensively in the other thread.. But yes i get where your coming from Link to comment
ryan123 Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Valid points...But, do you wish someone fool-proofed your life so you didn't have any bad experiences? Bad experiences are part of life. And while informing people about the mistakes you made or he made or they made is good, its also preventing people from having authentic bad experiences to live and learn from. Especially when he wasn't even asking about what yall thought about the situation. He simply wanted to know how to get a sex toy for his girlfriend or ex or whatever(im not current on his situation). Say you have this child. The child doesn't know how to talk. So you baby him and let him just point at things. Then one day you die. The child is then left not knowing how to talk because he had someone doing it for them. While it's good to help people...I think letting him learn from possible mistakes is a more proactive solution. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 You can't compare the talking issue with having sex or buying dildos at 16 years old. Talking is crucial to getting somewhere in life...not buying a dildo is not going to have any ramifications on a person's development. An equivalent to your argument is not warning a child not to touch the heating element of a stove...after all, why baby him, let him find out the hard way after he burns himself that you don't touch hot elements. Link to comment
mke11077 Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 This thread has gotten way off topic and turned into more of a debate then what it originally was intended to be. It appears the whole argument here is just a difference in morals, more specifically, "old fashioned values". I do think it's incredibly crazy that a 16 year old would buy a vibrator for his 14 year old gf, but as persistent as he is there's nothing anyone can say here that will change his mind. Preaching to him to use a condom if they were to have sex is definitely a much more important issue then telling him not to but a vibrator. Kids will explore even if adults tell them not to, and will do almost whatever they want if adults become too strict. I took this thread with a grain of salt, to me it was a harmless question (I do think 14 is a little young to experiment in that way though). Now if he starts threads about his girl being pregnant, STD's, drugs, alcohol, etc.; then I would be concerned. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 I agree with all that you said. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Actually, there is another thread by the 14 year old in question and she does in fact think she is pregnant...the father being someone else with whom she has had sex...someone 3 years older than her. From the other posts of the OP, there doesn't seem to be a grasp of the seriousness of all of this and the inappropriateness. This 14 year old girl for whom he wants to buy a sex toy may actually be knocked up by someone else. I don't take this with a grain of salt, I think it is very sad. Call it preaching moral values...well, I would rather preach moral values then call the whole thing trivial and harmless. Link to comment
mke11077 Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Sometimes preaching falls upon deaf ears. You can't save everyone... Link to comment
lillie Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 There is a HUGE difference between finding a hooker and buying a vibrator. A hooker can have std's, a vibrator is a piece of a plastic with batteries in it. I disagree!!.......Its more than just a piece of plastic Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 17, 2008 Author Share Posted May 17, 2008 I disagree!!.......Its more than just a piece of plastic rofl! I wouldnt know, being a guy, but ilovethatguy sighs happily whenever she is reminded of whats coming her way. Link to comment
valiantv Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 I don't understand the problem with asking the mom... You said it would show up on the bill as "Internet Deliveries" or something... ?? Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 17, 2008 Author Share Posted May 17, 2008 I don't understand the problem with asking the mom... You said it would show up on the bill as "Internet Deliveries" or something... ?? yeah... but she might not want me to order something and not tell her what it is and what if she refuses? its good to have a plan to fall back on. Link to comment
blindfold Posted May 17, 2008 Share Posted May 17, 2008 get it from a sex shop? what's the big deal here, I don't get it... Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 18, 2008 Author Share Posted May 18, 2008 I may need identification of my age being over 18, is the issue. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Just for future warnings.. alot of the times when you think something is going to show up as "internet orders" it actually does show up as that however usually the store name shows up on the statement and most places especially online don't cover their names very well. Also, with it being delivered, depending on how its shipped certain times they require an adult signature and are shipped in packages with the name on the outside. My best friend works for fedex and I die everytime he tells me the stories of people receiving and having to sign for those "special deliveries". The first warning came from personal experience, I things off an adult sex shop last year.. the site said it had "discreet" shipping and billing however, it was obvious by the name of the company on the box just what I was ordering, LOL. Thank god noone else was around when it arrived. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 get it from a sex shop? what's the big deal here, I don't get it... he's only 16.. that's the problem Link to comment
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