Getting my girlfriend to lose weight

[Natty7]

I agree, but I get where FarthestEdge is coming from. If he really loves her he wants her to change and well, get better. So he needs to empathize a little, show her she's not in it alone, but I understand what you are saying as well~ she obviously needs to be pushed a little since she won't push herself.

[JadedStar]

I agree and the thing i left out of my other post is that when my husband did this he did it in a caring manner and would always add "how can I help".

 

That shows that you are not going to be tolerant of whining but at the same time you love the person and if you can help you surely wil.

 

This is why i didn't really agree with calling it good cop bad cop because there is zero policing in this. It is just about smoeone you love holding you up to some accountability for your life and not tolerating their life having to be wrought with negativity over something that you are not going to attempt to even fix.

[FarthestEdge]

It's odd, but I highly agree with both Farthestedge and Jadedstar.

QUOTE]

 

 

I agree with me and JadedStar too! ;D

 

My husband turned me around using the same method. I used to whine & moan. He stopped coddling me & I learned to accept that it's up to me to make my weight a priority or to suck it up & quit complaining. If I can't make it a priority, then I have no one to blame but myself...

 

But Seanforever seems really concerned about her anger issues. DH didn't go "tough love" on me overnight either. I think JadedStars advice is as good too- and would probably suggest that as "phase II"

[stranded247]

I've talked her into going back onto the medication. stranded247 - cant thank you enough for the advice about the pills.. Shes going to talk to her mom about it and see if she can get back onto them. I'm not looking at this as a fix though, I'm still very much in an internal conflict about this. But if the pills do seem to fix the problem then I'll try to avoid all of this. But believe me we have alot of years left and people do regress its human nature

 

Your welcome, I really wanted to help because this situation infuriated me, she reminds me of what could have happened to me. But honestly the medication WILL make a difference but its not going to make the weight melt off, she will have to eat a very healthy diet and exercise and eat three meals a day instead of skipping meals.

 

Once she takes these pills her metabolism will function like any normal person and she wont struggle to lose weight it will come off easily if she tries.

[seanforever]

Your welcome, I really wanted to help because this situation infuriated me, she reminds me of what could have happened to me. But honestly the medication WILL make a difference but its not going to make the weight melt off, she will have to eat a very healthy diet and exercise and eat three meals a day instead of skipping meals.

 

Once she takes these pills her metabolism will function like any normal person and she wont struggle to lose weight it will come off easily if she tries.

 

Yeah, I know

 

Well, I've talked her into going back to the doctor. But she has to go with her mom, and shes 99% sure her mom wont let her go onto a serious medication like levothyroxin, yet she before was on some vietnamese alll-natural thyroid pill.

 

I've also shown her some natural alternates like virgin coconut oil. Basically for now its a waiting game for me. I have to wait until her mom can take her to the doctor, wait to see what he says/gives her, then wait for her to start doing something about it, and make damn sure she sticks to it

 

I'm about to start a fitness ruitine with my friend that will yeild some pretty good results, 6 pack the whole works. I'm going to drop hints about this to her, along with all the other hints I've been dropping. Luckily she hasnt caught onto my act

 

This valentines day the promise ring thing has come up.. if things havent changed by then, I'm gonna have to facilitate things a bit. I thought about intentionally getting her a ring too small so when she asks why it doesnt fit I can say "it will when you lose weight" but that might be a little too mean.

 

Either way I'm gonna take charge, stop tiptoeing around the point and be a man

[illusionglimps]

The thing with teh ring is horrible.What if she would come to you with a condom for your willy 2 sizes bigger and when you're like babe it's too big" she would say, "It'll be good when you get a penis enlargement."

[ryan250]

I haven't read the other replies, however, if you are loosing/lost attraction to her, then you have to really think about your actions...

 

Hey, if you don't find her attractive anymore, a healthy relationship just isn't possible. I wouldn't blame you one bit for breaking things off because of her being overweight and unnatractive.

[seanforever]

Not the best analogy in my opinion..

 

Anyway, last night we had a bit of a breakthrough. Basically we talked about promise rings again and she told me that if there was anything on my mind about the relationship that we talk about it now. How perfect. I told her everything. She was very attentive, and we didnt fight. She just has a weak self-will. She needed to have the support of me telling her that it needs to be done and positive reinforcement rather than negative (her parents telling her shes fat, this just doesnt help at all) and shes very attracted to the whole tell-her-what-to-do roll I'm playing.

 

So last night we decided that me giving her the kick in the pants was what she needed.. so I guess the diet starts today officially. Shes quitting soda, coffee drinks, junk foods and shes going vegetarian again. This is a start. And when she gets things figured out at the doctor and goes on the medications it will only get better. So for now I think we will be ok - I thank everyone for the advice.. I'll be sure to post an update in a few months with the progress

[Alezia]

That's good news =) I wouldn't suggest getting a ring that's too small as it will most likely never fit her. I doubt she has gained so much weight that her fingers are a few size bigger. (She would if we were talking 150lbs though)

 

I guess see how it goes. If she makes the effort to eat healthy but the weight doesn't come off immediately, keep encouraging her.

[Natty7]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! SO COMMUNICATION IS THE BEST POLICY! HMMM... LoL

 

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO AND HOPE SHE CONTINUES WITH HER EFFORTS AND YOU WITH YOUR SUPPORT!!!

[mrploww]

I know this is an old thread, but I just stumbled accross it via Google. My GF also suffers from hypothroidism. She has been seeing her regular physician for over 2 years and they still do not have it adjusted correctly. Her insurance is very limited, so she repeated pays over $200 every month for blood work. When the blood tests come back, the Dr. just increases her dosage by 10 Mg. She is currently on Synthroid. I am getting very frustrated and believe that she should go to a specialist regarding this problem. I believe that her regular dr just doesn't know how to treat the problem correctly. She has gained around 40-50 lbs since this problem began and she is unable to lose any weight. She is very depressed and seems to lack any motivation to do anything. She has also been seeing a dietician for 3months now, but nothing there is working either. How can I convince her to go see a specialist? I am just not as physically attracted to her as I was before. It is hard to do any sexual things with her because of this issue. I am just at my wits end with things. Any advice or suggestions?

Thanks so much.