Exboyfriend problems. I need serious help on this one!!

[mzcookie]

im soo confused now.my ex says he likes me still. i know hes tellin me the truth. i like him alot too. my problem starts when he doesnt want to be with me offically. like gf/bf. i guess hes not ready for a serious one. he also thinks having a sexual relationship is okay too. i dont mind, but im afraid one of us will get hurt at the end. we talk about this clearly. he said that he isnt dating anyone and it wouldnt seem right if he did. we hardly go out like we use to like when we were toghether. we usualy chatonline sometimes. i dont kno what hes intensions are. i need serious help on this one! i dont know what to do. should i just go with the flow nsee wat happens? or just move on? HELP ME!!

[DoorMouse]

Having a "friend with benefits" never benefits anyone in the long run. Your body should not be used as a fun-land. If you want a serious relationship, let him know. If he's only in it for the sex, put your foot down and let him know that you're not his toy. It sounds to me that if he's not ready to be in a long-term relationship, he's not ready to take on the resposibilities of being sexually active either. Respect yourself and let him know how you feel, don't give in to spur of the moment things or feelings will get hurt.

[Mar]

I have to agree that your instincts on having a purely sexual relationship could lead to hurt later on. It appears that you both have feelings for the other, but I'm guessing that he, or both of you, are afraid to go back out again on an official basis because it didn't work the first time. Understandable, and possibly not far off, depending on the reasons you broke up.

 

You have to discuss this with him. Let him know that you enjoy being with him, but that you don't want to be used strictly for sex-it's not fair to you, and puts you in an awkward place as far as dating other people goes. So the way I see it is that he either agrees to give it another try on an "official" basis, or you remain friends and nothing more. Halfway won't work in the end, and will only lead to stronger feelings being renewed on your part, if not his as well.

 

 

Mar

[mzcookie]

Having a "friend with benefits" never benefits anyone in the long run. Your body should not be used as a fun-land. If you want a serious relationship, let him know. If he's only in it for the sex, put your foot down and let him know that you're not his toy. It sounds to me that if he's not ready to be in a long-term relationship, he's not ready to take on the resposibilities of being sexually active either. Respect yourself and let him know how you feel, don't give in to spur of the moment things or feelings will get hurt.

 

>> replying back

well, i know he isnt ready for a relationship, but maybe he really likes me n just waiting til he knows wat he wants. he says that he seems me more than a friend. cus i mention that to him about FTF. ( friends with benefits). he doesnt see me in that way. he thinks we are in somewhat relationship but not offically you kno?

[slave4yoo]

my ex dumped me a month ago, we still have sex, he says he still cares.. well no I dont think we are being used for sex.. because if they really wanted to they could ask some other girl. im sure he still has feelings for you, and maybe even wants to get back with u, but cant b/c he is afraid of gettin hurt .. he deff. hasnt moved on if he still sleeps on with you

[rubytuesday]

I'm in a similar place but I've already started sleeping with my ex (even tho I know it's a bad idea!). This is hypocritical but I wouldn't advise a casual relationship with someone you already have strong feelings for. My situation is cutting me up but I just can't let go, I love him too much. The emotional pain is awful believe me.

 

Slave4yoo: just wondering, is it not really painful? Cos I am finding it that way so far.