My stummy hurts

[CynicalGuitarist]

every time I see this one girl that works not too far from me. It's like some form of mental pain or something. It sucks. I get sharp pains in my stomach and have gigantic mood swings non-stop. However, I have no courage to talk to her; as I "can't even look in her eyes without shaking" (thanks old Weezer) and I try to ignore the feelings and go back to work... but it only compounds these feelings.

 

Oh well, maybe someday they'll find a way to dissipate, somehow.

[ProtestTheHero]

Are you interested in dating her?

 

I assume the shaking is a sign of attraction, lol, but maybe if you were specific I could help out.

[sincerelyshy]

I've been in the same situation, except I've known the guy for a long long time. Sometimes I would just start to shake or feel nacious when I saw him enter the bar (or where ever we happened to be). I just thought of him too much, I realised that it was more like an obsession, so I distanced myself for a while to regain some of my composure. I got somewhat calmer after that. I decided to try and just be myself, because every time I saw him and had a chance to go and talk to him I always felt like I had to say the "right" thing, look god, be fun or whatever, impress him in other words. When I finally realised that I didn't need to put on a good act it started to get easier to talk to him, or even just look at him.

So obvioulsy my advice to you would be that you have to just calm down and accept yourself as who you are. Then you will be more confident when you approach her.

[CynicalGuitarist]

Are you interested in dating her?

 

I assume the shaking is a sign of attraction, lol, but maybe if you were specific I could help out.

 

Well, yes (which is odd, considering how cynical, bitter, and minimalistic I am when it comes to romance) but of course, I've never been good enough for any woman... ever. That, and whenever I'm rejected I become borderline functional and even more pessimistic than I already am. Whenever I'm attracted to someone, it affects me both physically (with sharp pains in my stomach and rapid heartbeats) and mentally (with constant moodswings, snapping sometimes, daydreaminess, and my attention span shortening even worse than it already is) and so I'm in a lot of despair and anxiety as of late, and it more than kind of hurts.

[Raize]

Well, yes (which is odd, considering how cynical, bitter, and minimalistic I am when it comes to romance) but of course, I've never been good enough for any woman... ever. That, and whenever I'm rejected I become borderline functional and even more pessimistic than I already am. Whenever I'm attracted to someone, it affects me both physically (with sharp pains in my stomach and rapid heartbeats) and mentally (with constant moodswings, snapping sometimes, daydreaminess, and my attention span shortening even worse than it already is) and so I'm in a lot of despair and anxiety as of late, and it more than kind of hurts.

 

You're not the only one CG. As much as I try to 'get on' with life, I share this same kind of unavoidable anxiety and moodswings largely just over my complete void of romance in my life. I do have things that I normally like to do such as composing muzak, hanging out with friends etc, but when I am constantly so anxious and thinking about this stuff, it really does affect the things I normally love to do.

[AuthenticAuthor]

It sounds to me like you're suffering from a minor stomach ulcer. I still have those now and then, and they can be triggered by negative stress, very likely from your anxieties surrounding this woman. Take a few tums, and drink some hot tea to relax yourself.

 

If you think you have it tough, I think I have it worse. In the past month I've developed some chest pains that have caused me to lose some precious hours of sleep a day, and at times it does feel as if my heart just stops beating. Of course, I already know it's a reaction to the stress that's been compounded on top of me; college finals are always headaches. Fortunately for me, it's the awareness of my condition that keeps this stress in check.

[CrazyKing]

Why can't you just try to talk to her like she was just a human being and not something meant to carry your baby...??? That's why I had problems talking to girls until I was about 20...

[CynicalGuitarist]

Why can't you just try to talk to her like she was just a human being and not something meant to carry your baby...??? That's why I had problems talking to girls until I was about 20...

 

it's not that simple. It's not like I don't WANT to do it, but dealing with the outcome might pay a major toll on my mental and physical health. Sounds ridiculous, but I don't want to be that way. Last time I was rejected, I was so un-functional, I had to withdraw almost all of my college classes because I felt so lousy.

