GF's family possibly moving away.

[smiles21]

Hi everyone, just wanted to drop in and get some stuff off my chest.

 

Me and my GF have been together for about a year now. Great relationship, she is beautiful fun and everything I would look for in a girl. She is 20, I'm 24.

 

We get along great. We are both relatively from the same area.

 

 

Her dad has drug problems and her mom recently sent to him live in California with her sister. He can do odd jobs around the house and is very handy. I guess it was to escape what he was doing here. He was getting into more trouble here.

 

He is looking for work down there, and my GF's mom is debating on selling their house here, taking my GF's sister and moving down there.

 

My GF also has a brother here, but he doesn't live at home, and I dont think he would go.. he has a GF here. I know my GF loves California because she has a little bit of family there and her immediately family would be there as well. She goes to school here, but could transfer I assume to CA.

 

She asked me if I would go with her, but I cant picture leaving my family and job and everything I have here. She said I could live with her Mom in the house they will build there.

 

This is all so hard to grasp because I dont want to lose her. But I dont want to hold her back either. Anyone ever been through a similar situation?

[Meow18]

I would say if you are sure this is a girl you can see yourself with for a long time, then why not consider it?

 

However, I think that is a lot to ask. She has a life out by you as well. So asking the both of you to move and completely change your lives will be stressful and take some getting used to.

 

But then again, it would be an adventure for the two of you.

 

But some things you would need to consider would be what you would do if you were to break up? This is is a realistic possibility no matter how perfect you think you are together. Would you have a good enough job to get your own place and support yourself in CA? Would you have to move back?

 

Honestly, if I were you, I would try to convince her to stay here at least until she finishes school. If your relationship survives that long then you might want to start planning your lives together and then you might feel more secure moving anywhere with her.

 

And if your relationship doesn't survive that long, then at least you aren't sacrificing that much, considering she has a reason to stay (school, her brother, her friends) and you wouldn't be giving up everything.

[smiles21]

Thanks for the advice. She has about two semesters left here to finish her Associates degree out. I couldn't support myself there, it's too expensive.

 

I would probably have to move back. I've never been far from my Mom, but maybe it's time to finally break away. I'm not sure how she would take it either.

[Meow18]

Breaking away doesn't mean moving accross the country. In fact, so many people think they need to be so far away from their parents, when in reality, it will be even more stressful and hard.

 

And why should you break away from your mom? Maybe get your own place, but in what other ways do you mean?

 

She has two more semesters. I can garantee that if she transferred colleges, all of her credits would not and so she might even have to be in school longer. She should definitely look into that.

 

And if you know you can't support yourself out there, then that's a big sign that it might not be the best idea because you really never know what might happen. I'm not sure that a year is long enough to know if she really is the person for you.

[smiles21]

I meant breaking away would be moving away with her to Cali with her parents.

 

It's a tough choice and I fear losing her.

[ghost69]

you either really think it can work out and you can be happy or you don't. there is no in between. you either know or you don't know. if you don't know, it's probably not good.