i hate being led on.do you?

[sparkly]

im a nice girl.this guy knew i liked him and he acted interested.all attention was on me,we had common interests.he was always flirting and so was i.other people commented on our flirting too. then he left,didnt ask for my number and gotwith some other girl. i feel like an idiot.i hate being led on.he had also asked me out a few times and was always poking me to get my attention.so am i not good enough?

[Ammy]

I hate it too, those stupid mixed messages...

 

Maybe he did it to make himself feel like a real stud, or perhaps to make you jealous, or perhaps because he gets pleasure out of hurting people.. whatever his reasons though, it's unacceptable and he's not the type of a guy that is ready to be mature... He seems like a player, you deserve better.

 

No point analysing this situation (easier said than done!)... just realise he's not a nice guy and move on and find someone better!

 

Ammy

[Batya33]

I don't think flirting is leading on. It's flirting. Leading on to me -- in the early stages of getting to know someone -- is when a person asks another person out on a date when he or she doesn't intend on going on the date. Or perhaps if the person says "I will call you on tuesday to plan something for the weekend" with no intention of calling. That's the point - if the person intends to go on on the date at the time he or she asks or intends to call but then changes her mind later on that's not leading on.

 

Or if the one being flirted with expresses clear romantic interest, and the flirter has no intention of following through but keeps on flirting regularly - that's just plain mean.

 

People are allowed to flirt as you described it here and in several threads you started. They are not leading you on, they are just having harmless fun. Even married people harmlessly flirt.

 

If you asked him out on a date or told him you were interested in dating him in a clear and direct way (not just in a flirty way) and he continued to flirt with you even though he was not interested, that would be mean of course.

 

all that happened here is he talked to you, decided he wasn't that into you and didn't want to see you again and decided that another girl was a better match for him. That's not leading on - it takes time to get to know someone.

[sparkly]

thats kinda what he did though.he says oh yeah we'll catch up sometime for sure and then doesnt bother. why say that when he had no intention to do that

[Batya33]

thats kinda what he did though.he says oh yeah we'll catch up sometime for sure and then doesnt bother. why say that when he had no intention to do that

 

That's a throwaway vague line - that's not leading on. Do you mean every time I run into an acquaintance and say "yeah, we should get coffee sometime!" that she thinks I will definitely call her to make a plan? I am referring to "Please give me your number so I can call you and make plans to go out on a date next weekend" - then the expectation is that he will call for a date next weekend. A vague "we'll catch up sometime" is the same as saying "see you around."

[savannahohsavannah]

This happens a lot with romance. You think someone is interested and then they don't follow up. The lady who posted right after you had some great ideas on why this might have happened. But I hear that you are feeling disappointed and angry at it. Please, don't be. Don't waste your precious time on this type of problem. It's a small disappointment, although I know it doesn't feel like it sometimes when you're feeling a bit smitten.

 

The lesson to learn here is to take a wait and see attitude.

 

Just my .04 cents price adjusted for inflation!

 

Savannah

[annie24]

maybe he has a gf and that's why he didn't ask for your number? there are a million reasons as to what happened. i've been disappointed to when i've met a guy somewhere, and we seem to be hitting it off... then nothing! you never know. maybe his ex-gf or his ex-gf's sister walked into the bar and he didn't want them to see him hit on you? i'd forget him and move forward.

[drewciouS281]

the guy is just trying to play the game and be smooth. the more options he has the better but i agree with batya. You shouldnt look too into his gestures of contacting you. I tell people all the time tha we should hang soon or maybe get together this weekend but sometimes things come up and im not able to make it. You would think it would be polite enough for me to call them back to cancel but either i just plainly forget or im not as interested in them. Now my opinion if he was really interested in you he would not set you aside like this so you should just say screw him and cut him off. Then i bet you will see him chasing you because of the hard to get game but dude sounds like a typical playa. I know cause i "WAS" one and i did the same things.

[ghost69]

how are you so attached to a guy you barely know? i think you should think about that rather than him.

[Gratsy]

I've been lead on before. Sometimes its just because the guy is confused, sometimes it is you.

Usually its done by insensitive men who are unaware of your feelings, they're more interested in their own.

 

Its not because you're lacking anything...maybe you were raised differently, he doesn't like blondes/brunettes, you remind him of his mom etc...you never know. Don't take it personal, please. Its not you, its him.

[Gratsy]

This happens a lot with romance. You think someone is interested and then they don't follow up. The lady who posted right after you had some great ideas on why this might have happened. But I hear that you are feeling disappointed and angry at it. Please, don't be. Don't waste your precious time on this type of problem. It's a small disappointment, although I know it doesn't feel like it sometimes when you're feeling a bit smitten.

 

The lesson to learn here is to take a wait and see attitude.

 

Just my .04 cents price adjusted for inflation!

 

Savannah

 

I like this post...I agree.