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did i do the right thing? or am i a wimp?


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tonight i ran into a tricky situation and im not sure i handled it right.

i was on my way to meet acouple guy friends at the local bar to have a beer or two and watch some football. i was meeting them all there so i was alone. i pulled into the parking lot to see my ex's car parked there.

at that very instant i was over taken by a wave of emotions. my stomach started doing the butterfly thing. to make the story short. i left. i couldnt go in. this is a small bar and avoiding her would have been out of the question. so i choose to avoid the whole situation. the drive home sucked, i had every thought running through my mind about her. good and bad.

i have to add its been 6 months since the break on her decision. weve had no contact for acouple months due to her playing the usual games.

was i wrong for leaving? i just cant handle even seeing her yet. i believe somewhat in out of site out of mind. im 26 and feel like the biggest wimp!!!! why do i and others let our ex's have this sort of control....? or is it me and my mind being my worst enemy? any advice?

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Were you wrong for leaving - no I don't think so. As you said, you can't handle seeing her just yet so its best that you don't.

 

Is your mind being your own worst enemy - well yes of course. After all, your ex isn't letting the breakup slow her down and probably isn't spending any sleepless nights thinking about it. So why should you? That's so easy to say, and so hard to live.

 

Eventually you will get to the point where you can see her again. But that will be after you move on and no longer have those feelings for her. Be strong, you will be fine.

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I once heard a quote that struck me as both common sense, as well as powerful.

 

"The only power someone has is the power you give them."

 

This statement I found to be very powerful, especially when dealing with women. We tend to avoid tense situations with women, most particularly when meeting new "hot" women...we give them all the power because we believe they are too good...etc....

 

But I think you can apply that to this situation with your ex, the only power she has is the power you give her. Like the previous poster said, it's so tough to see your ex move on so quickly (perhaps she's the type who needs a partner to feel validated?), but it's a part of life...everyone has been there. He is also correct when he says you'll get to the point where you just don't care...but in the meantime you can just say to yourself the quote i posted above...it really helps!

 

Cheers,

 

Bill

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You're not a wimp - a broken heart is difficult to mend.

 

Take you time, find a focus and crack on. In truth I think that the only way to fully get over someone is to meet someone else who makes you forget it all. But in the meantime, if you don't feel up to seeing her yet then don't. If you don't ever want to see her again, then don't. What's there to prove?

 

I often wonder why people say that you're never over someone unless you can see them again without letting it affect you as if it is the ultimate test of a mended heart. The truth is that people who touch our hearts are never forgotten and we carry echoes of them around with us forever. It becomes part of who we are. If someone has broken your heart then it is not wrong not to want to see them; it is in our nature to avoid pain. Forgiveness only comes with time. And like I say, it's certainly makes it easy if you've found someone else.

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