Surdid Tales from Hell

[Cynder]

 

image removed

 

I saw this and about lost it. Had to stifle my burst of laughter because it would be kinda hard to explain why I am laughing to my co-workers.

 

What really did it for me was the stripper tassels!

[tiredofvampires]

^I know, yeah? That's a freakin' riot! Thank goodness you got caught with "indecent" material before I did -- you trailblazer, you!! I could have put up my painting as my first avvy, and think what that would have brought....nudity AND religion, YIKES!!!!!!

[tiredofvampires]

They really wanted us to think for ourselves. So, I never considered myself sheltered, but I can see how other people might.

 

Well, that sounds pretty healthy, then...

 

 

I know that. (Remember I almost became one.) I am not sure what Sect my sister beylongs to. But honestly I don't even think she knows what sect she beylongs to anymore, or if she even beylong to a sect. I do know a lot of Buddhists (at least the ones I've known) also practice something else.) Since Buddhism doen't rely on the worship of any God, they can apply their phillosophy to any other faith. I know a few Catholic Buddhists, actually.

 

LOL, I knew that you knew that...hope that didn't come out like I was dumbing you down or anything -- I just was inspired to mention that atheists and Buddhists are pretty much one and the same. Except in the more cultish forms of Buddhism, which are not my bag. But I suppose what you're saying to distinguish your two siblings is that one is not practicing anything at all, but is just a non-believer and nonpractitioner of anything, and the other actually follows some sort of "practice", even though it's not theistic. Thought that distinction was worth making, anyhow. And yes, you are absolutely right about Buddhism being applicable to other philosophies, in practice. I used to go on silent meditation retreats (Buddhist) and we had a Catholic nun that would join us. Many of the contemplative religious practices have meditation that dovetails very well with Buddhism, and there is that classic Catholic image of the monk with a skull on his writing desk. That reminder of our mortality and impermanence is universal, really.

 

There ARE a few things though, in Buddhism, in the philosophy, that eventually would clash with religion, and namely those are the theistic vs. atheistic components. As you know, in Buddhism we are driven by the components of our own minds, and after death, our sense stores and physical forms are all scattered and become immaterial. So there is no God to reach, no resting place in heaven. That DOES not fit with many religions, especially the Christian ones. Something does continue though in Buddhism, so I guess that's where the difference lies with pure atheism and humanism. Karma does continue, which is an extension of all we've done in this life and will do in the next (assuming we haven't been enlightened enough to just get off the merry-go-round of existence, OR decided that even though we are enlightened enough to do so, we choose to come back to alleviate the suffering of others, which is what a bodhisattva is.) So, no chance in Hell (scuze the reference) I'm done here, or done period, even though I am not going to Heaven. Lol.

 

Well... (To any Buddhists reading this please don't take offense)... The main thing was all the emphasis on suffering.

 

You see here, this is pretty interesting. First of all, I'm reading this and I'm inclined to Buddhism (as you know -- but I wouldn't really call myself A Buddhist, since I just don't like to identify with a hard-and-fast label of any kind...metalchik comes closest, but haha, I digress). And I don't find this offensive at all. (One thing I like about Buddhists is that if they are really practicing their talk, they are NOT about other people having to agree with them. Even Buddha said, "Don't take it from me -- figure out if these things hold true to you when you investigate them. Be a light unto yourselves. Don't believe me if this doesn't work for you.") I think that the emphasis on suffering is the #1 thing that turns people off from it. But I think that this is a misunderstood point, if you don't mind my stating my thoughts on this. I know you studied this, so you were exposed to all this already. But the way I see it is, Buddhism is about the means for us to examine the nature of reality and our minds so that we can STOP the suffering that we experience. It is about learning how to cope, basically, with the constantly changing and unpredictable nature of life and the problems is deals out. While suffering is a basic premise in Buddhism, the actual doing of it is about investigating where that's coming from and thereforeeee dissolving it when we see into the nature of life. And so far, I've found these things as indisputable as it gets. I can't prove there's a God, or who he/she/it is (or for that matter, that there ISN'T one, hence why I am no longer an atheist exactly), I can't prove there's an afterlife, but I do have proof on my very own plate that I suffer because I cling to things I want and push things away that I don't want. That is all that is meant about the "suffering" and when I look around me I can't see that it's untrue for anyone. I can buy into that because I see it's true. Even though there is fun and happiness and joy, too, which Buddhism doesn't deny and in fact encourages people to find, it says when you grip onto it for dear life and get scared that it's going to go away, or you'll lose it, that's where the trouble (and suffering) comes into play. Again, I can't deny this is the case, it seems to be pretty true. One look around these boards is enough to convince me that we are pretty much all clinging to things, identities that are self-concocted, changing fate, etc, situations we can't have anymore and is this not suffering? Okay, I'm just having fun talking about the way I see it, so don't take it as me preaching, ok? LOL...

