What do women look for in the approach?

[matius]

This is mainly for the women on this board. I realize that American guys are presented with a handbook of songs & dances to study before the approach but I think that's a bit much.

 

I work a lot. too much at the moment -- so I only have opportunities to approach at grocery stores, walking around my apt, or at work (for example)... these are hardcore - never met - shoot ya to the ground kind of approaches. Ones I don't take issue with but results in a hell of a lot fewer numbers... obviously.

 

But I'm also not the kind a guy to throw out a line or some programmed speak. I'd rather introduce myself and go on from there. I can be funny at times, but I'm not a comedian on the spot. Most people will give advice to say something funny -- that's great if you're funny 24/7 like a clown but not all of us have that luxury.

 

Besides straight up looks because that's got to be #1 on your list, what other factors immediately make you think yah or nah? I realize unless you're extremely good looking and have some flash they're not even going to consider an approach in the break aisle... but ya know.

 

Thanks for your real thoughts.

[Day_Walker]

If you are best at just introducing yourself then that is what you should do. You cannot do anything that is foreign to you, just make some small talk for a couple mins, then ask for her number if you would like to get to know her better, if not then be on your way.

[matius]

>

 

That's a good point. When you get in your mind you should be following some sort of rules or act it's easy either hesitate and not make the approach or fumble around like a doof.

[Luke Skywalker]

You should do a search of other threads on this topic.

 

I've found the posts with galaxy71 on them to be helpful at having perspective to this topic, and most of his posts are in threads dealing with approaching so I'd recommend searching up that user's id and looking for all his posts, and then reviewing the whole thread, to find the answers to what you are looking for.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

dont worry about what they look for just be respectful and introduce yourself and go from there

 

if she dont like it screw her

[love4life]

You can't force that sort of thing. I think those sorts of hook-ups are successful because the person who initiates the talking actually has some interest in whatever is in front of both people (they're both contemplating the last packet of Old El Paso Taco Seasoning Mix or she's reading your favorite book at the bus stop). When that happens, you actually have a common interest to draw on.

 

Without that, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and say in the most genuine, non-player-like way, "Excuse me. I find you incredibly attractive. May I have your number and call you sometime?"

[love4life]

To build on what I just posted, I would be interested in someone who simply stated he was interested because it would show he knows how to communicate, he's not playing games and he's direct and honest. Those are all traits I look for in a mate, so I would think, "Wow, this guy's a keeper."

[Batya33]

My favorite all time approach was in 1989. We were in our early 20s and were at a singles event. He said sincerely "hi, how are you?" Second favorite was a year earlier, at a popular bar, I was leaning against a railing and he asked if he could "invade my space" - gently moved me off the railing and had me stand facing him. I was smitten. then again I was only 22.

 

I don't look for "hot" or "flash" and if I see mr. hot who then wants to make it clear he is wealthy that is a big turn off. When I was looking I looked for warm and sincere, articulate, intelligent and classy - and I mean true class not "flashy."

[ghost69]

rules:

 

-don't over-compliment

-don't tell jokes 110% of the time

-be real (yourself)