Compliments which really aren't

[xika5]

Ok so I have a far away friend with whom I talk to once in a while. Sometimes he’ll tell me he sees someone who reminds him so much of me. He tells me she reminds him of me because she’s so pretty, brunette, thin…etc. I know he means it as a compliment, but isn’t this the worst compliment somebody can receive, being compared to somebody else? I hate it. I think everyone likes to think they are unique and one in a million so when somebody tells me “Oh every time I see a thin, dark-haired pretty girl I remember you,” I don’t really take it as a compliment. I really hate it. I would never tell that to somebody, even if the person I was comparing them to was really attractive, because I wouldn’t like making anybody feel not special or unique, or make them wonder hmm I wonder what that other person looked like.

 

So what about you guys, have you ever received a "compliment" but that to you really wasn't?

[Miss M]

I get your point of wanting to feel unique and special, but in this case, maybe he's saying he's got you on his mind so much that everywhere he looks he sees reminders of you. It could be that he's thinking ONLY of you, and so he sees you reflected in everybody, because he can't get you off his mind.

 

I saw a man yesterday that immediately reminded me of a dear relative that I miss seeing. Except for a couple of features he really looked nothing like my relative, but there I was just staring at him, while longing for my loved one.

 

I'm not really sure if that's it either, but that's just one other possibility.

 

And it doesn't just happen with people.... when I got a new car, suddenly every car just like mine (or even similar to mine) caught my attention and stood out from all the rest.

 

So again, it's not necessarily a bad thing.

[JadedStar]

I think you are looking at it the wrong way...this is his way of saying you are on his mind....when we think of something or someone many things bring them to mind. I think it truly is a flattering compliment.

[CarnelianButterfly]

My BF says things like that and I think its sweet. To me it means he's always seeing part of me in people. I'm on his mind to the point that he gets nostalgic over little details in people he meets.

 

I don't think it takes away any of my uniqueness.

 

I do it, too. There's a guy that I know that reminds me so much of my BF, being around him makes me want my BF all the more. He's got a likeness, but he's not the man I love and adore.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I agree with the others. My bf misses me a lot because we are in an LDR. He'll sometimes say that he was walking down the street and saw a pretty brunette girl and thought for sure it was me. He says it drives him crazy how I'm always walking around in his mind.

 

Take it as a compliment that he not only thinks you are pretty and thin, but also that he constantly looks for you subconsciously.

[Hunny1607307342]

yah i agree with wolf.

think of it this way- if you WERENT unique he wouldn't bother looking out for people to compare you with

[Carnatic]

I think the classic 'compliment that isn't a compliment' that men will perhaps be more familiar with is if a girl says you are 'nice'... which is usually code for 'boring'. Sometimes 'cute' is used to mean 'ugly' as well... though it can also mean attractive so not so easy that one.

[ghost69]

that means he has your image burned in his head. he said she has some of your features. plenty of people say they see guys that somewhat resemble me. even my mother. she said some guy at her gym looks like me. doesn't mean i was compared. i tell female friends all the time, 'i saw this girl that looked just like you'. it's not a comparison. just like a car. when i own a type of car, i seem to notice them on the street more. like 'oh they have one of my cars too.' it's association not comparison.