 

I think perhaps -- just perhaps -- one of the reasons some philosophies start to fail us is exactly what you are talking about: where do you go for peace and consolation when the S hits the fan? When you really are lost, in pain, in dire straits? I don't know enough about Satanism to talk to it intelligently, so I should probably read its Bible, or whatever material you think lays it out most clearly (I'm surprised how little is on the Net that really is informative.) But I think one thing that makes a faith complete -- not just a philosophy -- is to give a person direction when life becomes painful and hard to go on. People of religious faith leave it in the hands of god, to relieve themselves of the burden and having a safe haven to care for them. I totally respect that. And think they are in ways lucky. I think over the course of my years (I used to be a devout atheist myself!), I have been leaning more and more towards a concept of "The Divine" as a result of all my spiritual experiences and questing combined. But I do think it's very important for a faith of any kind to have a system for dealing with those times you need a rope to grab onto in the darkness, to emotionally and spiritually comfort you. If it's not a God who protects and watches over you, what is it? I think there has to be something, for MOST people, anyway, to turn to. In Buddhism it's the remembering through quiet focus that what is happening right now is going to change, that change is inherent in life, and that whatever we are clutching at is an illusion. For me this brings peace to my tormented mind, just as a God figure brings peace to someone else. I am wondering if what you are describing as your need, as unfulfilled in Satanism, has a lot to do with this. Is there a way for humans to deal with the problems they are dealt and stay sane through it? I can see why if that's not in there, just the attractive philosophy about human nature may be incomplete for spiritual needs to be met.

 

I might agree a lot, from what I understand, about the basic tenets of Satanism (i.e., the baseness of human nature), but I still think I need something to help me COPE....

 

Also, I'm not sure why suffering, per se, is a darker theme to ascribe to than that humans are base creatures, like animals...hmmm. Just wondering aloud, Frostmeister. If you prefer, I can PM you with all this, but since this is your Journal, I thought the convo might be interesting for others. I am not at all easily offended, as "a Buddhist" and as just me, lol, by anything you disagree with, theologically or ideologically.

 

 

[HellFrost666]

TOV, I'll PM you.

[HellFrost666]

Infected by invalid behaviour

While capturing the stench of divine putrefaction

Confess to slavery for the world saviour

Give praise and inhale the corruption

 

The Enfeebled provides the fool

The Disabled provides the tool

The Apathetic demands the affection

To those suffering from their own satisfaction

 

Devour in self-deceit, conjure the righteous plague

Testify today's contradiction, glorify tomorrows deed

Inconceivable moral priest, hide in preferable dress

Invite to another pleasure feast, the concealment of joyful laughter

 

The decrepit innocence of your correctness and well-chosen

Elicits the source of the need for immediate forgiveness

Submit to no grace but the spiteful of your disease

Apply to join the unlimited disgrace and a settlement in the skies

And turn the confusion among your children into self-stimulation

The incarnation of your prostitution, the true Evil in disguise

 

With the ignorance from your cross as the witness

The truth of your tragedy make you justice

In your mirror the high spirit of kindness

Looks like malice

 

Condemnation of life by the living dead

What a premature judgement, contradiction to the core

How unfortunate I am, cursed to spend time on a battle already won

The shame that will be guarding your grave says it all

Retreat to the crypt and make it worthwhile

Recall my sins furthermore but still be watching yours with a smile.

