My "dating" life or something

[John14087]

Ok so I can't stop thinking about past "dates" so I'll try to remember them, hopefully putting it down will make me feel better.

So the first one was about 9th grade in high school. She was pretty and quiet, my friend hooked us up. I was such a coward however that I could hardly talk to her, I had her friend pass notes for us. Low and behold we had a date at the movies, it was a group thing. I was so terrified, I could not even sit next to her. I ended up sitting near someone else. After the movie ended, I was so ashamed of myself, I ended up walking home about a mile and cried myself to sleep.

Second was a real dream girl for me. She had pretty blond hair and was an absolute bombshell. A mutual friend told me she thought I was hot, So we set up at date. She came over more than once and hung out. But knowing myself for such a coward, I didn't make a move even when she found my brothers stash of porn and started looking at it when we were alone together, WUSS!!

Next one is a little strange. I was sitting minding my own business at my house (what a surprise!) when the doorbell rang. It was one of those people who sell newspapers for school or whatever. She was an English girl who had a real heavy accent, cute though. I really didn't want to buy a newspaper but she said her education depended on it, so I agreed for a subscription. She looked at me and said (I'm paraphrasing here) You're cute can I come in? So I let her in, but of course I'm so naive I didn't make a move on her. I'll say it again more so for myself. SHE SAID I WAS HOT AND I LET HER INTO MY HOUSE, BUT I DIDN"T MAKE A MOVE!!!

Last one, I really don't want to talk about. Pretty much she likes older guys. She stood me up recently and we were friends on myspace, so I deleted her from it and her number from my phone. i got a few texts from her a couple days ago, but I knew that was the end of our "thing". I think she found another flavor of the month or whatever. It pretty much started going downhill the night she came into my work to see me. She didn't admit it, but I know that was the reason. She didn't even say hello or anything when she came in and left without saying goodbye!

So there you have it. I pretty much can't get a date because I'm too scared to make a move, even when I'm told that they like me. When I get numbers, I make idiotic small talk and sometimes, all I can manage to do is text them. I think I will be single forever if things keep going the way they they are! Scratch that, I will be single forever. I'm coming to terms with that fact little by little every day. It's hard but my thinking is, if it would have happened, it would have happened already.