"Guess how old I am"

[itsallgrand]

This isn't really serious at all. Just more of an observation lately.

 

Since I've opened myself up to giving dating a shot again, it seems that I have encountered a lot more of this question than I ever can remember in the past.

 

"Guess how old I am". says the man.

 

Is it only me, or is this a strange and awkward thing to ask?

 

When someone asks me my age, I simply tell them (if it's appropriate). I don't make it a guessing game, and I don't wait for the other person to answer first every single time. It depends on the flow of the conversation.

 

It just strikes me as odd. Basically - please just bloody tell me and let me make up my mind on my own. Let's get it out there ; and see if there is a possibility of a date early on. This 'game' sucks!

 

As a woman, I totally avoid asking a man to guess... I've seen friends do it, and it just feel it leaves the wrong impression.

 

Ok, don't get me wrong. I don't read a novel into it. But I'm curious what other people have to say about this.

 

This thread is triggered by my latest experience where the man asked me to guess, I joked around about it , then he said "No, seriously, guess"...so I did..and it was under his age but an honest guess on my part...then he says "No, I'm old. Too old for you I guess". in a half joking, half inquiring look to me way.

 

Turns out he was 43. He looked, honestly, in his early 30's. So yeah, I was a bit taken aback.

 

I guess I'm just a wee bit disappointed ..he had asked me out, then pulled back with a "well here's my number if you still want to get together on X"...

 

?! Well then.

 

To be honest, didn't really expect this from men. Especially grown ones!- (I know, I know! Welcome to reality. )

[Mr.Mister]

I would hate it if someone said "guess how old i am" because that leaves it open for lying big time. If I say an age that is much younger, they may just go with that or something close to it. I don't like dating liars.

[bulletproof]

It makes me cringe when people say that. It just sounds like someone's fishing for a compliment, which makes me uncomfortable. It also creates a potentially awkward situation for the guesser. I don't think putting someone on the spot has any place in flirting.

[itsallgrand]

^ Yes, that occurred to me too.

 

An adjustment in the age they say to fit with what they figure is acceptable to you.

 

Mostly though, the men who have asked me have come accross as insecure about their ages. To be honest.

 

Though some may have been liars.

[lilypadgirl]

Yeah, I think it's cuz they are insecure about their ages or how their age might match with yours. If your guess of their age is/isn't far off, that's some indication about whether your acceptable/unacceptable age gap. Like if you thought he was 43 and since he really is, it doesn't change your expectations of him or you agreeing to the date means you're okay with the age gap. But if you guessed 30, he might be worried that the age gap is too unexpected/unacceptable.

 

That's happened to me on a date with a 37 year old. He looked around 30 and I look younger than my age. So I think he was a little worried about the age gap.

[itsallgrand]

I guessed 32. LOL.

 

That's what I get for being honest. That was my honest guess, not an indication of what age gap is acceptable.

 

But the insecurity made the age a moot point. I was excited to go for coffee up until that point!

 

Just ridiculous.

[musicguy]

Guess how old I am?? XD

[livinginsbi]

I would NEVER put that question out there! What if someone said I looked 50 - I'd be crushed for days!

[JadedStar]

LOL. you have really had more than one guy ask you this? How strange!

 

Tell him 84.

 

LOL I totally would if i was asked that. Then i'd laugh about it afterwards of course.

[itsallgrand]

Seriously more than one. Maybe I'm attracting low self esteem dudes or bad boys or who knows what? lol.

 

Nah, just a whole mix.

 

I am totally going to use that, Jaded. LOL. I likes it, I likes it a lot.

[Miss Firecracker]

I think you are running into some men who are in love with themselves. bleh

[itsallgrand]

^ Thanks, that helps. I think you may be right.

 

Seeing how that is my pattern (gravitating to big ego monsters) - that's important info to know.

[Portage]

As long as they don't ask you to pull their finger upon meeting

[JadedStar]

I have an opposite experience a lot. When people find out i have a grandaughter, and one, i look younger than i am and two, i am yuonger than most grandmas, i always handle the question of " A GRANDCHILD, WHAT? HOW OLD ARE YOU? by saying...

 

I am 65, and laugh and say see what no smoking and working out does for you?

 

I like watching their mouths drop when i say I am 65.

 

I know they are not being mean or rude when they say it, and it is very flattering. I just like to try to shock people on occasion. lol

[musicguy]

a few years ago my mom's friend thought I was 15

[itsallgrand]

 

 

lol. People sometimes can just blow the mind.

[musicguy]

yeah, she asked if I was still in school XD

[Kinetics]

In my case, the girl first asks, and then I counter it with the question: so how old do you think I am? Yes, it does put her on the spot, but I think most girls I've asked are pretty smart about it.

 

Many guess 4-5 years younger than my actual age, I don't know if they really think I look younger, or it's their way of trying to make the guy feel good (especially a store clerk!). Then again, when I throw the question and ask how old my friend looks, they think he's older when in fact, younger than I am. So I dunno, maybe they are honest girls after all and I should take it as a compliment

[ghost69]

i've done it. no big deal. but women ask 'how old are you?' i say 'how old do you think i am?' they usually say 23/24. i'm like

[livinginsbi]

so ghost, how old are you?

[ghost69]

guess. lol

[livinginsbi]

hmmm, by your picture, I would guess somewhere about 10-12

[ghost69]

dam ur good.

[JadedStar]

Ghost i peg you as being about 25.

[ghost69]

i'm over 25. but let's get back to the thread.