Is this considered cheating?

[Seymore]

I was having the "have you ever cheated" conversation with my girlfriend tonight. We'd touched on it early on, not long after we had met, and she said she felt it was a horrible thing to do to someone. Tonight I was talking about a co-worker of mine cheating on his wife with two women and what a pig he was. My girlfriend then admitted that she did do it, but she didn't consider it cheating.

 

Her boyfriend at the time had abused her and finally broke her collarbone. He told her he never wanted anything to do with her again and he never returned her calls afterwards. This went on for two weeks and she figured it was over, so she had a rebound "fling" and got caught by her boyfriend. She didn't consider it cheating, and I'm surprised she was so open with me about it, but the boyfriend did consider it as such. So what do you think? Cheating or no?

[CarnelianButterfly]

When a man lays hands on a woman, I don't think she has any loyalties to him ever again.

[AngelEyez]

I agree with CarnelianButterfly. The relationship would be considered over once he struck her.

[doyathink]

When a man lays hands on a woman, I don't think she has any loyalties to him ever again.

 

Well said. And...they were broke up so...no, it wasn't cheating.

[Seymore]

When a man lays hands on a woman, I don't think she has any loyalties to him ever again.

 

Well said. I almost want to break his collarbone after hearing about that. I felt sick.

 

Wow, didn't see the post above...I'm not mocking you, doyathink...sorry

[wayoverit]

Cheating has a lot of meaning to different people nowadays.

 

IMHO she did not cheat. She had a fling with someone who could've potentially be her next boyfriend because the old one wasn't working out.

[andymandy17]

Bro! Just make sure you don't make the same mistake, and never cheat! It really isn't worth it, it's like after u watch some porn and your deleting the files off your comp, your always thinking in your head "why the * * * * do i even watch this stuff.."

No, i don't think she was cheating, make sure you don't do it to her.

[Seymore]

I've never cheated. I've been cheated ON by almost every girlfriend I've had, though. Through that, I realize what a terrible, terrible thing it is and swore I'd never put a girl through that. I'd never cheat on this girl. The way I feel about her my eyes don't even wander from her.

[Entomon]

If after that near death experience and she still took him back then I would say it's cheating.

[doyathink]

The way I feel about her my eyes don't even wander from her.

 

Aw, what a sweetheart!

She's a lucky woman.

[jevonj77]

Definitely not cheating! This is a no-brainier. She didn't cheat...she wasn't with him...he thought it was cheating because he was a very possessive person all the way to the point of breaking her collar bone!

[tiredofvampires]

I love what CarnelianButterfly said. Couldn't have said it better.

 

Even if she did take him back, she didn't cheat. He left her in the dust, gave up the relationship for dead. Just because he changes his mind and comes back later and wants more, that would make it cheating? It makes no sense.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Hmm. Ignoring the collarbone bit for now, if she thought that the relationship was over, taking some kind of decisive action to end it before moving on into a fling would be normally considered polite. But with this guy being abusive, not confronting him about breaking things off could be seen as a measure of self-protection.

[Seymore]

She tried, but he never answered her calls and avoided her.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Yeah, I'd definitely say not cheating then.

[winchester3]

Broken collar bones suck, i completely annihilated mine once and that left my left arm pretty much useless for about a month.

[PixelPusher]

Nope, she didn't cheat. The moment he laid hands on her and she thought the relationship was done, it was done.

[CallingAllAngels]

Well, they were on a "break" no "pun" intended with the whole collar bone thing. (THAT IS SERIOUS...NOT FUNNY STUFF)

 

NO MAN should EVER lay a hand on a woman...EVER.

 

Woman in abusive relationship sometimes see things differently...

 

No...she didn't cheat...he didn't deserve her.

 

Just be happy she's with you now....

[froggyday]

I agree, abuse is not to be tolerated, and he told her he didn't want to have anything to do with her, so no it wasn't cheating.

[Chibby33]

Respect for the individual is lost once any type of abuse enters a relationship. However for the abused partner, the painful scars of abuse must immediately be replaced with the freedom to choose to live a happier life.

[catwalk]

so lemme get this straight..... you are questioning if her abusive scumbag ex bf was in the right to think she had cheated after they had been obviously broken up for weeks?

 

not cheating.

 

and you should not have even had to ask.

[Rabican]

When a man lays hands on a woman, I don't think she has any loyalties to him ever again.

 

I agree with that. I would also say that she had very very good reason to view the relationship as over, both in her mind and officially as well. I wouldnt consider it cheating.

 

You could point out to her though, that if you ever have a big fight... to assume that you are not over, unless it is said that you are over.

 

Some people make a bigger issue of fighting than others... you dont want her made at you for forgetting to take out the trash and saying f him were over... and then hanging out with her ex, only to come back and 'make up' to you. (thats a stretch but you get my point).