He asked for it, so can you give it?

[Empathy]

it sounds like this to me--

 

his friends are probably po'ed at him for bumming off of their cell phones all the time. i mean, if he lives with them and he doesn't have another phone then he's using theirs all the time. they're probably really sick of it. when his girlfriend texts him on their phones its probably the last straw. they're gonna complain to him... and it seems he either explained it really bad or it was taken the wrong way.

 

Thank you for your input.

 

Allow me to clarify. My bf does not use his friend's cell phones. He doesn't use any cell phone unless its his own. He has not used a phone other than the land line at work since his cell broke. He'd rather drive somewhere to get information than use a friend's cell phone to call there. He's strange like that. He also spends most of his time holed up in the house playing games so, the only phone he has access to is his roommates. He doesn't bum off of any of his friends and I only texted the one person, his roommate...twice.

 

I keep saying. I wasn't texting multiple people and I wasn't doing it that much. You guys (including my bf) are making it sound like I was blowing this guy's phone up! lol.

[langford]

If my bf talked to me like that I'd never talk to him again.It's not the txting issue but the way he talks to you like you're some annoying fly he's trying to swat.You say i love you at the end and he doesnt give a toss,and why the heck is he living with his ex gf??? two buck bet she is sleeping in his bed.

[Mavh25]

The issue with you txting his friends, I understand his point of view on that, that would get kind of annoying if I was recieving txts off my friends boyfriend all the time... quite irritating, and it would'nt be because of who it is, just what it is.

 

Though, I do think your boyfriend is really condescending, and could have approached it better, but I suppose if he's had a friend down his throat about it there is'nt really any good way to approach it..... just don't do it anymore and get his phone fixed...

[Aurian]

I can see how it might be annoying to be someone's relay (his friends complaining to him), but the way he talked to you about it was bad. He just kept going on and on about it and then seemed to get upset when you agreed to stop. Like he didn`t believe you would and thus had to hammer it home some more. It was really disrespectful. My ex used to talk to me like that, and well, he`s now an ex.

 

Sure, the bad language and "are you serious?!" can be taken the wrong way. That`s the problem with IMs - some things are up to interpretation. Maybe he interpreted those as signs you were angry and then thought you were "giving in" to easily - like a lie just to end the conversation. I dunno, that`s the problem with IMs. I get the feeling in the beginning he thinks you aren`t taking him seriously (and all those are you serious?! and arguments about how its not a big deal probably did that) and then he seemed to get upset that you might think he is embarrassed about you, as opposed to being embarrassed about the messages.

 

However, after a point, he needs to stop and calm down even if he thinks you`re not understanding him. He got very offensive and the storming off and leaving you confused was bad.

[Firedancer03]

In my opinion, you weren't being overbearing by texting his roommate a couple of times to find out if he was ok. But since he (and apparently they) wants you to stop, you said you'd stop. No problem there. But what I don't understand is why he couldn't drop it. You said several times that you would stop texting his friends and he STILL couldn't let it go! Its almost as if he wanted to keep the fight going or let you know how irritated he really was. Kind of immature if you ask me. In my opinion, I think he needed to drop it after the first time you said you'd stop. He could have just said "ok hun, thanks for understanding." and that would be that. And the second time he got online it seemed like he was still trying to pick a fight with you.

 

Another thing I noticed is how many times you said you were sorry. I think the only time a sorry from you was needed was after he initially brought up the texting. After an "I'm sorry, I won't do it again" you don't need to apologize for anything! He was continuing to fuel the fire and you were the one apologizing! Stand your ground girl! Don't let him make you feel bad or guilty or like you need to be "sorry" for something. The next time he tries to continue a fight after his point has been made, ask him to kindly drop the subject because you get it! If he "storms off" let him do it. Don't keep chasing after him with the "I'm sorry"s.

[ghostgirl116]

wow. he seemed like he was being fair. i hate to say it, but you came accross as being a bit needy, and manipulative. so his friends want you to stop texting... why not just say "ok"? do you trust your bf?

[Empathy]

Ok...I don't see where you're getting manipulative from. Because that is not the case. And if you reread the post you'll realize that I did say "ok." And as of now, I don't think that texting his friend TWICE can be called needy.

[Empathy]

In my opinion, you weren't being overbearing by texting his roommate a couple of times to find out if he was ok.

 

It seems you were the only one who paid very close attention to my post. I appreciate it.

[shadowdreamz]

Sorry but I agree with your boyfriend. Unless there is a dire emergency , there is no reason to text his friends. If he is with them and wants to get in touch with you, he can borrow their phone and call you. sorry...

 

I agree with Snoopy. My bf and I do not have cell phones but if he is gonna be late at work or late coming home period he will find a phone or borrow one to call and let me know. Cause he knows that I worry. I have never had to call his friends or family to find out where he is.

 

But then on the other hand if he doesn't think it is important enough to call u and say he got home safe or is running late.. w/e. Maybe u need to figure out if this is the relationship for you.

 

wow. he seemed like he was being fair. i hate to say it, but you came accross as being a bit needy, and manipulative. so his friends want you to stop texting... why not just say "ok"? do you trust your bf?

 

And to be fair if u read the first part of the conversation she said ok several times. He kept dragging it out.

[star2008]

I don't think he ended up annoyed because you texted his friend but rather because

a) you don't believe him when he says his friends have an issue with the texting "I think you have more of a problem with it than others do"

b) you change the subject and call for sympathy saying how embarrasing/annoying you are.

 

"Me: Ok... I didn't know I embarrassed you... I'm sorry.

Me: Ok. I get the point that I've annoyed a lot of people... I understand.... I'll stop.

Me: All I was saying is that you've repeated several times that what I've done was annoying...You've said so enough.

 

Him: ok, your making it seem like i'm attacking you

Me: No, I'm not!"

 

Well yeah it seems like you imply that he is saying you embarrass and annoy people.

[Whiplash Girl Child]

Wow, I think you're blowing this WAY out of proportion. Re-read what he asked of you in the very beginning:

 

Him: You need to do me a favor

Him: well, a lot of people a favor

Him: Can you please stop texting people to find me? You know where I am

 

I also especially agree with him when he said:

 

"i dont mean to sound liek a * * * * , but your either misunderstanding and taking this too sever, or your being melodramatic (sp?)"

 

(the part about you taking it too severely and being melodramatic)

 

AND

 

"ok, your making it seem like i'm attacking you."

 

 

TO ME, it seems as if you're hypersensitive. You percieved his request as a personal attack, or maybe even a criticism. Take all that he said at face value. Don't attach (imagined) tones and inflections to his written words.

 

He asked you, nicely, not to do something and you flipped out. Time to grow up a little and accept the fact that someone is not happy with the things that you do.