[CrazyKing]

it's not that simple. It's not like I don't WANT to do it, but dealing with the outcome might pay a major toll on my mental and physical health. Sounds ridiculous, but I don't want to be that way. Last time I was rejected, I was so un-functional, I had to withdraw almost all of my college classes because I felt so lousy.

Try changing that, it ain't that hard to do...

 

Usually guys get rejected maybe a dozen times until they get one...

[AuthenticAuthor]

Well, if you're suffering from physical pains from this issue, I HIGHLY recommend you see your university's counselor, if any exist. You can gain valuable information on how to deal with this stress from a professional. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just confide with someone in private to work out your issues. Meanwhile, learn to relax. Go to a masseuse or a spa for a while. It sounds like you need a vacation.

[CynicalGuitarist]

Try changing that, it ain't that hard to do...

 

Usually guys get rejected maybe a dozen times until they get one...

 

It ain't hard to do? Easy for you to say... we're all different, and I just happen to have this anxiety.

 

Well, if you're suffering from physical pains from this issue, I HIGHLY recommend you see your university's counselor, if any exist. You can gain valuable information on how to deal with this stress from a professional. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just confide with someone in private to work out your issues. Meanwhile, learn to relax. Go to a masseuse or a spa for a while. It sounds like you need a vacation.

 

I'm not going to school right now. I suck at it. I suck so bad at it I can't even get into a university if the basis of my molecular structure depended on it. I hate sitting in class all day trying to force my useless ADHD-ridden self to pay attention to some old dude/chick ramble on and on about something I could care less about. I've seen lots of "professionals" and not even THEY know what to do with me.

 

I'd LOVE to go on a vacation... but I'm running out of money ('cause of other problems I have) and I have a little something called WORK that I have to do to MAKE that money... and unfortunately this girl works within view of me, so I can't keep my eyes off of her. So, no matter what, my life is just a no-win situation... guess I gotta suffer 'cause I'm too chicken-crap to kill myself.

[AuthenticAuthor]

I'm not going to school right now. I suck at it. I suck so bad at it I can't even get into a university if the basis of my molecular structure depended on it. I hate sitting in class all day trying to force my useless ADHD-ridden self to pay attention to some old dude/chick ramble on and on about something I could care less about. I've seen lots of "professionals" and not even THEY know what to do with me.

 

ADHD? Is that something to do with Attention-Deficit disorder?

 

I'd LOVE to go on a vacation... but I'm running out of money ('cause of other problems I have) and I have a little something called WORK that I have to do to MAKE that money... and unfortunately this girl works within view of me, so I can't keep my eyes off of her. So, no matter what, my life is just a no-win situation... guess I gotta suffer 'cause I'm too chicken-crap to kill myself.

 

When I mean "vacation", I mean a vacation from your worries. You don't have to be fancy about it; just think deeply on what it is that you really NEED versus what you WANT. The HOW is up to you, of course.

 

I wonder if there ever was an optimistic bone in your body to begin with. If you have other problems to deal with, prioritize yourself! Forget the woman and deal with your financial situations first. Call family members for some support if you have to. You're still young and it makes no sense to feel overwhelmed when all you need to do is separate your needs from your wants and put your plans into action. You're still alive aren't you?!

 

Your fear has become your own personal crutch, and if you're looking for sympathy from me you'll have none of it until you decide to look into yourself and see the potential that you have. There are people that are homeless out there who have better self-esteem than you do; if they can do it surely you can too. And some of these people are homeless out of CHOICE! That has to say something about how unafraid they are in deciding for themselves how to be happy.

[CynicalGuitarist]

I wonder if there ever was an optimistic bone in your body to begin with.

 

Believe it or not, I was tons happier before puberty hit... sure, maybe worried about global warming and peak oil maybe... but now I embrace those two things and can't wait for that to wipe 90% of the population off the face of this piece of crap excuse for a planet... I hope I'm one of the lucky 90%

 

But yeah... I prefer that paranoia over my piece of crap lady problems.

[thejigsup]

Just say,"Hi!" Most people don't shy away from someone who smiles and introduces him/herself. It's one word. Isn't asking for a date or anything. You can do it, I know you can! She can't reject Hello, she'll most likely say it right back at you and the ice will be broken.