How did I become the problem?

[HellFrost666]

I know I have started a lot of threads lately. Please bare with me.

 

Today it suddeny occurred to me that I am chasing my girlfriend's friends away. I am not trying to. I don't even really understand it.

 

When I met her it was a mutual friend who introduced us. Well, my girlfriend was really close to this mutual friend. They rarely went a whole day without seeing eachother or at least talking on the phone. Then I entered the picture and their friendship started deteriorating. This friend of ours was always telling my girlfriend that being with me was a mistake, etc. It got to the point where they had this huge falling out and now they haven't spoken in almost a year and will probably never speak again.

 

And then she has this one close male friend, also that she knew long before me. Well, thanks to recent events they have started drifting apart also. I could go into more detail here but I don't really want to in the public forum, so if you are really that curious feel free to PM me, I'll talk in private. But like the other friend, it's not even that I did anything.

 

I just know that this will be two that have dropped off since her and I got together. I know she isn't the problem. I guess I just don't want her to end up completely friendless and quietly resent me for it.

[KG]

"Frost,

When 2 people start a relationship, the dynamic changes, whether you want it to or not.

She was single, now she's with you. I don't mean it's a bad thing, but her priorities have changed. Give her as much space as you can, to be with her "single before I met him friends". It happens all the time.

There was a girl I was interested in, a short while ago, didn't like my "baggage", hooked up with a guy I know. He looks like she is eating him alive, everytime I see them out together. Like, "What did I do to desereve this?"

Give her room to breathe.

[greensleeves]

It could be that they're just drifting apart...it happens sometimes, especially when people start coupling off. Have either of these guys recently started seeing new women?

[HellFrost666]

Well actually one of them is a girl and she's married. The guy friend has been single for eons.

 

In response to KG: She wasn't single when I met her. That's a whole other story.

 

I really think I give her plenty of breathing room. We've been together 2 1/2 years. This has just started recently. Idk...

[melrich]

Are you friendly when you meet these people?

[HellFrost666]

^ Well yea. The first one was a mutual friend, so I was friends with her too.

 

The guy friend and I have never had a problem until recently.

 

Like I mentioned, I don't even think it's something I did. I just feel bad about it because she knew both of them for so long before me. Maybe this is just too complicated to expect an outright answer, idk.

[CarnelianButterfly]

If she really cares about you and her friend was telling her it was a mistake that was probably what made them drift apart. She obviously picked you over the friend that was against your relationship.

 

The other friend could have been interested in her, but has seen you are a serious fixture in her life and has bowed out of the friendzone.

 

There are times when friends drift apart and like KG said relationships change the dynamics. Even if she was in other relationships, your relationship could be different.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Yeh - its nothing you did dude. It happens.

 

Over and over and over again.

 

Don't even feel bad. Feel happy. If she starts distancing herself from your realtionship, THEN feel bad.

 

Right now, just be there as the understanding bf who feels sort of bad and sympathises with her.

 

But really, I don't know one person who doesn't know the loss of friendship either due to or in close proximity to relationships.....