Sam -Confused

[TAB1234]

I need your help guys (and girls I saw this girl last yr very briefly but quickly bailed out b4 it got serious (just wasnt ready for a serious rship). However in Jan i started thinking abt her again thinking i didnt give her a chance and decided to go back and not be so fickle this time. Unknown to me was that people started gossiping abt reasons why i bailed out b4 saying that i disliked her family/mum etc...which wasnt true. She was sceptical at first and gave me a hard time abt the things i was supposed to have said but then gave me a chance and we got back together. Everything was going really well for abt 6 months (i honestly thought she was the ONE), we made plans abt settling down (we're both in our 30's, never married before and would like to have kids asap) but then we had this little argument which just "blew up" and she sulked for a week and didnt return my calls which got my back up so in anger i finished it VIA TEXT. felt bad immediately this time and tried calling her but she was understandably irate and told me never to call her again and hung up. I thought fair enough and gave it a few days and called her, i told her i didnt want to argue but she was v.irate and started shouting her head off, saying i'm play games with peoples lives and hung up!!! i thought i can't be with someone who is going to disrespect me by shouting (I have never shouted/swore at her). She did use one swear word but then realised she said it and backtracked a little) but still carried on shouting and hung up. didnt give me a chance to say one word.That was my closure. it hurt 'cos i thought she was the one and we'd made plans etc...but she just didnt trust me. However again i keep thinking abt her and have sent a couple of meaningless email saying -"hope ur well" (which have understandably been ignored) but without expressing how i genuinely feel ie that i did really care for her. Also sent her one msg on facebook saying hope ur well and she blocked me!! Question is Do i let go and leave it as have already caused so much damage and it's now been 4 months since we broke up (+ the fact she's ignored my emails/maybe blocked me even) or do i tell her that i did care. When i'm writing this it seems clear that i should drop it and move on but feelings are still there which i've never expressed to her which i sometimes feel i should express. However i'm confused as i'm also unsure whether i should express these feelings because i'm not 100% sure i want her due to the way she's treated me. if she's cut me off before she'll do it again (and what happens with the next argument) or do i still risk the wrath of being blasted again and express how i feel and take it from there? Am confused!! Any advice/thoughts?

[greensleeves]

Do you remember what the argument was about (the one that "blew up"?

[Snoopy24]

hello : -)

 

Yes, it seems the damage is done, and I would just move on.

 

She has ignored your attempts and blocked you..so I would just take it as that and learn from this and try and start fresh with someone new.

[thouse]

I agree after 4 months she is still ignoring you I would definitely think about moving on. 4 months is a lot of time to cool off from an argument.

[TAB1234]

Do you remember what the argument was about (the one that "blew up"?

 

yes, it was so stupid. i made a nonchalant comment abt her mum not liking boys (her mum has 3 daughters and 2 granddaughters and i said my cousin has 6 boys and my ex's mum said she wouldnt like to have all boys which i misheard to her saying she doesnt like boys). However my ex called me a jerk for saying that her mum doesnt like boys and said her mum would never say anything like that and i said "are you saying i'm making it up out of the blue and lying" and she said stop being such a jerk which really surprised me as we've never been disrespectful to each other and got me upset. We had dinner but i was upset and dropped her home. I calmed down and told her we need to talk abt what happened. I told her i couldnt look at her y'day 'cos i was upset at the name calling -she took that as i meant i couldnt look her out of disgust but it wasnt that -it was out of hurt/upset. She thinks i was aggressive and how dare i say that to her etc... and she hung up. jeez when i type this all it makes me see it clearly thinking i had a lucky escape and she never liked me and that i should move on!! However some feelings are still there

[TAB1234]

Thank you -just typing it all out has been therapeutic and i think its done the trick that i see that i should move on

[thouse]

Thank you -just typing it all out has been therapeutic and i think its done the trick that i see that i should move on

That was a pretty dumb reason to get mad, I am wondering now about her maturity level.

[TAB1234]

sorry one more thing, what bugs me is that she hates me, thinking i was playing games with her but that wasnt true. i did genuinely care.

[greensleeves]

sorry one more thing, what bugs me is that she hates me, thinking i was playing games with her but that wasnt true. i did genuinely care.

 

I think you just answered your own question....you say you DID care, not that you DO care. So, the best thing for both of you is to carry on with your life...it doesn't sound like either one of you wants to be in a relationship with eachother. If it makes you feel better, you could send her one last email saying that you're sorry things didn't work out and that you did care about her, but if she's already blocked you, there probably isn't much point.