Is this an inferiority complex?

[Geno101]

I was completely clueless about where to put this thread, but. I was wondering...

 

Okay, me and my friend (male) went out today, and there was a waitress working near our table. We both were infatuated with her "features" and we talked about her and stared at her all night. He eventually began to egg me on to talk to her, half seriously, half jokingly. I never did, not because of fear, or anything of the sort, but i really felt like she was out of my league. She wasn't even very much older than me, but it felt as if she was somehow TOO old for me. Its just something i do where i look at people and immediately rate their level of maturity, and while im not at all immature, it just seems as if this female was too mature to be with me. (I am known to behave as if i am way older than i actually am. I always have been this way.)

 

I chalked it up to not having the proper funds to date her, and the possibility that she was raking in more cash than i am (not that theres a problem with that for me, but i personally think a lot of girls would subconsciously look down on me for that), and the fact that i still live at home with my mom (im 19 y.o.). I know these things are somewhat bad reasons, but they really bother me sometimes. If not that, they play a very big part in the way i decide who to go after all the time.

 

He disagreed and contested my reasonings with his own, and many other people have disagreed with my reasonings before. His MAIN defense though, was that i didnt know any of those things. That i was simply guessing, or just talking with no real evidence to these assumptions. And after he said that, it made me think that maybe i was making myself out to be "smaller" than i actually am subconsciously somehow. It only happens with females though. A lot of times, a girl would catch my eye and i'd simply think that i wasn't right for HER. That i wouldn't be man enough, or socially/financially advanced enough for her, so to speak. I feel like im not enough of a man to deal with certain women, even some that are my age or even maybe a year or 2 younger. I just dont know what it is.

 

The only time that i actually feel comfortable approaching a girl is if she comes off as extremely humble and generous in a way that she would be appreciative of small things and not be concerned about my "Status".

 

So... is this some sort of inferiority complex, or what..?

[Boughtandpaidfor]

Sounds like you are, like everyone else, terrified of failure,rejection, and risk, and prefer to play it safe. The reasons why you didn't speak to girl might just boil down to that. It's nothing to worry about because its a normal way to feel. But realising it helps! I hope you don'T think I'm putting you down because I'm not- I'm saying (not in a cynical way either) that this is the way people are and realising it, and thereforeeee slowly being a little less terrified and a little less safe, is ten times better I reckon.

[Boughtandpaidfor]

.... and being 19, and living at home, are excuses rather than reasons to not ask out a waitress. But dont waste time beating yourself up about excuses you formulated to excuse yourself- focus on the real reason- fear! Everyone's got it!

 

.... I have yet to do any work today because I'm scared of facing the day and the computer lets me hide. I'm turning ti off.......now!