Neediness, obsessions, gender differences.

[Clementine orange]

As a public service I will post this. It does have a personal side of it since I recently ended a relationship, in part, because she was too needy (and too worried that I would end it...)

 

The following is from Tuesday's Globe and Mail (One of Canada's 2 national newspapers) in the "social studies" kind of section. I hope I can legally do this. I will also edit slightly for brevity.

 

"Men and women are needy in different ways" Nando Pelusi writes in Psychology Today magazine.

 

"men get obsessed before they land a partner; women get obsessed after they find one. Men and women alike become desparate for a guarantee of love, but that desparation kicks in, roughly speaking, at different points of the relationship."

 

I've seen neediness araise even when men and women do not aprticularily care for the person they're needy about.. In addition, the anguish associated with the need for love paradosically causes some peopl eto dispense with love altogether - it's just too painful for them.

[ghost69]

i like that statement. holds a lot of water too.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I read the exact same thing in psychology today.

 

I think it's true.

 

Men get hold up on relationships they haven't entered, and women tend to not want to let go of relationships with people they don't even like.

[Excalibur]

"the greatest relationships are those in which the desire for each other significantly outweighs the need of one another." Dahli Lama

[CallingAllAngels]

I've seen neediness araise even when men and women do not aprticularily care for the person they're needy about.. In addition, the anguish associated with the need for love paradosically causes some peopl eto dispense with love altogether - it's just too painful for them.

 

Thanks for posting this.

 

I find it sad that, rather than communicate what's going on, people would rather dispense with love all together.

 

Why does love have to be so hard and hurt so much?

 

Personally, I would rather take the risk than not. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

Great thread.

 

~Allie

[DN]

The problem with generalisations like this is that they break down too often when applied to individuals and so become useless.

[CarnelianButterfly]

The problem with generalisations like this is that they break down too often when applied to individuals and so become useless.

 

My thoughts exactly. Are we sheep? Nope, so we don't follow just because some said it was so.

[knightNshiningarmor]

yes...why is it that how hard it is to fall in love it seems so easy to fall out of love.

[Cognitive_Canine]

The problem with generalisations like this is that they break down too often when applied to individuals and so become useless.

 

Well, of course there will always be exceptions.

 

However, i have read about two separate studies that show these trends in behaviour.

 

I find it really interesting.

[CallingAllAngels]

Personally, I've never had this happen to me, but I find the study interesting and the thread interesting.......