rubytuesday

To cut a long story short, myself and my ex have been having a casual (friendship+sex+cuddles, kisses etc) thing for over a month. We split up in early September, he just dumped me out of the blue. He knows I love him and said when we started this casual thing that he loves me but was unsure if it would work as a relationship. Everything is good and I'm treading carefully, trying to act lighthearted etc. But I think maybe I should ask him what he thinks about getting back together, just bring it up casually? I am happy but would be much happier if there was a proper commitment. What should I do? Sarah xx

I'm in a similar place but I've already started sleeping with my ex (even tho I know it's a bad idea!). This is hypocritical but I wouldn't advise a casual relationship with someone you already have strong feelings for. My situation is cutting me up but I just can't let go, I love him too much. The emotional pain is awful believe me. Slave4yoo: just wondering, is it not really painful? Cos I am finding it that way so far.

I know, I know, but I just don't feel that he would use me. He is so genuine and a really nice guy. I'm scared that if I don't even have this casual thing with him then he'll lose interest and we will never get back together.

My ex dumped me 2 months ago, said we weren't right for each other. V sudden and out of blue! I am in love with him but had never said it. We see each other occasionally when on nights out and are friendly. Last Friday, he was v flirty and said a lot of things about how he really misses and likes me, wants to sleep with me etc. We did and spent the next day together. The Saturday night we spent together again, and I told him that I still loved him. He admitted that the reason he ended it was because he doesn't feel the chemistry that he thinks we would need for it to work out in the long run, but said that he loves me and we both shed a few tears. I think I remember him saying we can be like best mates who have sex, but I had had a bit to drink, can't recall exactly. Next day, no mention of emotional (somewhat drunken!) conversation. We had sex again, and watched TV etc like we would have in the old days on a Sunday morning. He drove me home but there was just a 'See ya'; no kiss or anything. He did ask me if I wanted to come to his band's gig next week tho. He hasn't called since, altho I don't expect him to. What I want to know is what should I do to turn this casual thing back into our relationship. I don't know if I should have been quite so open and needy on Sat night (should I be v carefree and not bothered about him??) but he was very sweet about it at the time. Any help would be much appreciated Sarah x