[Cynder]

The name of this thread would be a good name for some Metal Concept Album...

[HellFrost666]

Lol, this thread was almost called Frostitution... but I didn't think it would go over well with the Mods.

[greensleeves]

Hellfrost....what's this from?

[Cynder]

Lol, this thread was almost called Frostitution... but I didn't think it would go over well with the Mods.

 

That's pretty clever. But your right, I doubt they would've stod for it.

[HellFrost666]

I want to post something new in here... but I honestly can't think of anything to write about.

 

... ... ... Yea...

[greensleeves]

Hellfrost, my son (Grade 10) has to do a CD cover and project for media arts at school. I told him your user name and he's building the whole project around it. You will now have a pretend band named after you

[HellFrost666]

^ Oh man! I am really flattered, seriously.

 

Let me see it when he's done, I might use it for an avatar, lol.

 

My girlfriend is an artist and she has done a few CD covers.

[HellFrost666]

I was just thinking about something... I wonder how many people use this forum for intorspection. (I hope introspection is the right word...)

 

Especially the people who have been here a long time. Am I the only one who goes back sometimes and reads ancient threads and think what an idiot I sounded like? Ok, I didn't sound like an idiot in every single one, but in some. Some of them I think how trivial this was? And when it was happening this situation was upsetting enough to warrant an entire thread? Why?

 

But that's all I have to ramble about at the moment. My girlfriend is working tonight and I am feeling lonely.

[HellFrost666]

I just got an Email from a former co worker at my old Job... I was let go from there for the wrong reasons. I know a lot of people who get fired from jobs say that, but I really do believe it. I was there for four years. It was my first job out of college And seemingly out of the blue, they fired me. Some of my friends on here knew me then and know the more detailed version of the story...

 

But anyway, this guy I used to work with sent me this email and told me they just fired him over a simalar siutation.. But even funnier yet, he told me the guy they hired to replace me is in the process of suing them.

 

Karma... no escaping it.

[HellFrost666]

So, here I am, wide awake a 2AM when I have to be up at 5:30 AM...

 

I have been an insomniac since childhood. INsomnia is such a misunderstood condition, really. When I got for two days without any sleep one of my friends will tell me I look tired. I tell them I am tired, I've been awake for two days. They always ask me why? If I had a choice in the matter do they really think I would do this on purpose...

 

When I was a kid I used to get in trouble for it. My Mom would walk by m bedroom door and see that I was still awake and be like "Your still awake... GO TO SLEEP!"

 

And now it's affecting me at work more then it ever has because I not only have a desk job, but I work in the dark. Litterally. I won't go into the details of why my office has to be kept dark, but it does and the reasons are relevent. We have big leather couches in the breakroom and I have spent so many luch breaks on them asleep. I can't sleep at all at night... then I go to work really tired and I can't stay awake. People have told me I need to get some YellowJackets to help me stay focused at work. That's insane. If people knew the true side effects of pills like Yellowjackets they would never take them. And people also tell me I should try Ambien, Lunesta, etc. Once again... Ambien makes people crazy and Lunesta is too new to understand or discover any negative side effects.

 

Melatonin works well... But I am careful with it because sometimes if I take it too late at night I can't wake up the next morning. I've actually called off sick from work due to the Melatonin hangover. That's why I am sitting here typing this post and not popping Melatonin right now. Because I know if I take it now I won't wake up tomorrow morning.

 

So yea... Tomorrw will be a long day.

[greensleeves]

But anyway, this guy I used to work with sent me this email and told me they just fired him over a simalar siutation.. But even funnier yet, he told me the guy they hired to replace me is in the process of suing them.

 

Karma... no escaping it.

 

Haha...looks good on them

 

I have a problem with insomnia too, which explains why I'm posting this at 2:38 am. I was the same as a kid ...I think I'm just a night person forced to be a day person. Yellow jackets are horrible and they make you feel really f***ed up. My solution is to drink diet coke all day, but I know that's really bad for me too.

