Telling them...

[estrella28]

blueyes85...

 

Every time I see you write I feel like I can identify more and more with you. My ex just LOVES to post little pictures comments saying how beautiful I am. And then when we talk, it's all politics and science. Like I give a crap! Or I'll call, and he won't return my call for days!

 

Put it this way: if he wanted you back, AND he was prepared to be a good boyfriend, he would NOT wait days to talk to you, whether you wrote him back or not.

 

I've initiated a new plan I call Operation Pull-Away. It's kind of easing myself into NC, but still allowing myself the hope that maybe, who knows, he'll chase me someday.

 

This is how it works:

 

1. Set a goal. Something you need from him if the relationship is to progress in a positive way. Mine is that he will ask to hang out with me alone (i.e., a date). Maybe it could be that he tells you he misses you, or that he wants to get back together. Regardless of your goal, stick to it. Do not abort the plan unless he fulfills your goal.

2. Phased withdrawal. Make a chart that slowly decreases the number of times you respond to him (after he initiates contact of course!). For example, when he calls, do you answer/call back? When he comments, do you respond? My chart looks like this:

 

No

Yes

No

No

Yes

No

No

No

Yes

 

etc., with no's increasing. I decided that if I reach 7 no's and he still hasn't responded, that's basically as good as NC, and besides, by then I'll hopefully already have moved on.

 

This helps me because it keeps me from calling him and from being always available when he calls (if you're always available, he'll know you're still his, as someone wise told me). Unlike some of the others, I think not responding to his text was a SMART move. Guys like a chase! They like the thrill of the hunt - it's their favorite part of dating! So if he wants you, he will chase you. Let him!

 

...I only have to ignore him once more before he responds. Maybe he will finally ask me out this time...maybe not...but either way I can't blame myself.

 

Good luck girl! You deserve better, btw! Thinking about him is just a way to pass the time until the guy who's been searching for you finally finds you!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If he cares enough about you he will work on it and not let this little text glitch get in the way. I think people stress too much about whether or not a few little faux pas will ruin their chances...it will only ruin things if the person is ambivalent...if the person really cares and wants to get back together, they will be cautious but not put off.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Looks like all those talks about politics gave you food for thought....you might be ready for a job at the Pentagon! LOL

 

Anyway, I am not so sure about your plan...it is a bit too calculated and game playing...it also expends a lot of energy which could be used to just live your life.