Do I phone and find out

[Tonk]

Going through a bit with a relationship. My GF is overseas fro 12 days (from Australia) and visiting a friend in San francisco. Her ex is in Michigan and has been trying to see her. She hasnt called or emailled since Saturday when she explained she was missing me so much and I think she may have met up with her ex. Its a relationship which hasnt really got legs as she hasnt gotten over her ex yet but all the same I feel pretty torn up inside and miss her, we have spent pretty much every night\day together for the last 3 months. Although I know I shouldnt I have not but I have already got very attached to her. What I am not sure is do I ring SF and find out if she is there then at least I will know, wait till she gets back and find out the story or just forget and move on. I have a feeling I ought to do 3 but of course this is the hardest option as at the moment even though my mind says it doesnt have a future my feelings are extremely strong for her.

[bubbamackdaddy69]

I would maybe call to say hi obviously but that's all. I wouldn't worry too much if she is in SF.. Michigan is quite a distance away from SF. Not somewhere you would drive for just the week-end or something.It's far

[Tonk]

Thanks for the reply. I kind of want ot give her time as one of the things she feels this trip will help her get closure from her ex. Also the only number I have is her friend in SF and I dont want to put her on the spot either. I am pretty sure (99%) that if she sees her ex she will tell me as she has been honest with me so far, some times even if she knows what I want to hear. I kind of think its more important I trust her and give her some time but its difficult.

[Guest]

I think you should just wait until she gets back, and let her tell you what she did. If she doesn't speak anything of it, then you can ask her if she saw her ex. But, letting her tell you will make you feel much better about what is said, than if you were to pressure her about it. And if she's with you, and has told you that this will help her get closure, I wouldn't worry about it. Just turst her, and if you know she's been honest with you thus far, I don't think there is anything bad that's going to happen.

[The Morrigan]

I'd wait - think about it, if it was to get more than closure, or she had any intentions there, I doubt she'd have told you about him before she went, much less where he lived and everything. I'd worry a lot more if she HADN'T told you, and you heard from a friend her ex was there, instead of from her. And yeah, Michigan is a LOOOOONG ways from San Fran, I'm guesstimating somewhere between 2000-3000 miles! Definitely out of driving distance. For her to tell you her ex is there and she was considering getting closure was a gesture of trust on her part you wouldn't flip - so now it's your turn. Time to hope both of your trust is well placed, ne?

[Tonk]

Just a follow up. I got an email from my gf this morning and she is mad that I havent been in touch, sometimes you cant win!!!. I think it was good though as I dont advocate the treat them mean routine but I think sometimes we can get to attentive. As for the trust thing we will just have to wait and see.

 

Thanks for the advice guys