 

My doctor prescribed Novo-Mirtazapine OD, and it did make me sleep, but I felt completey tranquilized and drugged out the next day, so I don't recommend it. I'm going to try valerian...you can get it at health food stores and it's from a root, I'll let you know if it works. I have to do something soon, because my insomnia has been really bad for about 4 months now.

 

I pm'd you the link to Zeitgeist, I haven't watched it all yet, but so far it's pretty good. Based on the video link you sent me, I think you'll like it alot. Next time you can't sleep, it's something for you to do.

 

Hope you're sleeping well tonight!

[HellFrost666]

^ I did sleep well last night, thank you.

 

I've tried velerian. For me it worked fine the first couple times, but I seemed to develope an imunity to it really quick. That's just me though. I know it works wonders for some people.

[Cynder]

Velerian doesn't even faze me.

[greensleeves]

I guess I'll save my money then. Thanks for the info.

[Cynder]

I guess I'll save my money then. Thanks for the info.

 

Well I should also point out that Nyquil doesn't faze me either. So...

 

Maybe it's time to give Melatonin a try.

[greensleeves]

My doc had also prescibed Apo-temazepam for me in the past and it did absolutey nothing to help me sleep. What's melatonin? I think I've heard of it.

[HellFrost666]

Melatonin is a hormone that helps regulate the sleep cycle.

[greensleeves]

Oh yeah...it's the stuff in turkey I think. Do you know if you can you buy it in pill form?

[HellFrost666]

No, it's Tryptophan that's in turkey. I think you can but it in pill form.

[KillTheSilence]

hey hell. just read through your journal, really interesting stuff.

 

never knew Buddhism was still atheism. I'm interested on how it includes suffering to some degree. I'm a fairly devout Christian, and there are many chapters (sometimes entire books) that cover suffering in the bible.

 

many of the solutions end similar to this: "God will be your light in the dark."

if a friend dies, don't worry, cause God is there for you. If you become paralyzed, don't worry, God is there for you. etc, etc.

 

i think that can be a terrible submission, depending on the situation.

 

what is God's intent? for us to figure this "dark" situation out ourself?

did we create this darkness ourselves? do we unknowingly choose to stay in it?

 

anyways, i believe we cause a lot of our own suffering. i don't mean sufferings like global warming or endangered animals (although few of us actually suffer from this), i mean suffering on the personal level. depression. rejection. poor self-esteem. we dont do so intentionally, and back in the days, I was the type of person that blamed my depression on how my social or family life was going (or not going).

 

but i think the reason I did so is because i centered myself (and thereforeeee, my emotions) on those things (social life and family).

basically, I was emotionally dependent on my friends and family. I even admitted it, too. I'd tell myself: "if it weren't for my friends, I'd be dead." This was because I had some significant family issues at the time, and my friends were always my "escape" from the pain i felt.

 

i'm over that now. and that's largely because of the way i look at self-control.

back then, I claimed myself as independent (giving me the ultimate self-control) because i no longer cared about my family. all they amounted to was arguing over misunderstandings and me getting in trouble for sticking up for myself.

but how independent was I when the reason i claimed to be independent was because of my family issues? independence really just meant that i was running away from something i couldn't escape, and that isn't true independence. my emotions ran with my issues. if things went bad at home, i was depressed. if things went well at home, i had a pretty good day.

 

emotional dependence on my family. not independence.

my self-control was not what i thought it was. because of that, i was emotionally unstable (depressed, in this case).

 

 

 

my suffering came just as much from me as i claimed it came from my family.

in the words of Gandhi: "They cannot take our self-control unless we give it to them."

 

without even knowing what i was doing, i gave it to them.

same with my friends. nowadays, i feel uncomfortable saying that people "make me happy" because that's a bit of self-control i dont want other people to have. the ability to make me happy.

they can give me a good reason to be happy and then i choose to be happy, but giving them that control over my emotions is a double-edged sword, usually with the dark-sided edge being sharper than the light-sided one. i didn't change because i feared the dark edge, however. i changed because my goal was to have self-control.

 

but back then, my friends were good to me, so i never complained.

this complacency led me down a bad path once. i've gone completely against one of my moral values just because my friend wanted me to do it.

 

(more on this later, i gotta go)