Broke up with girlfriend but feel good .... is that right?

[Jonboy582]

Heya as allot of you may know I have been having a rough patch with my girlfriend. Well ex girlfriend now and we broke up about 4 days ago.

 

I'm all confused as I don't feel really sad or depressed, I actually feel rather positive. I know towards the end of the relationship I was so deeply depressed, but now I don't have to face these problems and life is just easier.

 

I know I still love her and we both said there is a possibility of getting back together but right now I am just not too bothered. And the funny thing is when we have spoken since the break up we are getting along much better than we used to. She is no longer shouting at me and actually laughs and makes conversation. Whats going on, I thought breakups were meant to be really sad but I have only shed one tear literally only one.

 

I think this might have been helped though due to the fact I am scared to be alone. And rather conveniently another girl has come along pretty much the same time me and her broke up. I know this girl likes me but I don't know how. I mean I know she would sleep with me (well pretty sure anyway), but not sure if it would be anything more.

 

So I don't know what I'm expecting to hear .... just comments on the situation I guess.

[Darkness_Falls]

Well in some ways I can relate to this, with 3 of my relationships. I can tell you that it is perfectly natural to feel a feeling of elation when you break up with someone when things weren't going so good. For 2 of my relationships, this was the case. But those 2 both treated me very badly, so I had a good reason to feel happy. If you were depressed in the relationship then I think you have a good reason to feel happy as well.

 

My longest relationship was 3 and a half years and we broke up mutually because we had ended up becoming the best of friends rather than lovers. It was good for both of us and I think we were relieved because we didn't have to focus on what the heck was going wrong in the relationship. We accepted it hadn't worked out. And you know what? We are still best friends.

 

So break ups dont need to be a time full of tears and depression (although they can be) depending on the circumstances they can be a happy event of maybe letting go of something that just didn't feel quite right.

 

Maybe hold off on the other girl for the moment and let things settle down, you don't want to get into the whole rebound thing to complicate things. But do what ever feels right to you.

 

Embrace the happiness!

[Jonboy582]

hehe Yer might do. Depends what happens at the weekend really Ohh and glad it ended up good for you and ex. Its strange I feel more friendly to her now rather than a boyfriend.

 

I'm just worried that if we try friends, she could do it but I can't and would want her back. I mean I find her very attractive still and have had sex with her. Would this not prove weired also.

 

And as for breaking up and feeling good my last breakup was horrible for me. The girl treated me like absolute dog turd then dumped me. I mean I was so distraught for a couple of months. But present gf in comparison wasn't as bad. And unlike the time before she is actually a nice person and not deliberately malicious and hurt full. And as of yet not going out with my best friend.

[gravity]

It's a good sign that you are feeling better about the situation and your relationship with your ex. sometimes couples just need a break from each other. while you seem to be friends with your ex, which is great, still i would caution you about this other girl.

 

you say you still love your ex, and there is a possibility of getting back together. by sleeping with this new girl you may be jeopardizing that future, as well as your current friendship with your ex.

 

I suggest taking things slow, and although you say you are afraid of being alone, you could try staying single for a bit. take time to get out and enjoy your freedom.

 

Good Luck!

[Jonboy582]

I understand what your saying, but the ex was adiment that we had a complete break and could if we so wish sleep with other people. This way it would get things more clear to me and her that we were actually meant to be and not just staying with each other for the sake of being together.

 

If this other girl wants a relationship then I would not put her in the position where she might get hurt. But if its just sex ... then thats a different matter.

 

But in the end I don't even know if anything will happen anyway, I'm saying these things as assumptions, but she may well decide she does not want to hook up with me anyway.

 

Jon

[gravity]

If your ex gave you the green light and assuming the new girl is just interested in hooking up with you I'd say go for it!

 

Hopefully this will help you clear up your feelings concerning your ex. and if not, well at least it'll be fun ;-)

[Jonboy582]

Yeah I am pretty sure I got the green light. Can't find the exact text. But I asked "Are we on a break break or something more serious, I mean are we staying exclusive or if the moment arose could we get with other people, only reason I ask is I dont want anyone to be caused unnecessary hurt"

 

"And she said we need to have a complete break so we know if we are right for each other or not"

 

Or something along those lines.